Women honestly....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Women honestly....
33
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 8:48pm

I would like to know what you find attractive about a guy-pyshically, emotionally, mentally, and everything in between. Im interested to hear all the females honest opinions and feelings on this. Mention crushes, past boyfriends, celebrities whoever you find attractive as an example if you have to.

I like to hear what the female population thinks...and maybe I am taking notes lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 11:38am
It's very hard for me to say what I like physically. Physically, I've found myself likeing tall guys, short guys, slim guys, husky guys, white guys, black guys, hispanic guys. Really hard to say physically.
But what I notice the guys I liked all had in common was that they were friendly, had nice smiles and nice personalities. I like someone who can just come right over and start a conversation. I also like someone who has a sense of humor and knows how to laugh and this is what I noticed all the guys I liked had in common. Maybe they didn't look alike physically, but they're personalities were somewhat similar.
That's the best I can explain it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 12:48pm

I replied to you earlier regarding what I thought lack of self confidence meant.

For clarity, here's what I think confidence means:

- someone who knows himself well and doesn't change who he is based on the crowd he's with or which "audience" he's playing to

- someone who knows he's not perfect, but values his own quirks and the things that make him different

- someone who doesn't always second-guess what the other person thinks of him. The confident guy doesn't really care what others think, because he likes himself. He knows that not everyone will like him, and that's ok.

- If he believes in something, he will say so. If he likes someone, he will do something about it (ask her out, kiss her, get her number)

- He stands tall, takes care of his appearance (clean shirt, shave, etc), smiles, walks up and starts conversations with people because he believes he's interesting

The bottom line is taking a look at yourself. What makes you unique? What makes you great? What's your best physical feature? (Have great eyes? Then make lots of eye contact). What's your best quality? (You can talk about any subject and offer insight? Then start conversations with people - men and women - whenever possible). Do things that make your best features and qualities stand out so that others notice.

My point is that confidence has nothing to do with whether you look like a GQ model. As many other posters have said - a lot of those GQ-esque guys are as interesting as dirt anyway. Confidence comes from inside -- knowing yourself well, liking yourself, and choosing not to care what others think because you are who you are.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 12:53pm

>If he likes someone, he will do something about
>it (ask her out, kiss her, get her number)

Or post questions about her in a public forum and procrastinate etc...you forgot to mention that one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 12:59pm

One more thought...

Many posters have said that they find a wide variety of things attractive -- physically, emotionally and intellectually. So, that means someone out there will be attracted to you, just for who you are. But, you have to love yourself first.

If your lack of self confidence comes from not feeling attractive, not feeling witty, funny, interesting -- whatever -- then practice. Also, just be you.

I did a quick google search and found a few articles that might help:
http://chetday.com/confidenceselfesteem.htm

http://www.alumbo.com/article/15543-How-To-Boost-Your-Self-Confidence.html

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/improving_your_confidence/

http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/self/help_articles.html

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 3:22pm

First and foremost, I like a guy who has the balls to ask me out.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 3:24pm

This is a great post! You've really captured it in a nutshell.

Sheri

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 3:26pm

Because constantly building a guy up so he doesn't whine about his insecurities is exhausting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 3:26am
tallgirlcolo...
I dont know what my good qualities are or if I have any so I dont know what to do or what to focus on
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 4:17pm

taking notes, ay? ok take down all ya want about this

i was abused by 3 men/raped by 1 so i no longer find men attractive if i hear them say:
TRUST ME, I WILL NEVER HURT YOU, LET ME DRIVE, these are red flags for me.

my past is something i am working at recreating. I want a man who is liberal, semi-wild, and business savvy. I find skinny tall men attractive. BUT you better watch how you speak your mind around me, If you can't handle strippers and strip joints, you are not my kind of guy(but don't go subscribing to all sorts of porn-mags). If you are a religious fenatic, walk the other way (i occasionally attend church services). If you cant afford to dine me at an olive garden, red lobster, and occasionally burger king or KFC, i wont be atracted to ya(restaurant flexability is a must).

You better be comfortable being naked around the house. You better think twice about orgies...i don't do those. i am a person all for manogamy, wild sex on top of grand pianos. I find beards and staches unsitely and sscratchy when i sit down on them.
I hate being forced to swallow things i do not like. so the guy better respect my boundaries.

i dont care that you don't have a 6 pak ab set. you can be skinny without being superfit.

I like a man who is spontaneous but will not pressure if the other person is not reciprocating at that time.

hope this helps confuse ya more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 5:00pm
So I shouldnt rape or abuse women?