Why are we single???

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Why are we single???
34
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 2:23am
Because they are all married! That's why!

I ended up spontaneously going out tonight to a place I don't go to often. I ran into a guy a graduated high school with (2 hrs away from home) and I ended up hanging out with him and his friends most of the night. He was super shy in high school, as was I, and we've only run into each other twice. We were not friends back in the day. As the night progressed, he got flirter and started telling me how " smokin' hot" I am. Oh, and did I mention he's married? His (also married) friends dragged him out of the bar and he came back, saying he lost his phone. It was on the table, but we couldn't find it. My friend suggested I call it. So I did, not realizing that it could have been a ploy to get my number.

At one point in the night, he told me that he could tell the DJ liked me by the way he looked at me. Also married.

I have another friend who is a DJ that I have chemistry with and we'd be great together. Also married.

So ladies, I've decided. They're all married. That's why. We might as well just assume that if we meet a great guy, his wife won't be far behind!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 12:54pm

see Shy.. what you just said proves the whole theory.. I rest my case.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 1:14pm

why do the men run?

chaika

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 1:37pm
Umm.. No it doesn't, free. Maybe you just don't understand what I wrote. Fear is not the same as making a choice. A man not wanting to commit is not something that's under my control.

The last boyfriend I had I stayed with for far too long, mostly because I saw his good qualities more than his bad. He broke up with me, for reasons he didn't really explain. Probably because he knew we really weren't meant to be. The guy before that was ready to move in after two weeks and marry me within a month. That's too fast for me. After three months, he broke up. Then he wanted me back. Then he broke up again. I have since decided he may be bipolar given some of his actions while we were dating. I never broke up with him, though. I was willing to stick it out.

Since then, the guys I've met/been interested in were only interested in flirting and not actually following through. If I found one who actually wanted to date AND wasn't just desperate, I'd be game.

I really think some of you judge others who aren't just like you far too harshly. I never asked for advice here. I simply made an observation. But because of that, I'm being analyzed for all of my faults. Isn't that what we DESPISE married people doing to us?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 4:40pm

Better said than I could state it:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 4:44pm

For me, the freaky thing is that they run TOWARDS me, not away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 5:05pm

Sorry shy I did not mean to judge. I should know better.

I do know that alot of times that you have written on the board that you saw a guy or met a guy and you would never ask him out or ask him to dinner or ask him out on a date..You have said that is not your style. Okay.. I can understand that but in my own opinion I dont think that works 100 percent of the time (just saying).. Wayne Dyer says when we change the way we look at things; things change..so if you have been doing this dating thing your way forever do you think maybe if you changed it up a bit things might change. Why not try and see.. If one thing doesnt work try another.. Its a fact of life..

I am also wondering if you wanted to get married and have babies why did you choose to be in a fwb.. I dont make up the numbers but when someone goes into a fwb it never works out .. Either party just lets it go or stays around too long.. If you want marriage and babies then the better choice is finding someone who wants the same thing and if you think that your emotions are not getting involved and you think you are not wasting time you are. Its statistics and the more time you spend with something you dont want the less time you have to find the things you do want.. I speak from pure experience..

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 5:52pm
Trust me, Free, I'm doing things much differently than I did five years ago. I'm actually more forward with men now, and it does seem to scare them off at times. But I figure those guys would be scared off by me eventually anyway. Some men just really want a submissive woman, and that's not me. I'm not truly dominant either. I'm somewhere in between. I don't want a submissive man either. The ones who don't have the balls to ask me out couldn't handle my strength.

As for the FWB, he really isn't keeping me from any other men. I actually havent seen him in three weeks. I've turned him down a few times since. I see it as having a rental while searching for the one I want to buy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 6:13pm
Marina90292 wrote:

I'd sure as heck like to figure out why the ones I like don't like me, and the ones I am lukewarm about go nuts for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 4:20pm

I have never asked anyone out either, but I would now ( I think) - if I actually MET a man I liked! But I never meet anyone, that is my problem. Where should I meet them, I wonder.. I studied with just girls (or almost), I now work with just women (tourism.....it is filled with women and gay people - nothing wrong with that, but there is a definite shortage of hetero men!), my friends scarcely have time to meet me even for a coffee and therefore not being able to "help me" by going out to places where I can actually meet guys my age and who would share my interests (music for instance). Yes, I could do it alone of course. And I do sometimes too. But...that makes me very nervous. And it cannot be the right places, as I never see any single guys my age there either... So, where are they (or, is he)?

The above mentioned things are mainly why I am single. I have been ready for relationships for so many years, but still nothing happens. I have barely been in an environment with guys since college and my last job (never happened anything there either), except my choir. All the guys there are either attached, not at all attractive for me or much too old. It might be a very bad excuse, so I could obviously need some help. But, I am in fact attending a seminar a few hours away in a month´s time where I don´t know anyone at all. Maybe there are some (or just one!) nice single men my age there? A girl can hope! :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 8:06pm

Free wrote: