Why are you single?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Why are you single?
89
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 11:33pm

Yes, I'm asking the dreaded question!!


For some, it's because you truly want to be.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 7:09am

shyone...


If you don't mind a "confession" from a man who has been married twice....had a 3-year relationship with "the girlfriend from hell" and is now currently single....Pianoguy would love to toss out a thought or two....


I am single and get very lonely at times (thank goodness for my border collie)!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 7:47am

I'm single because I choose to be single. I won't go out of my way to seek out a relationship. I do not want to come across as someone who is desperate. I enjoy being single and being able to do what I want, when I want.

I don't plan on having children so I'm not on some sort of timetable to meet someone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 9:49am

I'm single because:

I like my life on my own terms
I like to do with my time what I like to do with my time
I like to be productive
I don't like having to answer to anyone
I don't like the desperation that comes with relationships
I like living alone and sleeping alone and having all my things as I like them
I like to be emotionally stable
I like to channel my energy towards things and causes that I care about, not toward a relationship
I like my own friends, my own family, my own network of support
I like to come home to a quiet house and have the remote control all to myself
I like doing my own laundry and no one else's
I don't like someone calling me all the time and always wanting to be around me
I like being dependent only on myself - emotionally and financially

This list could get really long. Basically, I'm single because I'm truly happy being single and I like my life on my own terms, with no interjections from another person. I choose to be single and I'm VERY happy with that choice.

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~Gandhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:28am

Wredd,

I think you and I would be perfect for each other.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:38am
I think that is a compliment and I appreciate it but I've found that I'm not perfect for anyone but ME! :)

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~Gandhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:45am

I'm actually only a few weeks single...but it's by my choice. Right now I feel that I need to be single and I need to figure out a lot of things before jumping into another relationship (bad history with jumping from relationship to relationship). I have self esteem issues and I know deep down that I HAVE to work on this before I can be truly happy. I want to feel that I'm happy being in a relationship and it contributes to my life...not that I NEED a relationship/companion to make me happy.

Sound stupid?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:46am

I'm overweight, too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:50am
Does that sound stupid? Not at all. It sounds SMART. Good for you for coming to that conclusion! :)

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~Gandhi

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:51am

I'm only self-conscious about it if I feel like I'm being judged by someone else because of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 11:03am

I am married now but I know why I was single for so long. There are various reasons. For one thing, I wanted men to "accept me the way I am", without doing any work on myself. I finally decided to start reading some relationships books to get more insight into what I was doing "wrong" on first dates. I was spilling out too much information about myself, talking too much, and not giving the man a chance to pursue me. I believe if you tell a man EVERYTHING about yourself on a first date, odds are good there will not be a second date. You have already revealed too much of yourself, and there is nothing left for the person to explore about you. Also giving up too easily make one single longer. I started joining dating services and "working it" to meet the right person.

There are too many men who have been heavily influenced by false media images of women who are size zero, and they think *all* women can be like that. Its not true. Most women over the age of 18 are not going to be size zero. Its just reality. There are lots of shallow men out there with unrealistic standards, who will be alone for a very long time.

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