Why OH Why!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Why OH Why!!!!!
33
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 10:36am

Why is it that when a guy is pursuing you and you finally start showing interest back, they suddenly lose interest?

Why is it that a guy will ask to see you/hang out/get to get together, yet soon as you give them the ok/your available days/ask them out, they don't return your message?

Why do guys lose interest after sex?

Why do guys lose interest within 2-3 months?

Why are guys not interested in dating these days?

Why don't many men take much interest in a woman's mind or feelings?

Why don't most guys feel anything ever?

Why don't most guys care?

Why are so many guys so emotionally voidant?

Why can't I attract a guy that cares (instead of guys that pretend to care then reveal that they really don't).

Why is it that a man can have such a great relationship with his mom and sisters, yet not have any respect or courteous to every other woman in the world?

Why are so many guys content with emotion-less sex?

I dont't expect answers and I'm of course making huge, sweeping generalizations here. I just needed to get that off my chest. Cause here I am after initiating messages with 2 so-called interested guys 3 days ago and no response from either. I'll bet both will coming calling late on Friday to see what I'm up to and that will be too daggone late.

Why! Why! Why!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 10:57am
I hear ya completely on this. I wonder the same things myself. It gets old, frustrating and I just get plain tired of it period. Maybe it's just that you've unfortunately met the guys over and over again that are not relationship material. One of these days the right one will come along for you and it's just that right now you are just frustrated, over and done with dating and I know how you feel. Just keep hanging in there and maybe just take a break from dating so you can regroup and take care of yourself again. Sometimes it just gets to be too much for our emotions and for us to handle and we just need a break.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:02am

I think that this is subjective and not true for everyone. In my experience, it isn't the men who are chasing but the women, with the men picking and choosing and throwing back the ones they don't want. Sure, there are exceptions to everything but I personally feel that I am left little choice. Men do not pursue me, chase me and rarely initiate dates with me. If I want a man I am left to go after him and hope he picks up and begins to pursue me back. But often times, he has his choice of me and many other women and I am left to decide to continue to pursue, chase another guy or remain dateless.

Again, just my experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:10am
Too add. I honestly think that it just gets harder the older you get because as we get older (not to say that we are old but you know what I mean) we have had more disappointing experiences and more scars from previous relationships and dating so we are more cautious going into things. Maybe these men who are so afraid of pursuing you are afraid of getting let down just like we are, who knows. Maybe they have a lot of fear and issues and are having a hard time with dating. I just wish that people were more open with each other in letting each other know those fears especially if they like someone. It's just hard though to communicate such things sometimes.
It's difficult, I know, hugs to you. Hopefully we'll all figure it out one of these days and we won't be on this board anymore lol.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:11am

Did ya read the table of contents?


That book should be titled "How to Get Women to Have Sex With You", which is exactly what the OP was complaining about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:22am

>That book should be titled "How to Get Women to Have Sex With You"
>which is exactly what the OP was complaining about. Men who want
>to have sex, but don't want a relationship.

So what you are saying is that unsuccessful men keep getting into a relationship and need help from a book like this to stop that from happening? Why don't you try reading it again shy..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:31am
Wow, that is totally different than where I'm from. Most of the famles I have come in contact never seem to pursue a guy. Very interesting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:33am
My friend who likes me but I'm not that attracted to (we've been honest with each other and talked about this) is an amazing man really. He's a black man and he has it all going for him. He's funny, intelligent, caring, open-minded, a great conversationalist and emotionally available and can communicate. I'm hoping that maybe I'll just naturally fall in love with him because I just admire really everything about him, but if that doesnt' happen he definately deserves a wonderful woman and he is a catch. But I do find myself thinking of him quite a bit sometimes so who knows.....Just wanted to let you know that black men like this do exist out there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:47am

>Most of the famles I have come in contact never seem to pursue a guy

I agree. They are usually very good at getting what they want and are rarely disappointed. None of these women complain to me about men. In fact, I have often gone to them for advice about women. It's a man's world when it comes to dating…..That is hilarious!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 11:56am

Case in point (and one reason I am so livid this week) there are two guys I've been seeing for awhile now. Both expressed interest in getting together this week. One I was IMing with Monday night for a long while and wanted to do something on Weds. That didn't work so he agreed that we would talk again in a day or so (this was Monday). I then sent him an email on Tuesday letting him know that I am definitely available Thurs. or Fri.

No response and no word. And he was online last night!!!

The second guy (Mr. Alleged Insecure and Shy) emailed me on Tuesday to say he had an "amazing time on Friday" and wanted to know what my plans are for the rest of the week. I emailed him right back and let him know that I was available to get together again either Thurs. or Friday.

No response and no words despite the fact that he's been on Myspace all week and responded to one of his friends' comment.

So here is it Friday afternoon, I have initiated things with two so-call interested guys and not one had the courteousy to respond within what I consider reasonable time.

But I can bet you I will hear from at least one later tonight, after they have finished their set plans or realized they didn't have any to see if I will be down for getting together last minute.

Both of them can f*ck off and will not hear a peep out of me. I am tired of having to chase, pursue or initiate everything!!!

(vent over)

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cl214
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 12:18pm

No, Hal. What I was saying is exactly what I wrote.