why it's great to be single!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
why it's great to be single!!
60
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 2:43pm

Ok people. i just got out of a relationship, and I honestly don't know why it's good to be single...my friends keep telling me it's great - their stories don't support the arguement.

so let's come up with a list of reasons why it's great! (real ones)
(i live with roommates so...none of that long shower crap)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 5:06pm

<< Now do I have my moments still of getting down because I am alone? Absolutely. But being single does not devastate me anymore and I find now that I don't worry about it and I am more happy with everything in my life. I am just HAPPY. And you know what? I have been dating more. I have been attracting better guys (of course there were some jerks, too. They still exist) and I was having more fun! Once I made the decision that being single was not so bad, I got a new view on life and I began to enjoy my life as it is. AND in turn, being single did not bother me anymore. I really feel that too many of us singles, put too much pressure on other people to make us happy. We need to fill that ourselves. Nobody can do that for us. It has to come from within. >>

Yes, that's exactly what I meant! Thanks for explaining what it means to be happily single!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 5:59pm

I am single.
I don't have to smell anyone elses farts.
I don't have to pick up after anyone else but myself.
I do not have to cook for more than one.
I can date more than one guy a week and love every minute of not being tied down to one guy.
I can let the machine catch the calls when i do not want to answer it.
I can leave the house without having to tell my mate what time i should be back, and be late coming home without getting interogated with 20 questions and end up in a "YOUR CHEATING ON ME" argument.
I don't have to share my bank account or paycheck.
I can watch any program on tv without giving the remote a "New York second clicking workout".

I enjoy being able to sleep single in a double bed.
Single doesn't mean the end of the world. It means I am comfortable with myself and value my privacy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:07pm
this is a friend of mine, and i respect her way of life. it's not what i want for myself. i don't need to be lectured on partnership and marriage. there's probably another board where you can do that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 3:14am

>Yes, exactly, in order to be in a mutually rewarding
>and respectful relationship, people first need to develop
>their own sense of individuality, to find and establish
>themselves as persons and individuals

In other words, 'single' is only a temporary condition that you must learn to like or you will never be happy in a relationship. Fair enough, here is my updated list for why being single is great:

-I don't have to listen to a constantly nagging female voice

-I can watch whatever I want on TV

-I don't have to answer stupid questions like, "Honey, does this make me look fat?" or "Honey, does this make my bum look big"

-I can check out hot babes whenever I go out

-I can download and watch as much pornography as I want

-I can have sex without having to say "I love you"

-I can leave the toilet seat up

-I can have my socks professionally darned

-I can leave my underwear and socks in the kitchen sink to soak overnight

-I can fart and burp out loud

-I can play my Xbox for as long as I want

-I can practise piano for as long as I want

-I don't have to constantly reassure her of my love

-I don't have to ask her how her day was and pretend to be interested

-I don't have to hug her after sex

-I can visit strip clubs

-I can ogle gorgeous skinny babes on TV without her getting self-conscious

-I don't have to waste money on flowers

-I don't have to call her

-I don't have to spend time with her irritating friends

-I don't have to play with her hair

-I don't wake up to her morning halitosis

-I don't have to spend time doing the boring things that interest her

-I don't have to remember any of the things she likes

-I don't have to spend hours shoe shopping with her

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 10:33am

<< In other words, 'single' is only a temporary condition that you must learn to like or you will never be happy in a relationship. >>

As always, you got your conclusions wrong (how did you pass that Mensa test anyway, heh... No offense!). I wrote that one's chances of being happily in a relationship are greater if one is able to be happily single, if he has developed his self-identity. Never did I write that being single is necessarily a temporary condition--that depends on every person, his/her preferences and circumstances (why do I feel like a third grade teacher writing this?).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 2:30pm

>I wrote that one's chances of being happily in a
>relationship are greater if one is able to be happily
>single, if he has developed his self-identity.

How exactly does this fit in with the topic - "Why it's great to be single?". Surely you can see the implication of what you have written? Maybe I should rephrase what I'm saying to make my point clearer:- What are the *great* things one can only do when they are single which can help them develop the self-identity necessary to be "happily single"?

(Don't bother replying if you are going to resort to 3rd grade ad hominem attacks again)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 3:22pm

<< How exactly does this fit in with the topic - "Why it's great to be single?". >>

How does it fit with the topic? Well, without having the chance of being single, people would have no opportunity to develop their self-identity. That's why it is great if they have this chance to be single for while. Whether they continue remaining single or find somebody later on, that is up to them.

<>

Or happily in a relationship, I might add--again, that is up to that person. What these things are that people can do only when single--developing a sense of oneself as an individual. Being able to be alone with oneself and not constantly demand somebody's attention to feel complete. Being responsible for things like one's finances, managing one's own life, cleaning, cooking, etc. Establishing clear boundaries of a self, which would not necessarily be there if somebody comes straight from their parents' home or other communal living arrangement, into partnership or marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 4:28pm
I agree with your points but they seem more like important reasons to experience being single & independent before getting into a relationship. What do these people have to look forward if that relationship ends? Basically, why are so many people keen to escape singledom if it is great? Internet dating sites wouldn't be booming if being responsible for things like one's finances, managing one's own life, cleaning and cooking is so exciting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 4:39pm

And if marriage was always so great, then 60% of married and "taken" men would not be on those dating sites, either. And there would not be more then 50% off all failed marriages.

There was a study on 20/20 that stated that 60% of men on those dating sites are not being honest with thier profiles, as most of them are not actually single to begin with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 5:15pm

>60% of married and "taken" men would not be on those dating sites

This seems to suggest that 60% of married and "taken" men are unhappy with their relationships but still don't want to be single.