why do looks matter so much to guys?
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| Mon, 08-27-2007 - 2:49pm |
I have posted on this board once before for advice on what to do when guys just don't go for you. Basically, Im almost 30 and although I think I have a lot to offer and have a lot of friends both guy and girl, I know I am not the "prettiest girl at the dance" to use that expression. Even when I asked my best friend who is always honest with me, she would not give me a straight answer. I dont blame her, im sure she felt bad. By the way its not a weight issue - I am actually pretty slim - I guess its just looks.
The last year or so has been very very hard for me because I see lots of friends settling down etc. or at the very least meeting people, while I pretty much am invisible to the oppposite sex. I try things like hair/makeup to improve my appearance but it hasnt gotten me any results. Its so hurtful when Im out and I see a cute scanning the room and Im passed over in a split second even when I think "wow maybe I look good tonight". I tried online dating a few times, but, you guessed it, as soon as I send a pic I never hear from the guy again.
Of course I know looks matter, but I dont know how to cope with it since its such a problem in my life.

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I wasn't going to get into this discussion, not because I don't think it's a worthwhile one, but because I think some people don't like to admit to it being true.
But I was thinking about it on my way to work this morning (I think about strange things when I'm driving).
>>but I don't think it explains why so many of us see dating profiles asking for "beautiful on the inside AND out"
"beautiful on the inside AND out" is PC for "beautiful on the out".
We know that, and that's why it's a red flag for men after arm candy.
I haven't had time to read all the replies you've already received but I think looks matter to guys AND GIRLS! You even said in your post that you noticed a "cute" guy... did you notice the non cute guys!?
It's just human nature - you gotta learn to deal with it and I think everyone settles for the best looking mate they can find (for the most part). I'd love to get me a Matt Damon - but he'd NEVER go for me - it's a fact of life! LOL
Good luck to you!
>>I'd love to get me a Matt Damon - but he'd NEVER go for me - it's a fact of life!
It's one of the biggest myths out there that good looking people only go for other good looking people. The people who seem to be more obsessed with looks are usually those who are not that good looking (or at all) themselves and have issues that go beyond looks.
Speaking of Matt Damon , what kind of a girl did he finally marry -- after dating hordes of Hollywood types ? An unknown bartender from a small Florida town whom most men would never have given a second look to (until now that is).
Edited 8/29/2007 11:00 am ET by capegirardeau
I may be young, but I'm actually really turned off by a girl who "tries" really hard to look "hot". I mean, sure I may look twice, but I'd never address them... I think everyone has their type, for me its usually the "cute" artsy girls. Sometimes friends think they are amazing, other times people dont get why I'm with them... but who cares...
To be honest though, girls skip over guys because they dont fit a specific mold as well, especially at my age (22). I am a cute guy, and I’m sure of this. I’m just a little chubby (not fat, I’m 5’9.5” 185lbs). But I defiantly get passed over sometimes based on the fact that I’m not an avid gym goer and such. This happens, and its not worth stressing over.
Its less about looks when a person I'm seeing meets my friends; its more about personality to be honest. I mean, if they cant get along with my friends, then whats the point of dating them at all?
“Hot” but b1tchy girls just arent worth the trouble.
But on another note, if I'm not attracted to a girl, I wont consider dating her. If you arent physically attracted to someone, then how could you be with them? This doesnt mean a girl is the "model type" but just attractive in my eyes.
I do have a theory though, guys and girls alike who are single well into their 30s and 40s and onward may just have too high of standards (unless they were divorced, or are just clueless about dating or something along these lines). Not saying they have to settle by any means, but just give someone who they are just somewhat attracted to a chance…
Physical attraction is key, but avoiding someone because they arent "hot" is just dumb.
>>I may be young, but I'm actually really turned off by a girl who "tries" really hard to look "hot". I mean, sure I may look twice, but I'd never address them... I think everyone has their type, for me its usually the "cute" artsy girls. Sometimes friends think they are amazing, other times people dont get why I'm with them... but who cares...
First of all, that's because you're normal, haha. :) And second of all, sounds like me. jk :)
Yeah, I have an easier time getting along with most guys (honestly, I'm difficult NOT to get along with) I meet than actually being attracted to someone, which is a little frustrating.
OK, I am going to sound crass and I apologize if I do, but here is an old favorite quote .
"Show me the most attractive/hottest girl you can find, and I will show you at least two men tired of f***ing her. "
>>“Hot” but b1tchy girls just aren't worth the trouble<<
Edited 8/29/2007 1:42 pm ET by capegirardeau
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