Women outnumber men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Women outnumber men?
20
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 3:30pm

I read somewhere recently that, because



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Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 4:54pm
That's pretty one-sided. I know more single men than single women. In fact, where I live, it's about 2 women to every 3 men. There still aren't too many singles. This is a married-with-children type area I'm dealing with. Depends on where you live, I guess. I'd say it's pretty even.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 5:12pm
More than NYC? Oh my! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 5:21pm

>>>I really wonder sometimes that if I stay here for too long I'm going to condemn myself to being single for the rest of my life. Not that I absolutely hate my life because I don't at all, I'm enjoying it here and I have wonderful friends, but it gets old and I'm getting tired of the same old routine-- dinner and overpriced martinis with friends, buying nice things to temporarily raise my spirits because I don't have anyone else like a child to shop for, dabbling in match.com cuz I have no other ways to meet anyone, wondering if things are ever going to be different or if this is the beginning of the rest of my life.<<<

Oh boy, I couldn't have said it better myself...I think the exact same thing. It's not so much the fact that I'm single, it's the fact that I feel there will be no end to it, if I stay living here. I know that's a negative way to think, but that seems to be the reality of it..and so many single friends who are my age say the same thing...the dating scene here is a nightmare. Like you, I'm grateful for my single, fun girlfriends, but after a while the dinner/movie/shopping thing with friends gets a little old, and I want to be dating someone, romanced, sex, all of that. It seems such a simple thing to hope for, yet in this city it seems almost impossible, since all the men I run into seem to be either taken or total idiots.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:37pm

I totally agree. I'm really running out of ideas for myself here. I know my family likes having me nearby and it's not like my parents are getting younger and it would be nice to be near them, but I'm getting to a crossroads where I feel like I'm going to have to make choices in order to avoid being alone in the long-term. I know too many single women here who've gone years without having a real date or boyfriend, and I don't want to join their ranks when I'm in my late 30s. I have a married friend who tells me I can adopt if I want to but I so do not want to go the single parent route just so I can at least have a kid because I believe in some ways that could end up being just as painful.

I feel completely stuck at this point and I'm starting to wonder if I should just take a transfer over the next year or two if nothing pans out here in terms of a good relationship. It really scares me sometimes. I feel like I'm going to be stuck in a rut as one of the city's many lonely women if I don't take the bull by the horns and take some sort of a risk by uprooting myself and leaving. I realize that a lot of single women are content with being single and I try to force myself to be that way sometimes but when I walk into one of my neighborhood restaurants and see 60+ year old women sitting all alone over dinner as i so often do I get really nervous and feel like I'd be fooling myself if I pretend to be "content." It's like sailing on a calm river with a waterfall at the end of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:38pm
Yup, once again, I'm in the same boat (which happens to be sailing on the same calm river, with the waterfall right around the corner). I see old people out eating alone, and it makes me sad for them...but also it's scary if I think of myself becoming that. I also find it very odd that before I moved to the city, I lived in a small town environment (a suburb 45 minutes outside of NY city) and, while my dating life was never anything to write home about, I had MANY more dates while living there, met men more easily. You'd think in a place as populated as Manhattan, it would be easy to meet someone special. Yet the amount of people seems to work against single women, since eligible men see it as having so many to choose from, they figure why bother settling for just one? The whole thing leaves me feeling down and frustrated, and like you, wondering sometimes what I'm even doing here. A place where single, intelligent, smart, fun, pretty, down-to-earth women with everything going for them find themselves all alone more often than not...something is very wrong with this picture.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 7:26am

<<>>

ROFL ummmm yeah great place to settle down Diane...haha!

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:35am

"Take the already low # of single men, and weed out the ones who aren't players, substance abuses, unemployed, have more baggage than an airport,or refuse to date you if you're anything over a size 2, and we are left with maybe 10 or 11 on the entire island of Manhattan."

You also hit it on the head for the single women in Miami. The few single men left here are even more superficial than the women of South Beach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 5:48pm
I believe that there are more single women in the city of New York, (I am one of them). But I see my fair share of single men too. I just think the main problem is we are all so busy and in a rush here no one takes the time to stop and talk to one another. We end up going to bars , online etc. just to meet our neighbors. This city should just be a tad bit friendlier and maybe all us single folk would start pairing up:)
CanJ :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 8:24pm

The statistic that there are almost 200,000 more single women than men in the NY metro area, while significant at the aggregate level, doesn't really make a material difference in the daily life of an individual woman. What matters is the probability of meeting single men. Given the sheer size of the population (8 million+), having 200,000 fewer men doesn't materially change the probability.

What does make dating in NY more difficult is the mentality of the singles there. There is more emphasis on career success / working hard, and less on estabilishing a successful relationship. Therefore dating tends to take on a casual tone rather than something you prioritize and put time into. This was definitely true for me and most of my friends when I lived in Manhattan. I moved to the Bay Area (CA) about a year ago and noticed a big difference - I probably meet fewer single men here (most people here are married or attached), but the men in my age range that I do meet are more likely to want something serious. I'm 30 yrs old, by the way.

What do you all think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 9:17pm

I live in Baltimore, so I can't speak to the NYC issue directly. I do notice a difference in the men that are in DC versus those in Baltimore. I feel like the DC guys are similar to the way you all are describing the NY guys, in that they are very career oriented and not really interested in a relationship (at least in my age range - 30). The one nice thing I'm noticing is that some of the men that come into this area for jobs are from the midwest or the south, and seem to be a little sweeter :-) I feel like most of the guys that I grew up with in the Baltimore area were married by the time they turned 30, so most of the guys I have dated are either from another state, several years older or a couple years younger.

I wonder if there are any statistics out there for single and available, straight women to single and available, straight men. That would be a better (yet impossible) guage.

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