Why do I bother?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Why do I bother?
21
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 3:37pm

Well, I had my first real date in six months last Tuesday. I was excited, because it was someone I actually met in REAL LIFE at a networking thing. I had been on a self-imposed dating break until I met this guy, and decided I was ready to get back out there again. It was the first time I had looked forward to a date in a long time.

We just met for a drink after work - had a nice time. There seemed to be enough interest there on both sides to warrant a second date. He asked me to send him my personal number (he only had my work info) at the end of the date. So, I e-mailed that the next day.

He didn't call. Then, he finally e-mailed last Friday to say he'd call. He didn't. I replied to the e-mail Monday. He replied yesterday and said he'd call last night. He didn't.

ARGH. Seriously, if he's not interested, why doesn't he just let it go? It makes me insane when guys say one thing and do another. It stinks to have someone get my hopes up and then dash them like that.

Thanks for letting me vent.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 12:33pm

If you make a committment and don't follow through, that's still a lie.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 12:46pm

So I am curious, so every friend of yours does what they say they will do? Every business colleague/co-worker? Every relative? So when you say you won't perpetuate bad behavior, what do you do/say to these people?

I hold people accountable to what they commit to. I just find that most are sloppy in what they do with what they say they will do.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 1:03pm

>>So, my new motto for dating and basically life is "be still". I'm exhausted with dating so I am not going to try so hard anymore. <<

That's exactly how I've been for the last six months on my dating break. It's amazing how, once I get back out there, I am so easily overwhelmed and frustrated. I feel like it should be easier now that I have had so much practice. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 2:08pm
Sending hugs and good "dating vibes" your way. Dating is a process that's for sure, and can be very overwhelming. It takes a thick skin and a ton of patience. Sometimes it is easier not to date because you feel more at ease and at peace not having to worry about it. But unfortunately it's a necessary evil :-) I think it's great that you are getting out there and trying though. Maybe this guy will call you when things calm down, who knows. But like others have said, he's broken a couple of promises so might not be a good person to pursue something with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 3:26pm

>>he's broken a couple of promises so might not be a good person to pursue something with.<<

That's what I keep thinking. Whenever I make excuses or rationalizations for someone, it usually ends badly, so I might be better off just moving on from this guy altogether. It's just disappointing, because it is pretty rare to be truly jazzed about someone. I don't want to date just to date - I want to go out with people who really catch my interest and seem to be good matches.

There's another guy who is actively pursuing me. I met him in real life as well, which is the plus, but I am just not that excited about him. I'm trying to talk myself into going out with him because I *should* to get myself out there, but the motivation isn't really there.

Yes, it's a process. You're right - I know it. I am just easing back into the process and experiencing the usual growing pains that go along with that.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 3:28pm

Thanks, Mark. :)

What I like about this board is that we are all in this together. We all have our ups and downs, wins and disappointments. It helps to know that we can share those with each other.

Here's to all of us having more successes than losses as time goes on.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 6:12pm

Nope, they don't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 9:30am

There's a

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 11:42am
I think what makes dating harder as we get older is, the older we get, it's inevitable that we learn things along the way.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 05-26-2007 - 12:46pm

I completely agree.


It's the downfall of being the smarter sex.