Will you ask?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Will you ask?
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 12:09pm

I'm just wondering what everyone thinks about asking a guy out for the first time.

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 12:49pm
I've done it twice...the first time I was in high school and a friend locked me in a car with a guy I liked to make me talk to him. It turned out that he had a girlfriend and I was terribly embarrassed. Believe it or not, the friend who locked me in the car is still a friend and I still blame her for my hesitance to ask men out.

The second time was a few months ago (remember the cop???). While that guy didn't mention having a girlfriend, he did make an excuse, which, while not a direct rejection, made it clear that he didn't intend to go out with me.

I seriously doubt I'll be asking a guy out again any time soon!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 1:25pm
I will not but in an online dating situation I will say at the end of the phone call- well if you are interested in meeting I am - to me that's not asking out for a date. In college I asked one guy out and was rejected. Since then - none - I am 99% sure my future husband is going to do the asking for the first date so I am comfortable with not doing the asking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 2:04pm
Nope. I am shy and somewhat traditional when it comes to dating. I don't see a problem w/other people asking guys out, but it's just not for me. The closest I've come to asking a guy out was just after college, I had a really hot neighbor and I left a note on his car windshield giving him my phone #. He never called. Oh, and with online dating, I will initiate contact w/guys, but after that I let him pursue - ask for my number, ask me out on a date, etc.

I agree w/Deena - I also am pretty certain that my future husband will ask me out for our first date. :-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 4:59pm
If a man is interested ENOUGH, he'll ask; if he's not, he won't.

And if he's not interested ENOUGH, I don't need him.

End of story.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 5:55pm
I have a different perspective.

I met my current bf while at work. We are both professionals and were work for different companies. The two companies often work together on projects. We spent several days working together on a project (in a group with several others from our respective companies). It was clear that the two of us had a similar sense of humor and we "clicked." After the project was over, I made a mental note of how much I enjoyed his company and wished that we had met under different circumstances. A month down the road, the project we were working on fell apart (for a variety of outside reasons). I called him that day and asked him if he was interested in getting a drink after work. He agreed immediately and we met that night for a drink. It was clear that we were on a date. He paid for the drink and we ended up going to dinner as well. The next day he called to tell me what a great time he had, how glad he was that I called and asked me out for that weekend. A year later - I'm very happy.

I do think my situation was unique - 1) he did all of the "pursuing" after my first call and 2) it was a work situation and I think men are more gun shy about asking women out in that situation. He continually says how lucky he is and how happy is that I called.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Tue, 09-30-2003 - 6:39pm
I was crazy in high school and I did a lot of asking guys out. It took me a pretty long time to realize that it just didn't work. This isn't from experience or anything, but I'm pretty sure that if he's interested, he'll do the asking and you don't even have to think about it.