why do people always say.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
why do people always say.....
41
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 11:13pm

i got into a MOOD yesterday and starting thinking about this...


why do people always say "you'll find the right person eventually"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 5:51pm

As a guy who was in a BAD marriage for 18 years . . I say be careful, sometimes you get what you ask for! LOL What is they say . . .grass always looks greener? (-:


Happy is a state of mind you chose . . .single or attached, if you want to be unhappy you will find a way. (-:


We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 12:28am

>>Why are you going to get irritated? You can't handle opposing thoughts?


No, as I'm sure cape would tell you, I can certainly handle opposing thoughts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 12:57am
>> I said some encourage promiscuity,obscenity, indecency and profanity indirectly by encouraging people to stay single. right?



Sorry JM, I am going to ask you this but only out of utmost concern for your wellbeing. What chemicals have you been ingesting ? :)



Who's encouraging people to remain single ? And why ? Who's benefiting from people remaining single(other than the US Treasury ) ?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 1:11am

>> Happy is a state of mind you chose . . .single or attached





One of the profoundest truths to be uttered on this board. It should be printed, framed and hung on walls so it's the first thing people see when they step out of bed.



Happiness is a choice. People link happiness to unfulfilled desires, which only makes sure they are never happy (don't as ask me why, but they do). The moment a desire gets met, the goalpost of happiness moves and the pursuit of happiness continues.


Edited 9/15/2007 3:19 pm ET by capegirardeau
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 8:57am

Its so annoying isn't it???

I'm kind of a realist too and as optimistic of a person as I am I've been divorced for 8 years, I have been on countless dates since my divorce, I know what kind of prospect are out there and while I know mr. right can be RIGHT around the corner....lets just say I'm not going to hold my breath for fear of turning blue.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 10:16am


Happiness is a choice. People link happiness to unfulfilled desires, only to make sure they are never happy (Don't as ask me why but they do). The moment a desire gets met, the goalpost of happiness moves, and the pursuit of happiness continues.


**********


I agree with this, however in context of this discussion it is about belief and self talk and the values attached to it. I do not wake up every day of my life

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 3:47pm

<What chemicals have you been ingesting ?>


Same ones you have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 3:50pm

Are you arguing with me?! j/k


So you don't think my comments make sense, ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:31am

Hello everyone,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:06pm

I know exactly what you're talking about here. I struggle a lot with wondering if I'll ever meet someone and it drives me nuts. I'd rather know my ultimate fate on the subject- I'll never meet someone or I will. Then I could get on with my life already. I've been single for years and I hate that it bothers me. I am probably one of the younger people on this board, and I sometimes think maybe it's just that young guys are looking for something different than me- guys my age seem to be only really interested in easy women or supermodel/insanely beautiful women. Woe to the average, stable girl. I don't think I'm ugly, just normal. I'm not a stupid or clingy person. I'm easy-going, low-maintenance, and not a drama queen. Because I'm still young, I'm not entirely giving up on guys just yet or finding someone. I'm just frustrated because I never get noticed. And of course, that spills over into the fact that who is going to want to date you if they don't notice you first? I feel worthy of notice and worthy of a good guy, but it just gets reinforced to me that guys do not think so. I feel so overlooked and invisible all the time and I try so hard to not let it bring me down- that gets me nowhere. I like who I am, but sometimes being invisible hurts so bad.

All that talk of "it will happen someday" sometimes makes me angry because you really never do know if it will happen. I may very well never go through the process of being noticed, get married, and have the good and bad that goes along with that. I just feel like no one is giving me a chance. I think I've changed my way of thinking so that it's somewhere in the middle- not "it's never going to happen" and not "it will definitely happen". There are various problems with both ways of thinking that this board has already discussed. I just tell myself now that it's a possibility, not necessarily a probability or a certainty, and also not a definite negative. I think this best resolves my anxiety about the subject of being single so that I don't have to think I must have a man to be happy and also have hope at the same time.

It seems like much of the discussion on being single is either about women being single and hating it because they feel they need completion or about women who just love every aspect of being single. There's a huge middle area there that doesn't get discussed as much. What if you are comfortable with yourself and being with yourself but you don't like being single?

I resent feeling lonely, but I just can't seem to get over the feeling and move on with my life by myself. I think everything else in life I could handle not knowing, but not knowing if I will spend the rest of my life by myself, unseen and single is overwhelming sometimes. Sorry for the long post and thanks to those who actually read it..




Edited 9/18/2007 11:10 pm ET by brittiemonster