why it's great to be single!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
why it's great to be single!!
60
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 2:43pm

Ok people. i just got out of a relationship, and I honestly don't know why it's good to be single...my friends keep telling me it's great - their stories don't support the arguement.

so let's come up with a list of reasons why it's great! (real ones)
(i live with roommates so...none of that long shower crap)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 4:52pm

<>

Again, these things are not black and white. It is good to be in a "perfect relationship," if such exists. It is also good to be happily single. It all depends on a particular person, his/her preferences and circumstances, the people they meet. The poster wanted to know why it is good to be single. Being in a "perfect relationship" also has its good sides. The trouble is that most relationships are not perfect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 5:43pm
Of course I have had some disappointing relationships in the past, but this does not color my views. I have also had great relationships that also affects how I think and feel. But I ultimately have not found "The One" for me yet. Until then, I will continue to be single and happy, because one day I will be a wife and mom with tons of responsibilities and look back at my single days with no regret. I want to appreciate them while I have them! Being single should not be a curse!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 5:51pm

"I'm sick of everyone complaining about how being single is SOOOOO horrible and has no upsides. That's crap in my mind, people who say that are simply upset and frustrated that they aren't in a relationship. "

While I understand where you are coming from, I do see that there are upside to being single, however, to me, the list of positives pales in comparison to the list of upsides that come with being in a loving relationship. For me, there is NO comparison; having someone that loves you and supports you is sooo much better than not.

And of course some of us are saying this cause we're mad we're not in relationships. We are just open enough to admit that we do feel the nature need or want for love and affection and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 7:24pm

Even for those who are forced to be dependent (disabled people date too), it can be a nice peace of mind to not have to deal with relationship problems. To me, just the basics of dealing are too much! And the fifty-fifty is NEVER a fifty-fifty. More like a 40-60 or (heaven forbid!) 80-20. What if both partners are ones who don't want to deal? The one who is nicer, and easier to use has to struggle to make it work until it falls apart.

You have a right to be a little selfish, when you're not in a relationship. You don't have to have "those talks" (communication has always been my weak suit...in ALL relationships). And having to change your eating habits...and forcing yourself to appease your mate. Try to be nicer, tolerate their habits and hobbies and all the things that they like and are like. None of those, you'll have to do, if you're single-and-loving-it.

And lastly (but certain not least), having more control over your finances is certainly a reason to stay single at least a little bit longer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 8:11pm
I agree that there are many upsides to being in a relationship. Hal was just comparing being single to the end of the earth. Every situation has upsides and downsides, pros and cons. I think that when we're single we need to have the attitude that it's actually a benefitial time in our lives and not some curse. It's all in perception and I think society reinforced that somehow being single is bad. I see this especially in smaller towns...if you're in the big city and a successful business woman it's considered independant and solid. If you're in a smaller town people seem to think you have nothing going for you and can't find anybody.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 9:51pm

Kcol,

What a great post!

I'll add to the list:
I once went to macy's with a married friend of mine and she was looking at a $30 bag that she wanted. She ultimately put it down because she couldn't buy it without asking her husband first, since she didn't work and they were on a budget. I'm not extravagant, but I'm used to being able to buy something I want. Having to answer to anyone else would be very hard!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 3:38am

I wasn’t comparing being single to the end of the earth. I was using an analogy to explain that you can make any reason appear good depending on your perspective. Some of the “great” reasons people have given for being single are (imo) in comparison to being in a bad relationship rather than judging single on its own merits. To use another analogy, it would be like asking, “What is great about being Unemployed?” You could say that you don’t have to get up in the morning, you don’t have to drive through peak hour traffic, you don’t have to answer to a boss and you can do whatever you want everyday. To a shiftless slacker these are all good enough reasons to be unemployed and remain unemployed. However to most people these are only short-term benefits in light of a current (and unwanted?) predicament. Most people would prefer to be employed but if you asked them, “What is great about having time off work?” you will find the reasons given are almost identical to being unemployed, but I doubt any of them would actually quit a job they enjoy for those reasons.

I’m single and enjoying it. I don’t dream of meeting the right woman and being in a relationship. I could be viewed as the shiftless slacker when it comes to relationships. I can’t identify with many of the reasons given, discounting the fact they refer to relationships with the opposite sex. I’ve never experienced them in any of the relationships I’ve been in and I doubt the women I’ve dated could say they have either. They seem more specific to experiences in a particular relationship rather than generic reasons for being single. Imagine a group of single women who have never been in a relationship reading this thread. They would think men are messy control freaks. Would a woman who has experienced abuse in every relationship say that not being kicked, punched or insulted are good reasons for being single?

IMHO: One of very few common denominators between a good relationship and bad is time. That is the reason I like being single. Not having to share or plan my time with another person is one of very few *great* reasons for being single. But it’s enough for me to want to remain single.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 9:56am
This doesn't seem like an example of why it's great to be single but why its great to be financially independent, which I can attest is great.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 10:15am
i guess the point is that it's an example of freedom and independence and not having to answer to anyone. Whether it's right or wrong, it happened to be a moment in my life when I thought I'd rather be single than married and not in control of my own money, decisions, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 11:54am

"* I know that one day I will be married, so I can relax and really ENJOY being single"

How do you know? I don't know? My mother never met the 'right' guy.

A lot of your reasons, (near the bottom) sound as though you are speaking from the perspective of a live-in partner....I'm not so much. Not saying they are bad reasons...I just can't relate to them since i've never had that.