Women and flirting

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Women and flirting
75
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:39pm

So theres a thread on here about how a lot of you women shut down or become intensely shy when you see a guy you like or are attracted to and dont know how to act...

If I remember correctly someone wrote about how they would aviod their crush in a social setting with other people...another one said that she smiles and then doesnt do anything after that.

I am confused...

A lot of girls smile at me and a lot of girls aviod me so should I pursue those ones?
I am being sarcastic but I do have a genuine question to the females here...

How do I pick up on when a woman likes me so I can approach her or continue to talk to her or try to flirt or whatever. I would just like to know so I dont make a fool out of myself like I seem to do sometimes with women.

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:49pm

You won't really know until you actually approach her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 2:37am

I have asked this type of question before and I can tell you the answer is this: Women don't know much about flirting. If you doubt me, ask this question: "What does it mean when a woman "

You will get many different answers, most of them starting with "It COULD mean ". Ultimately you will be coerced into finding out for yourself what the woman meant when she by asking her out, or calling etc.




Edited 4/24/2006 2:40 am ET by hal_9000
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 4:49am

Ok well I have a good example to use from this past weekend.

I went out this past weekend and saw this girl who was simply gorgeous. She was amazing! I saw her and I probably had my mouth hanging open and my eyes were wide or something like that because I had not seen a woman this attractive in a long time.

I said to myself "she is either with a guy or stuck up" and I knew that even if neither of those were the case I had no shot with her. I could not take my eyes off of her. The more I watched her the more I was attracted to her. I watched her and she was psychically attractive yes, but I saw her smile and her laugh and her actions, mannerisms and how she talked and carried herself and I know you can not tell from watching across the room but she seemed like she would be incredibly nice and sweet.

Eventually she saw me looking at her. I turned away immediately because I am way too shy to make eyes at a girl. I looked back over after about a minute or so and she was still looking at me. I turned away and went to the restroom to get out of the situation because I was too embarassed. I left after a couple minutes and went back out to join my friends (we were in a bar by the way). I started talking to them and then after a while tried to find her again and when I did the same thing happened...I became entranced with her. My friend noticed and asked what the deal was and I said she's hot and he said yeah I guess and gave me some crap for liking blonds because I do seem to have a thing for blonds...anyway I kept looking over at her and then she saw me again and I look away and then I lock eyes with her and get courage to not look away(thanks alcohol) and she smiles at me and I smile nervously....

She turns away and laughs!
Forgive me for venting but she laughs!?
What did she have to laugh at me about?
This is the question I pose...what is this all about? I didnt even bother to approach her and make a fool of myself and she already laughs at me?
I dont get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 9:36am
She laughed?
I don't know why she laughed. She either laughed because she was nervous or because she was immature. Sounds like she was immature. You were probably better off to keep walking.
I think generally, you can probably tell if she's interested in you just by approaching her and saying hello. I know with me, if I'm interested in someone, I smile at them and talk with them and let them know I'm pretty much a friendly, sweet person. In other words, I tend to let them know I'm a warm person by engaging eye contact, listenting and being open to what he is saying as well. If he jokes with me, I'll laugh to put him at ease. But again, I can only show it if he approaches me and I have to make it okay to approach by smiling at him and even saying hello.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 10:41am
I'll tell ya, I don't know why she would have laughed but I'm starting to realize more guys are shy than I thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 4:44pm

well there has been a shocking turn of events in the story I posted on here about the laughing girl...

This happened saturday night and I saw a few of my friends who stayed at the bar after I left and apparently this girl came over and asked about me! My friend said they gave her my number but I think this is a joke theyre playing on me just because they like to give me a hard time about stuff(jokingly not mean spirited).

But if theyre not kidding around, I think the female species has never seemed more complex to me.

I dont quite understand what is going on.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 4:55pm
Was she talking with other people? How do you know the laughter had anything to do with you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 6:21pm

AS~ She could be laughing because she thought it was cute or sweet the way you were looking at her, but not approaching her. Someone laughing does not have to mean that they are laughing AT you. Maybe it made her feel good to be noticed like that, and a natural reaction for her is laughter.

My point is, try to look at each situation in the best possible light and assume the best rather than the worst.

If something like this happens again, it's a perfect opportunity to walk up to her and say, "I apologize for staring, but you just really caught my eye." If she laughs at you THEN, she's a jerk.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 6:53pm

That's exactly what I was thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 9:52pm

We locked eyes and she smiled at me and laughed and turned away and continued to laugh that is the best way to describe it.

I havent gotten a call from her yet two days after my friends supposedly gave her my number...so I think they are trying to joke around with me and they werent serious...what girl does that anyway...so i dont know

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