Why do people date with the

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2006
Why do people date with the
14
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 9:27am

intent to figure out if that person is "the one" on the first or second date?


What happened to dating as a fun thing to do to get to know each other. I dated a guy who on the second date was telling me he could see us long term and started grilling me on what my future plans were and would I want to live in the country or city, how did I feel about dividing household chores, etc.


My friends date and I hear them talking about all this crazy he's "he's the one, I just know it" after their second or third date. Does anyone date to have fun and keep busy, and if you meet a great guy then bonus for you!!???


I mean come on!! No wonder the dating scene is so messe up. You have those who have no intention of ever settling down and you have those who are on a marriage mission. Where did the fun and taking time to get to know each other go?


Talk about pressure LOL!!!


Amie


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Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 1:53pm

Now if only Mr. Right would just show up on our doorsteps and save us all this hassle!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 3:56pm

Ok, I am 29 and it officially is torture now, not just at 30!!! LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 11:04am

I suppose I'm the only one who used to time the dates with when the fridge was empty... that way I didn't have to cook or put out money for food and could put it off to another day.


And besides, you can try all sorts of restaurants that way!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 3:27pm
I used to go into a date head-on with the mindset, "is he the one!?" but after several failed relationships (that started out like "yes he's the one!") over a decade, I realized that the best way to get to know someone is to just have a laid back approach, have fun, and pass the time with someone to see if we are really compatible. I think it's kind of dangerous to go into it moving too fast. You end up with unrealistic impressions of people that way.
...Having said that, I can still say that I *am* looking for "the one", but my approach is different than you described.
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