Women Popping the BIG Question???

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Women Popping the BIG Question???
33
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 4:15pm

Ok,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 6:24pm
I brought the book earlier this week. She makes some good points. And..it is just a good read. Thanks for suggesting it :)

Amanda/26/Florida DG to Charles/30/Navy/Iraq


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 7:31pm

I asked my soon-to-be to marry me - and he definitely said yes.

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2008
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 7:54pm

This question really hits home with me. I am a proud feminist and firmly believe marriage shouldn't begin with the female waiting around to be asked, but should be an honest conversation between two people.

My husband and I tease about who proposed to who, but five years later, that really doesn't matter. I am giving this advice under the assumption that you two have talked about marriage often and you are just waiting for him to "pop" the question. Although I wasn't in a hurry to get married, I actually brought up the idea of setting a wedding date, since we were both tired of our families asking when we were going to get married, we should give them an answer! The date set was over three years away (like I said, I wasn't in a hurry), but once we set the date we both knew we were moving in the same direction. About a year out from the planned date, he took me shopping for a ring, and made it "official".

Either way, if you are just talking logistics at this point, start the conversation. Of course, if you two are not yet having open conversations about marriage, I would suggest taking it a little slower and see what time holds. Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 9:30pm

I would definitely tell you not to pop the question. I had similar thoughts like you did. I knew I had met the man I was going to marry -but he was a little slow moving. I feel the man really has to propose on his own terms. I can't really explain it. I can't imagine how a man would feel if his girlfriend proposed to him.

The proposal was completely a surprise, and the ring was absolutely gorgeous-I didn't know he had it in him! Good things come to those who are patient.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 9:42pm

There was a book out called "Getting to I Do" (Patricia Allen?) that had some good points. If a man is masculine energy, he prefers to pursue the woman and propose marriage. If a man has more feminine energy, he is fine with a woman pursuing him and proposing marriage to him.


Feminine energy doesn't mean gay, by the way.


If you have typically taken the lead in your dates with a man, he may be fine with being proposed to. Feminine energy men are also more comfortable with a woman who earns more money than they do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Thu, 01-03-2008 - 9:45pm




I, too, was one that thought about popping the question to my man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 12:57am
I would suggest first to buy him some flowers and see how he takes it. If he feels emasculated by flowers, he's definitely not going to like being proposed to.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 1:02am

Sorry Guys, but I don't think you will like my 2 cents here, but, I THINK IF YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT...IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE READY! If he is not, then he can explain himself. If he has a good reason, then you can wait a little longer if you will feel comfortable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 8:50am
That sounds just like our engagement story. I popped the question with an engraved watch and then he gave me a ring a couple of months later. Both days were lovely and romantic. We're getting married in about a year and couldn't be happier.
Pregnancy ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2008
Fri, 01-04-2008 - 12:09pm

I am old fashioned.