Why must I represent for the singles yet again?!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Why must I represent for the singles yet again?!!!
22
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 3:13pm

I just need to vent. My friend's birthday party is this weekend and I thought she was doing girls only. No she's doing couples. Her husband, all their married friends, and another of our engaged couple friends! Who's the odd, always single man out? Me of course!

I'm so sick of this! Why do I always have to freaking carry the single cross? I'm ready to put it down. Even Jesus had someone come along to help him carry his cross on the way to calvary. I've been the single one so many times (from college, to newly working girl, to more established woman, to 40 in 60 or so days) and I'M SICK OF IT! Why is it so hard for me to meet someone who can actually be in a relationship? The one guy I would ask to go with me of course, has to be working out of state for two months and he's nowhere near here so I've got to put on the brave face (I, of course will look flawless doing it) and smile while all the couples talk about their couple stuff and dance together.

I'm trying to tell myself that I'll be free to mingle and meet all kinds of men, but the fact is, there are never any there to meet. I guess I'll entertain myself chatting up some loser or gay dude. I HATE THIS GARBAGE!

Pages

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

IMO you values and priorities are mixed up.  Why is it even important to have a relationship?  You harm yourself if that is written on your sleeve.  Having someone to go with you to these events?  Really?  I have been single and have no worry about going to weddings etc.  I go have a good time and go home.  Before you are truly ready for a relationship one must have come to grips with yourself.  The first person you must love is yourself.  Be selfish.

chaika

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Xxxs, just because someone wants a relationship, that doesn't mean their priorities are messed up. We aren't all like you and just want sex. Don't tell someone they're wrong for feeling something just because you don't. That's rather disrespectful.

I completely understand the frustration of wanting a great guy and not finding one, even though everyone around you seems to have. I'm at 5.5 years single now. I'm starting to really think there are no good guys left, and I'm always the hopeful one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012

Really?  We all know you only want sex and nothing more.     I want sex and something more as do a lot of us here.   Sure, we can all have ONS but you are off the mark here.

Stop trying to  get us all to live in the world you want....  Be happy where you are and accept that some of us want more.

You are a manwhore and that's ok.  

I can't stand your POV     Its disgusting unless you are under 25

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I know how you feel.  A couple of years ago a good friend of mine had a party and I was almost the only single person there.  It wasn't as bad as I thought since it was a house party & the married couples get sick of talking to each other so it ends up that the women talk & then the men talk separately, so it was fun but still kind of awkward for me.  I just think that married people tend to hang out in couples a lot.  Your friend doesn't want to leave you out cause she's your friend and maybe she just doesn't know a lot of single people but I think sometimes that people should be more sensitive to that--no one wants to be the only single person in a large group of couples.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 9:20pm

'You know me so ervry thing you said has no bearing.  IMO I hit a nerve. 

chaika

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 9:26pm

I never asked you to live in my world.  So where is that coming from?  You don't know me either.  Wanting more give me a break I an not the one name calling.  It is a big world out there and many lives not made up to be PC.  I hit a nerve eh?

P.S.  personalizing attacks is against TOS.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005

That is totally a pain, I know!  Especially when you want to be in a couple, and you're single but surrounded by them.  Of course, they may not all be great relationships, but still.

I was recently invited to a dinner party where I knew I'd be the only single person, but the host told me I could invite anyone.  So I brought along a friend who I knew would appreciate meeting new people.  I am not suggesting at all that this is a replacement for bringing a date emotionally, but, if you do know someone who might have fun out that night, I'd say invite them along!  It worked out well for me to go "with" someone and my friend really appreciated the invite.

 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
You didn't hit a nerve, in the way you mean. I'm just really sick of narrow-minded views, and your view is very narrow. I accept that you just want sex and won't judge you for that. You need to be willing to accept that others think differently than you do and not tell them they are wrong for reacting or feeling differently than you would. It's especially important in a women's message board on a website designed for women. The OP is new, and your response could very well run her off and make her think we're all that insensitive.
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 08-23-2012 - 9:58pm

  People who assume that everyone wants the same thing but in truth they don't.  It is always a matter of degree.  But when alludes to the value of their existance is getting a "relationship" then there is something amiss. 

P.S.  Yes for me sex is important.  Not the only thing but up there.  :smileywink:

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012

Lulu, I know exactly what you´re talking about. At 35, I do feel extra vulnerable being all by myself amongst couples only. Which means most of the time in more formal social gatherings. And soon it will happen again. I am maid of honour for a friend of mine in November, and I already know there will be only couples at the party..... I just hope that I will enjoy the party and not get stuck alone or with some boring person to talk to all night.... I will do my very best to have fun! :-)

Just to let you know you´re not alone out there.... There are so many of us who would love to be in a relationship, and then I mean a good one!

Pages