Women honestly....
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Women honestly....
| Fri, 04-14-2006 - 8:48pm |
I would like to know what you find attractive about a guy-pyshically, emotionally, mentally, and everything in between. Im interested to hear all the females honest opinions and feelings on this. Mention crushes, past boyfriends, celebrities whoever you find attractive as an example if you have to.
I like to hear what the female population thinks...and maybe I am taking notes lol

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Hmmm, good question. I've been attracted to all sorts of looks - depends on the guy I guess. Short, tall, thin, not so thin, glasses, bald, long hair. Really there isn't one feature that I have always fallen for, it's the combination on that guy I guess. The more important things to me are character. Does the guy have confidence? I don't want some who has a huge ego but who has some self esteem. Nothing is less attractive than a guy who has no self confidence. Mentally I want someone who can carry on an intellectual conversation with me. We don't have to talk about rocket science or anything but I'd like to be able to talk about my work and at least get some interest. I dated a guy while I was in college who would tell him I couldn't talk about my school work anymore b/c it was giving him a headache b/c he didn't understand it. I don't care if you can't understand what I'm saying but at least listen and ask some questions so I can share my day. Emotionally - someone who will tell me how they are feeling. I don't need love letters everyday and I don't want a guy who is more emotional than me but at least show some emotion every once in a while without me poking and prodding it out.
Did that help at all?
Trina
The self confidence thing...
This is going to sound stupid but why does a guy need to be so confident
I understand not wanting someone who is depressed all the time because they think they are hideous and that you are cheating on him because he finds himself so repulsive...but what about a guy who simply isnt comfortable with the way he looks or maybe a little shy?
what exactly is wrong with that? Women always talk about self confidence but never elaborate on why a hint of low confidence(just a hint) is so bad...
I have confidence problems, nothing extreme but it is there sometimes and I know it is a big problem for females
Thank you for trying to be helpful txtrina
Here's what I personally like best about the "perfect" guy -
Is smart and confident but not arrogant
Confident but still humble
Can easily laugh
Can appreciate high-brow and low-brow humor at the same time
Trustworthy
Kind-hearted
Likes animals (can put up with my cat)
In the looks department -
I'm pretty flexible and am attracted to a wide variety of guys. As long as he's in pretty good shape, clean, well-groomed and so forth. I'm much more interested in the brain than anything else.
If you HAVE to pin me down on looks - my perfect man would be Hugh Jackman. But all of that would fail miserably if he didn't live up to the above mentioned personality traits. That's MUCH more important to me.
I guess I can describe what I find attractive about my current SO...
Physically
Tall, dark hair, warm dark eyes, strong hands, broad shoulders and nice strong legs. He takes good care of himself and pushes me to do the same.
Mentally
A man that can take care of himself and has ambition. Someone with a positive spirit and a quiet confidence. A man that has goals and values that line with mine, willing to understand me and my quirks. He has acceptance of his own failures and successes as well as unconditional acceptance of me.
Emotionally
He understands me. He makes me feel special and important and he makes me his top priority. He is willing to go the distance (literally) for us and our relationship. He lets me know, both explicitly and not, that he loves me.
As a Partner
He does the dishes after I cook. He helps me carry groceries, do my laundry and make the bed. He loves to cuddle. He gives me his arm while we're walking. He gets my independence. He has weaknesses. He's good to the women in his life (mom, grandma's, aunts). He's cool under pressure and crisis. He took care of me when I injured myself. He listens when I'm upset and lets me cry without trying to fix anything. He's well-rounded with lots of interests. He pulls me close in the morning just before we decide to get up for the day. He doesn't need my constant attention. He makes me laugh. He fights fair. He's encouraging me to seek my dream and accepting of the notion that he'll be inheriting the debt from that dream. He's proud of me.
And...
He's not perfect and doesnt try to be anything more than who he is.
My perfect guy:
Physically: Taller than me (nearly everyone is so no problem in that front) and likes the outdoors and being active.
Mentally: Stable.
Emotionally: Stable.
- Love me and willing to put up with my quirks.
- Has a sense of humour.
- Values his family and respect mine (as in tries to get along with my parents and if he learns chinese or knows it is a bonus).
- Has ambition, has brains and is willing to work hard.
- Know what he wants but willing to admit if he's wrong.
- Like my cooking (not picky) and willing to share the chores.
- Doesn't do drugs or drink alcohol that much.
- Is loyal and honest with me.
He'll be my best friend.
For me, the connection has to be with the mind. When I think back over the physical characteristics of the men I've dates, they cross the spectrum: light hair/dark hair, tall/short, slender/a few extra pounds.
The connection comes from shared values/life philosophies. When I can sit and discuss Ayn Rand philosophies with a guy for hours, I know I am with a great guy. I am attracted to a man who is taking care of himself physically, emotionally, intellectually. In my profile, I put "challenge me and I will challenge you." I'm not looking for boredom.
We don't have to be mirror images of each other, but be each need to have enough of an understanding of where we are coming from to engage in meaningful conversation. With my ex-husband, he couldn't tell me why he believed (values) what he believed. That should have been a major clue to me that it wasn't going to be a good match.
I am looking for someone adventurous and supportive. He may not enjoy all the activities I enjoy participating in, but at least be willing to give it a try, as I will his if he wants me to. If ballroom dancing just isn't his thing, ok (sniff, sniff), but if I want to compete, then cheer me on.
I like men who are physically healthy. That doesn't mean that they are at the gym 6 days of the week, but they are active enough to fall in the normal range of healthy and a bike ride with my kids around the neighborhood won't wind them.
And critical: He has to be self-confident enough to not be threatened by my ex, the father of my children. My ex will continue to be a part of my life because I share children with him, but he is no threat to my new man. The romantic relationship with my ex is totally and completely over. Allow me to be a good co-parent with my ex and yourself to be a good bonus-parent to my girls. Know and accept that I have decided to not have any more children. It is a choice I have made for myself and for the daughters I have. It has nothing to do with the new man in my life. It is what is right for me. If being in a relationship/being married means having kids to you, then keep moving. I'm not the one for you.
I don't think that maybe lack of some self confidence is a bad thing, just don't show it when you first meet a girl. Don't tell me about how you think you are so unattractive and how you've been shot down by so many girls. Or whatever you're downfall may be. Everyone has something about themselves that they don't like but don't flaunt it. If you can't be happy with yourself and who you are how can you expect others to?
Trina
Didnt see this earlier...
Not everybody has good confidence all the time, even folks that are generally confident in themselves. I consider myself a confident person but at the same time I have insecurities just like everybody else. When I think of a confident man, he knows what he wants and isnt afraid to go for it.
I have a hard time talking to girls without letting the low confidence shine through though...
I would talk to a girl and think to myself- "what would a hot charming guy say?"
And then I just look like an idiot in front of them
Am I weird or what?
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