Women and flirting

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Women and flirting
75
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:39pm

So theres a thread on here about how a lot of you women shut down or become intensely shy when you see a guy you like or are attracted to and dont know how to act...

If I remember correctly someone wrote about how they would aviod their crush in a social setting with other people...another one said that she smiles and then doesnt do anything after that.

I am confused...

A lot of girls smile at me and a lot of girls aviod me so should I pursue those ones?
I am being sarcastic but I do have a genuine question to the females here...

How do I pick up on when a woman likes me so I can approach her or continue to talk to her or try to flirt or whatever. I would just like to know so I dont make a fool out of myself like I seem to do sometimes with women.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 11:45pm
Yes I do believe that there is nothing about me that a girl would notice if she saw me. I dont believe I am repulsive or anything but I do believe that I do not attract girls so that is all I am saying.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 11:53pm

The #10 just contradicted that notion by calling you and then agreeing to meet up with you on Friday.

Good for you. Hope it goes well :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 1:35am
I hope it goes well too. I admit that I am just a lil' bit terrified though. I feel like am going to interview for a job that I am not qualified for or something. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 3:16am

>We should spare the poor hot girl from
>being in a potential rollercoaster relationship.

I completely agree. She will end up being a pillar rather than a partner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 3:39am

I probably wont make a move anyway because I am toooooo shy around girls like her so do not worry about her being hurt by me.

When we meet I probably will be too quiet and shy and she'll think I am weird(has happened a lot in the past with girls) and then this whole thing will be over. We probably have nothing in common anyway. But when your ideal woman(pyschically at least) comes along and hunts you down(go figure), as much as I wanted to aviod it I couldn't. For those of you worried about me being mean to her and hurting I swear I won't and I wont bite (unless she asks of course, lol).

I was thinking of calling and making up a reason to not go anyway so that is still a possibility.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 4:10am

I will leave the "confidence boosting" for the bleeding hearts.

>For those of you worried about me being mean to
>her and hurting I swear I won't and I wont bite

I am not concerned about you being mean or hurting her, well, not overtly or deliberately anyway. Judging by what I have read here, I think you will be an emotional drain and she will spend most of her time building your self-esteem rather than enjoying a relationship, especially if she is strongly attracted to you. I get the impression that you are the type of person who would use the phrase "How can you be so selfish..." in order to get her to comply with your demands.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 5:37am

Hal...
I am probably not going to get much further then meeting this girl on Friday and then it will probably be over.

I very well may be a pain and a whiner and ask for advice on this board but I dont act the way you think towards women and I have had relationships before and not used the phrase "How could you be so selfish...". That is a whole other discussion though. The one thing I hate more then anything about how I feel is that it might inconvience anyone else(which it probably has on here) besides myself. No one is more ashamed of my petty problems then myself and I am sorry but the only place I turn to with my problems are some of the kind people on here....anyway I am not going to be anything but nice to this girl. If she is as sweet as she seemed I would not try to dump all my petty problems on her.

As far as I am concerned right now I am just trying to make a new friend anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 9:49am

Okay, first of all, you have to try to get past this negative kind of thinking:


"We probably have nothing in common anyway"


"I'll probably act weird and then she won't like me"


By thinking these things, you are actually becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 10:09am

I completely agree - not so much because he is gutless but because he seems to have real issues to face. More than one person has recommended therapy on here and (though he says he has gone) I think that is a good idea. Someone with so many personal issues is not ready to be in a relationship in my opinion.

Based on that, I would not encourage him to call her - I would encourage him to work on himself and not even think about relationships until he is in a much better place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Thu, 04-27-2006 - 12:19pm

This makes me feel awkward but...
I can be funny(I think anyway), I am intelligent, I can talk about a lot of different things, I am a good listener, treat others with respect(despite what some people on here think), I am italian(i love my heritage), I am a good friend, honest, open-minded, hard worker.

I think thats ten.

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