Why do I bother?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Why do I bother?
21
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 3:37pm

Well, I had my first real date in six months last Tuesday. I was excited, because it was someone I actually met in REAL LIFE at a networking thing. I had been on a self-imposed dating break until I met this guy, and decided I was ready to get back out there again. It was the first time I had looked forward to a date in a long time.

We just met for a drink after work - had a nice time. There seemed to be enough interest there on both sides to warrant a second date. He asked me to send him my personal number (he only had my work info) at the end of the date. So, I e-mailed that the next day.

He didn't call. Then, he finally e-mailed last Friday to say he'd call. He didn't. I replied to the e-mail Monday. He replied yesterday and said he'd call last night. He didn't.

ARGH. Seriously, if he's not interested, why doesn't he just let it go? It makes me insane when guys say one thing and do another. It stinks to have someone get my hopes up and then dash them like that.

Thanks for letting me vent.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2006
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 4:18pm

{HUGS}
Guys can be such jerks sometimes. But look, maybe he got busy and he still intends on calling you. If he doesn't, he's not the last guy out there. There'll be plenty of others, believe me!

Good for you for getting yourself out there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 4:41pm

Thanks. I guess I feel like I've already gone out with plenty of "others." Not that I expected this guy to be the one, but I am really sick of dating a long series of men who don't work out. I feel like I've paid my dues, and it's high time for something to work -- at least for longer than a few weeks or months.

Eventually, it does work out for some people, right?

Just having one of those weeks, I guess. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 4:56pm

Hi Tallgirl,

...

Sorry, I responded to the wrong post!!

But I'll add - yeah, guys are flakes for the most part. I love them, but don't understand their reasoning.

You never know though. You may hear from him. Along with their flakiness, they also can't multitask. So if he's wrapped up in something, he's probably lost track of what day it is. Because they're like that apparently. :)




Edited 5/24/2007 5:01 pm ET by emdeesea
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 5:19pm

I suppose I should have added that he just moved to town a month ago, started a new business, bought a townhouse a couple weeks ago and still hasn't unpacked. Yes, he's definitely in the middle of a few things and very busy.

Ok - so maybe what I need in my life is a little more patience. I tend to be in short supply of that. :) I'm still not convinced he'll follow through, but I guess I won't write him off entirely. For now, I'm not sitting by the phone.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 8:54pm

> suppose I should have added that he just moved to town a month ago, started a new business, bought a townhouse a couple weeks ago and still hasn't unpacked<

Oh heck, well there it is then. His poor little brain is overwhelmed! :)

Yeah, give him time. He's got about 100 things on his mind at the moment. I'm quite sure you'll hear from him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 10:23pm
I could have written that post myself. I keep feeling like if this dating thing is a numbers game, then darn it, I'm due for my number to hit! So, my new motto for dating and basically life is "be still". I'm exhausted with dating so I am not going to try so hard anymore.
Good luck,
YG
Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 11:58pm
Being phone-phobic sucks. I know, because I'm like that. I ask for peoples' numbers (men and women equally). I never call. He might have such a curse. Then again, he might already be with someone. I don't know much about your situation, so I think I'll step out of it.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 1:36am

ahhhh.. the dating thing... giving you HUGS tallgirlcolo. As much as I want to NOT to have expectations (as my ex gf told me Expectations are premeditated resentments), I STILL would like to have someone in my life who does what she says. Right now I do have such a woman AND she is not into me .. Ahhhh the irony of life LOL!

When someone actually follows through then I am pleasantly surprised otherwise I don't believe them - male or female.

HUGs again,
Mark

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 11:25am

You know what, Mark?

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 12:24pm

I do not expect people to be liars per se. In my experience, when someone tells me that they will call me, more often than not, they do not call me. The areas I was thinking of are in the areas of follow-thru and making "commitments" which really are not commitments.

In my experience, it is more of the exception than the rule when someone does what they say they will do in the timeframe that they say they will do it in.

Mark

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