Will one of you please just slap me before I do something stupid?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Will one of you please just slap me before I do something stupid?
11
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 11:25pm

I'm longing to do somethig stupid: I want to send an email to the guy who decided to stay with wife while she recovers, just to tell him I miss him so he doesn't forget me and so that if he gets over her and the too-dependent kid, he'll come back to me. All the men I've met in the last few weeks are just sooooo dull.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011

Yeah, dammit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Marina90292 wrote:

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011

A good friend was in town today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005

I think the problem here wasn't that you sounded needy. You sounded like a woman who was in love and who's suffering, it's not needy, it's normal. I would write something similar and I did, with my ex lol.

The problem is that it wouldn't change anything. When a person is not ready to be with us, nothing you say will change it. He doesn't sound very emotionally healthy anyway. And if one day, things don't work out with the wife, if it meant something for him, he'll remember without your reminders. If he doesn't, then he's not worth it anyway.

You deserve better !

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

I remember when I always wanted to talk or go back with my mental issued ex husband.. but instead I would write like crazy in a journal everyday and what I wanted to tell him which was futile I wrote and wrote in that journal.. After awhile I had no desire to go back with him or speak to him until I healed and got to be a whole person again..

Journaling is probably the best thing to do when you want to get back with someone who is not quite right. XXS said it right. No contact is best until you heal up..

Oh; I know the pain of lonliness cause I feel it alot and that is why you feel bad at night.. Its just normal feelings and we want someone to love us and to cuddle and all of that.. Just cry it out .. You know I was thinking the only person that is there for me and wont let me down is ME.. I can take myself out and have fun.. I can take care of me and yes its lonely and sad and yes it would be great to have a relationship but people let us down; men let us down, friends let us down. the world lets us down. But know who doesnt let us down? Our true selves..

Hang In Marina

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011

Thanks everyone. Shy, thanks for your nightmare - it saved me from being needy with him.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

No don't send it.

chaika

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
I was thinking what Music wrote, but I was afraid to use those words, LOL. However, it would look needy and desperate. Plus, I really don't think you would feel any different - it may even make you feel worse if, like shy indicated, you don't get the response you expect. If you've shown him half of what you've shown us, I'm sure he knows exactly how you feel. Allow yourself to mourn for a couple of weeks, then try to pull yourself up by the boot straps and forge ahead. I know it's easier said than done but keep telling yourself that it's a choice and you don't have to accept that you are going to be miserable about it forever. Hugs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I hope it was cathartic to write this out, but you know you shouldn't send it, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011

OK, Shy, with your permission, here's what I'd REALLY like to say to him via email:

(PS - I don't expect any of you to actually READ this, but it's cathartic to write.

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