Will Meetup.com kill online dating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Will Meetup.com kill online dating?
11
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 2:20am

A couple of weeks ago, a good option opened up for me... a meetup group for singles which isn't about hanging around in bars. The people at the group's 1st potluck were all really cool and easy to talk to (there were more than 40 people there), even for someone like me who needs a little breaking through. I'm definitely going to their after-Christmas bash. The organizer is one smart dude... he knows what's hip. He could tell right away that I need a woman who's not afraid to make the 1st move (and FYI I never cared for submissive women).

And... before that, in my infinite wisdom, I took over 3 dying meetup groups for singles from organizers who didn't want to run them anymore... I merged them into one group and after the holidays I'm going to re-structure it into a group called Singles Who Make Things and see if that flies.

The bottom line... my profile is still on PoF, but to me it's on the back burner. If the women on PoF aren't interested in me just because I look fat in my pics, well I'm not going to feel gypped because that's not my loss. I've learned you don't need to pursue a catch if you can BECOME a catch.

Then out of the blue a couple days ago, I get an e-mail from the guy who organized the potluck, saying that some casting agent is looking for people who are in a dilemma of some sort... so after a bit of voice mail ping pong, I explained to the agent that I'm currently going through more of a bottleneck than a dilemma (to wit, cleaning up my house and property and taking on 3 new jobs)... my only real dilemma is whether I should start dating before I'm done dumping all my old baggage. She said she'll let me know whether my situation is appropriate for their show... especially since 44-yo male virgins are not exactly growing on trees, if you catch my drift. :smileyvery-happy:

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 9:50am
I don't think meetups will take over at all. There are plenty of lazy and/or married people out there to keep it going. The anti-social will still use it to meet pen pals and married people will still use it as an easy way to find a hookup.

I wish there had been a singles meetup here ten years ago when I moved here without knowing anyone. My social life is okay right now so I probably wouldn't use it now, but back then I needed something like that desperately. All there was here was cultural stuff and knitting groups for seniors. I really wondered if there were any single people here at all!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 11:33am

Wow, you really have a cynical view of OLD, Shywon--I can't say that it's always perfect but I have several friends who have met their BFs (and we're talking serious BFs here) through OLD--so obviously it works for some people.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 11:50am
I'm not saying all people who use dating sites are that way. Just that there are enough of them to keep it alive.

I don't have a good opinion of it, though. I think it works for the very beautiful really well, and for the rest of us it's just luck if someone happens to click.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 12:24pm

Speaking

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 12:32pm
I agree with Shy. These are two different niches, in my opinion. I think sites like Match are are going to be around for the duration.

I haven't tried it out myself, but an acquaintance of mine just started going to meetup events a couple of months ago. She just got out of a very LTR and meetup has helped her tremendously. She hasn't made any love connections, but it's gotten her back out there and she's made a few friends.

Glad you are having such a good go of it! Keep us posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 4:32pm

Isn't it also luck if you join some kind of meetup group, go to a bar or a singles dance & hope to meet someone?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 4:37pm
But at least in real life, you're not judged solely on your looks. Body language, attitude, and everything else that makes us unique are also apparent. Online, we know men judge us from our pictures and that's it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 7:20pm

One thing about Meetup.com that I can't be certain of with OLD is whether the person with a profile is really a woman, or just some guy who posts fake profiles to make the site seem 50-50. There are no background checks when you join OLD to make sure you are who you say you are, and last September I actually met a guy who had run a bunch of fake dating sites for 3 years, he told me how he did it... and he was raking in a couple thousand a month from all his crooked sites. That's generally impossible to do in Meetup groups.

And then there are the trolls...those guys would never show their faces at singles meetups, for obvious reasons.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 8:20pm

I definitely think real life is preferable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 9:01pm

All I can say is what about a balance between everything.. A little bit of meet up , a little bit of OLD, a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

You know all in moderation folks..

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