why do I feel sad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2005
why do I feel sad?
3
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 7:59pm

Two yrs ago I went through a very heartbreaking divorce. Sometime later I fell for a guy that I knew while I was married. We had a brief fling before he got deployed overseas in 2004. The Marine promised that we would pickup where we left off once he returned. Well, 4 months into his deployment he erased me from his life. That killed me more then my divorce did.

Well, Jan. 05, I officially had a real boyfriend, who I thought was great. However, in June 05, we started to have problems. I thought he took things too seriously and he thought I took things too lightly.

This past month has been really bad for us, we've broken up about 3 times, but made up within 24 hrs later, so high school right?! I know!!! Well, last week after 9 months I received an email from the Marine, he just wanted to let me know he was back in the U.S.

Just hearing from him killed me and I broke down and told my boyfriend why I was so hurt. He claimed he understood and that was that. This past Wed. the Marine called me while my boyfriend was here. I answered the phone and spoke with the Marine for about 5 mins. My boyfriend went crazy,called me names,said I was planning to cheat on him and called off our relationship.

I explained to him that my intension was not to cheat on him, but I wanted and needed to talk to the Marine and just ask,"Why?" I explained to my boyfriend that I just wanted some closure. When my boyfriend stormed out my house it didn't bother me because I hated the way he spoke to me and I was somewhat tired of our relationship.

But, today I feel somewhat alone and really, really sad. I wrote the ex, apologized for hurting him and asked him to call me. 4 hours later, he hasn't. I feel so stupid now for writing.

Please tell me why am I feeling this way, I really wasn't happy w/ my ex. Why I am hoping that he will call and say he wants me back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2005
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 8:11pm

I think that we always want what we can’t have, that is a basic human trait. The grass always looks greener over the fence. I do that quite a bit. I look around and see people who look perfectly happy and wonder why I don’t have that. The sad truth is that most people put on a façade while out in public. The public face masks the true problems lurking beneath the surface. That has happened in my family many times over.

Only you can determine what you want out of life and how you choose to pursue it. There are no easy choices. There are no right or wrong answers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 9:49pm

First of all, "why" doesn't matter. Expecting someone to give you an answer as to why a relationship ended will never make you go "Oh, I get it, thank you for that valuable insight. I can move on with my life."

Secondly, don't give amyone that sort of control over your emotions.

I can assure you that this is not just a guys perspective, I have known many women that have called me three months after we broke up and said "Why......"

Peace.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 10:48pm

The real question is why would you put up with the drama?