Why do doctors need to know marital stat

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Why do doctors need to know marital stat
33
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 4:40pm

Just wondered this, I was already wondering it upon visiting both a dermatologist and an eye doctor within the last 6 months. I can understand if a gynecologist needs to know, if the woman is pregnant or discovered to have a STD. But why, with all doctors, when you go for the first visit and have to fill out the new patient forms, is there always a section for you to disclose your marital status?

I was already wondering this, but thought I would ask other peoples' opinions after reading a review of Bella De Paulo's book "Singled Out" I either read it in the reviews of this book in Amazon dot com today, or it was in the Internet in something I read about singles discrimination, but someone said "yes, doctors want to know why you are single so they can tell you that if you were married, your problem would go away, or that if you have the problem and are single, it is because you are single and have the time to imagine more medical problems." (I am paraphrasing, but I hope the gist gets through) I would hope that this person's opinion of why doctors ask marital status isn't the case, but you never know.

Personally, what I have thought to do with such a question on such a new patient form, one time I just put "N/A" down, the doctor didn't say anything. Then there was the time at a temp agency where I was filling out the I-9 form, (in my state, employers can't legally ask marital status) however, there was a space on the I-9 form for me to put my "maiden name" So I filled it in and put my last name, and figured I would let them wonder if I was married but chose to keep my original last name.

So what is anyone else's take on why doctor's (and others) ask this, to me, irrelevant question on their forms for one to fill out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 1:41pm

>Yeah, I don't know if it's because I'm young and being single is just statistically more common, but I think she sounds a bit extreme/paranoid. It's probably just a form question that's on pretty much everything, for all sorts of different doctors, so for the ones for whom it actually matters it carries over onto all the standardized forms.<

I was also going to make this statement. There are a LOT of people who take things WAY too personally these days, whether it's their marital status, religion, or whatever. Not EVERYTHING is set up solely for the sake of discriminating against people. Especially in the medical setting. Trust me, we have better things to do than to sit around and wonder why that nice Mary Sue is single.

Once again, at the hospital I used to work at, one of the questions we had to ask people was whether they had a religious preference they wanted to declare. And MANY people would get offended at this. Several asked me why we asked this. The reason we did it is because SOMETIMES, (yes it happens unfortunately) people get really sick while they're in the hospital. SOMETIMES we don't know if you will live. And we would like to know if you have a certain religious preference because if you state you're Catholic and a Rabbi suddenly shows up at your door and says he's been sent here, we know he's either in the wrong room or there's something funny going on.

So not EVERYTHING is meant to be discriminatory and there are a lot of people who take things WAYYYY too personally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 2:03pm

http://www.belladepaulo.com/

I was just re-reading her website after reading the first 4 chapters of her book, on Sunday. Like I said, I don't want to be blind, but I don't want to make it a "mission" as she says in her website, to look for stereotypes and whatever, on singles.

I returned the book and got my $27.00 back, BTW.

Thanks for the input about doctors' forms...sincerely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 2:45pm

Yeah, I'm kinda glad you did...this woman seems to just want to complain about something. I'm not saying single people are NEVER left out, but come on...

Why on Earth would I WANT to add someone else to my heath insurance plan if I'm single?? It wouldn't be fair to allow non-married people to put random friends or relatives (save for children, of course) on their insurance, in my opinion.

And oh yeah, Martha Stewart and Johnny Depp have it REAL rough. ::eyeroll:: I agree that people just take things too personally sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 06-05-2007 - 2:56pm

I looked over this woman's web site because I hadn't heard of her before now.

And the things she has to say about "looking" for stereotypes - sheesh - she started to remind me of a relative I have.

I have an aunt who's also single and thinks along these lines. She's around her middle 50s and she's highly educated. However, she's also paranoid-schizophrenic (she talks to her radio quite often and thinks the IRS is following her), and she finds discrimination and harrassment everywhere she looks. Being with her is painful because she's rude, strange, and there's no having an intelligent conversation with her despite her graduate degrees.

For example, she and I went to a museum together once. A fellow was going in at the same time in front of us, and he saw us and opened the door to allow us to go in first. My aunt, being the paranoid-schizo she is, refused LOUDLY to go through the door as long as he was holding it. Not only was I embarrassed for myself but I was embarrassed for the guy. He was only being courteous and this is the type of behavior he got back for doing nothing more than having manners. He was not trying to pick us up, he was not trying to make a statement that all women are weak and can't open a door for themselves, etc. He was being COURTEOUS to a fellow human being.

When I see this type of behavior by people, taking every little thing to heart and getting offended by every little thing they can find, it just ticks me off. And then these same people complain that people are rude nowadays. Sheesh. Why have manners when it's going to get shoved in your face?

Sorry... I'll get off my soapbox now. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:53am

Sort of along the same lines... my mom gets all bent out of shape when people address her as "Ms." She always says to me, "What happened to Miss or Mrs.? What's all this about?"


I explained it to her like this:



  • If you're married (and it's known), you're a Mrs.

  • If not, you're a Ms.

  • If you're a little girl or a teenager, you're a Miss.

I certainly don't want to be 45 years old and be "Miss Pooh".


In German, it works like this:


Frau means Mrs. AND woman. So an adult woman can be Frau whoever, regardless of her marital status.


Fraulein is Miss. So a little girl can be Fraulein Whoever.


And now, since I have a headache, I'm going to bed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:09am
There's so much confusion about the whole Ms. thing. I work in fundraising, and we always address women (married or no) as "Ms." even if we know they're married, unless requested otherwise. Ms., as far as I and we know, is meant to serve as a generic female title, which there never was before. I always request to be called Ms., I don't like the Miss or Mrs. thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:15am

I agree that the Ms. takes the confusion out of everything. Mr. applies to all men, from little boys to elderly men, and Ms. is the equivalent to that in my mind.

Does anyone else get annoyed when someone calls them "ma'am"? :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:36am
I think ma'am has become more generic, too, I get called ma'am and I look about 16, haha. :) I'm exagerrating, but not by much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:42am

I don't really like "ma'am" but I'll take that any day over "Hon."

I hate being called "Hon." My mother doesn't even call me "Hon."

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 12:35pm

I just looked them all up, because what you wrote is different from what I learned (and teach).


Mrs. is obviously married.


Ms. is "disregarding marital status."