why do people always say.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
why do people always say.....
41
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 11:13pm

i got into a MOOD yesterday and starting thinking about this...


why do people always say "you'll find the right person eventually"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 4:40pm
What state do you live in? I'm in the washington D.C area. I'll go out with you if you like? oops were not suppose to ask out
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:26am

About that self fulfilling prophesy that you and many have mentioned. Do you thin it also works when thinking positively? I know I have definitely thought (and for a long time) that I will definitley meet someone great for me. But it hasn't happened it. Should self fulfilling prophesies work that way too or only on the negative.


Cause it seems like when you truly believe good things will happen, they don't always but when you truly believe in the bad, lots of times they do. How does that work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:29am

I also believe

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:30am
>>About that self fulfilling prophesy that you and many have mentioned. Do you thin it also works when thinking positively? I know I have definitely thought (and for a long time) that I will definitley meet someone great for me. But it hasn't happened it. <<

I do think it happens in the positive as well - but not always on the timeline that we would prefer.

I think remaining positive about the possibility leaves us open to the opportunity when it presents itself.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:38am

I get that. I just don't understand the philosophy that when you think negatively, it will be a definite, while if you think positively, its more of a maybe, it seems.


I know I've probably spent a good 15 years of my life thinking true love for me will be a definite but only in the most recent year or two am I having second thoughts about it and I hear people tell me that I will fall into the self fulfilling prophesy trap. So some of the negative or uncertain thoughts could so easily overshadow the years of positive ones? Just doesn't add up. You know what I mean?


I know the times when I dated and went in with high hopes and positive spirits, the end results were no different from the ones where I went in skeptical and not really thinking so highly. It just seems like there is more to these circumstances than just that. I guess

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:41am

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:45am

For me, having a lifelong partner is something I truly do hope happens. I do believe it would make my life richer - even if it might make things less simple at times.


I definitely do believe the same as you. I was only pointing out that its still possible to have a full life withougt a partner and many people on this board can attest to that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:48am

>>I know I've probably spent a good 15 years of my life thinking true love for me will be a definite but only in the most recent year or two am I having second thoughts about it and I hear people tell me that I will fall into the self fulfilling prophesy trap. So some of the negative or uncertain thoughts could so easily overshadow the years of positive ones? Just doesn't add up. You know what I mean?<<

Yes, I think I see what you mean. I have thought the same thing myself.

For me, I think it boils down not to the "magic" of positive thinking, but to attitude. I don't really believe that focusing my positive energy on something will make it come to be ( a la "The Secret"), but I do believe being excessively negative builds a wall around me, closes me off to the possibility of something good, and may actually prevent me from letting someone in who may turn out to be good for me. Also, negativity in general is very easily felt by others -- I think it keeps people at bay. Positivity (not the Pollyanna, naive kind - but genuine love of life) is attractive.


Whether or not thinking positively or negatively creates a result correlated to that thought pattern is less of an issue, in my mind, than the mindset that attracts people to you or repels them.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 11:55am

>>I get that. I just don't understand the philosophy that when you think negatively, it will be a definite, while if you think positively, its more of a maybe, it seems.


Maybe I'm not understanding what you're saying, but to me it seems more like when you want something SO badly and think about it all the time, it doesn't seem to happen as quickly, but if you forget about finding someone (or whatever), "someone" seems to suddenly materialize out of thin air.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 12:02pm

I was actually speaking more on the philosophy of a self fulfilling prophesy which Wikipedia defines as a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true. It seems like people alwas warn that if you believe negatively, it will happen, yet we all know that just thinking positively doesn't really alter the outcome as well. It seems to be weighed more heavily on negative thinking but lightly on the positive.