why it's great to be single!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
why it's great to be single!!
60
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 2:43pm

Ok people. i just got out of a relationship, and I honestly don't know why it's good to be single...my friends keep telling me it's great - their stories don't support the arguement.

so let's come up with a list of reasons why it's great! (real ones)
(i live with roommates so...none of that long shower crap)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:57pm

<< Basically, why are so many people keen to escape singledom if it is great? Internet dating sites wouldn't be booming >>

Many people on these sites are also just looking to have some fun, social interaction, flirting and casual relationships. And I still believe that if one doesn't know how to be happy when single, he will also not be happy when in relationship.

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 3:44pm

And I join these sites just for social interaction. This world is a lonely place. No wonder so many people look for friendships online.

And also, I think a good portion that join these sites are just looking to get laid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 12:42pm

"And also, I think a good portion that join these sites are just looking to get laid."

Exactly! Most of the men on these sites are NOT looking for June Cleaver and the white picket fence. They want to get their rocks off and are just not having any luck IRL(Usually for very good reasons.) LOL

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 1:17pm

Actually, there are a few sites just donated to hooking up and getting laid. And a great many are women. I think there are a surprising lot of women who are sleazy enough to do just that--just not as many as women who have some self-respect!

But I used to be one of those. Not anymore. The same thing horny men don't want to happen to to women they want happened to ME. Another one bites the dust, eh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 4:05pm

I think it could happen to any of us. I have one friend who has given up on finding a good man and has two men she "hooks up with." I don't judge her. We all have to define our own reality.

I echo the thoughts expressed here previously. Sure, most of us would love to find someone great to share our lives with. I haven't given up on that. But, unless I can find the real deal, i.e., someone I'm crazy about who enhances my life, I will stay single. I have a great life, and don't want to be with someone who drags me down. Unfortunately, not everyone does find that person. Many, many people settle for various reasons. I think what most of us are saying here is given the choice between being a fulfilled single or being in a lousy relationship, guess what? We'll stay single.

Bottom line is, you can do online and speeddating and blind dates until hell freezes over, but the fact is we have very little control over finding someone we love. It's numbers games, yes, but there is definitely an element of luck and serendipity involved, too. Seen it way too many times among people I know not to believe that.

If a person spends their life feeling inferior and unhappy about being single, it guarantees you a state of perpetual misery. And miserable people are NOT attractive....except to certain types of people who don't understand the concept of two healthy, happy people getting together. We've all met those types, and dated them as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 6:11pm

1) you can go to bed anytime you want, you can even fall asleep on the sofa with the tv and lights on without anybody hassling you, (even if it's for your own good).
2) you can drink/eat whatever you want when you cook at home, you can make it as spicy as you like or just snack on fruit + chips and salsa if you like
3) you can take long 2 1/2 hour tub baths and read a novel at anytime of the day or night without anyone wondering how long you're going to be in the tub
4) you can make last minute plans or change plans at the last minute, such as coming home from the gym or work and going out to eat or eating leftovers at home
5) you can stretch out on the sofa all to yourself
6) you can make plans with any group of friends without having to worry about your significant other's schedule or his level of interest
7) you can do all your favorite things you want whenever you want, ie, go and see that foreign film on a weeknight, go dancing every Friday, etc.
8) you can leave the dishes in the sink for days and no one will do them or make you feel guilty for leaving them there
9) you can leave the laundry unfolded for days on the sofa
10) you can sleep in whenever you want or go to bed as early or late as you want, including taking naps whenever you want

Is that a good enough starting set of reasons why you should be happy to be single?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 6:15pm
wait, I had a very happy relationship, but....he didn't want to make it permanent after 3+ years. So, now after 2 years of trying to put him back in my life on a more serious level than friendship, I realized it's not worth it. And, the sacrifices I would have to make, although they were few and the rewards were many, still, it just wasn't worth it, since I'm so happy and single now (finally).
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 7:22pm

<< But, unless I can find the real deal, i.e., someone I'm crazy about who enhances my life, I will stay single. I have a great life, and don't want to be with someone who drags me down. Unfortunately, not everyone does find that person. Many, many people settle for various reasons. I think what most of us are saying here is given the choice between being a fulfilled single or being in a lousy relationship, guess what? We'll stay single. >>

I absolutely agree! Well said.

<< It's numbers games, yes, but there is definitely an element of luck and serendipity involved, too. Seen it way too many times among people I know not to believe that. >>

This is so true!

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 8:38pm
I feel the same. I'm mostly comfortable being alone. Still, there's that little part about me that aches for companionship. But I'd rather settle for nothing, than settle for less. There are things more important than my relationship status. I consider myself one of the lucky few women who aren't so hung up on finding someone to share their life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 11:59am

I'm late chiming in, as usual.

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