Work lust

Avatar for super_grover_girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Work lust
5
Sat, 04-27-2013 - 4:21pm

Two months ago I met a very sweet Libra fellow at work. I’m from the USA and he’s from Australia and we’re both working on the same project in England for the next few months. We’ve gone out for drinks with a group of work friends together a few times. I invited him and a bunch of others to see a friend of mine play at a local pub and he’s the only one who showed. He tried to sit next to me a few times but kept getting pushed out of the way by other people and I ended up being stuck in the corner of a booth the whole night. He had to leave right afterwards and sent me a text that said “Thanks for some great music. Sorry I had to split. We’ll hang out more next time :)” The following Monday I ran into him while he was in line for coffee. He jumped out of line to ask me about my weekend and said that next time he’d plan a night out for us. Two weeks later (without any further talk of a night out together) we had a work party and spent the whole night chatting. He was very touchy feely with his arm around me and running his hand up and down my back and occasionally dropping it down even lower. Of course I reciprocated and would put my hand on his arm/shoulder or his knee. Ever since then he winks at me when he walks past me and always makes sure to touch my arm or small of my back when we’re talking. It seems like he’s interested in me so I’m left wondering why he hasn’t asked me out on a proper date. As a Leo I’m normally pretty aggressive when it comes to guys but after my last relationship realized I may need someone who’s a little more take charge so I’ve been backing off. There’s conflicting advice out there on whether Libras like aggressive women or not. I don’t want to scare him off and I don’t want to make working together awkward if I’ve misinterpreted his intentions since we’ll be working with each other for another 4-5 months. Anyone have any advice?  Is it smarter for me to leave it alone or should I go with my lioness instincts and pounce? Thoughts???

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 04-27-2013 - 6:49pm

I can't tell what people are going to act like based on their signs (even though I'm a Leo also) but I'd wonder if he doesn't want to start anything because this is a temp. project and then you will each go back home & be thousands of miles away so what's the point?  I'd just keep it light, keep hanging out or if you do want to go for it, just ask only him if he wants to go somewhere w/ you--not "do you want to hang out some time" but "do you want to go to this movie?" or concert or something specific and see how he reacts.  He must like you somewhat if he was putting his arm around you but you don't want to get into something where you're just sleeping with the guy from the office and it's all awkward.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 04-28-2013 - 10:53am

I agree with Music. I also want to add that 99% of the time, if a guy isn't asking you out, it's because he's not interested in dating or not available to date. Are you sure there isn't a girlfriend or wife back home? 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 04-28-2013 - 10:55am

It's my opinion that ultimately, if a guy is really digging you, he isn't going to be revolted by your making the first move.  The only problem with doing so is, some guys will oblige even if they are not particularly interested.  

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Sun, 04-28-2013 - 4:07pm

super_grover_girl wrote:
<p>Two months ago I met a very sweet Libra fellow at work. I’m from the USA and he’s from Australia and we’re both working on the same project in England for the next few months. We’ve gone out for drinks with a group of work friends together a few times. I invited him and a bunch of others to see a friend of mine play at a local pub and he’s the only one who showed. He tried to sit next to me a few times but kept getting pushed out of the way by other people and I ended up being stuck in the corner of a booth the whole night. He had to leave right afterwards and sent me a text that said “Thanks for some great music. Sorry I had to split. We’ll hang out more next time :)” The following Monday I ran into him while he was in line for coffee. He jumped out of line to ask me about my weekend and said that next time he’d plan a night out for us. Two weeks later (without any further talk of a night out together) we had a work party and spent the whole night chatting. He was very touchy feely with his arm around me and running his hand up and down my back and occasionally dropping it down even lower. Of course I reciprocated and would put my hand on his arm/shoulder or his knee. Ever since then he winks at me when he walks past me and always makes sure to touch my arm or small of my back when we’re talking. It seems like he’s interested in me so I’m left wondering why he hasn’t asked me out on a proper date. As a Leo I’m normally pretty aggressive when it comes to guys but after my last relationship realized I may need someone who’s a little more take charge so I’ve been backing off. There’s conflicting advice out there on whether Libras like aggressive women or not. I don’t want to scare him off and I don’t want to make working together awkward if I’ve misinterpreted his intentions since we’ll be working with each other for another 4-5 months. Anyone have any advice?  Is it smarter for me to leave it alone or should I go with my lioness instincts and pounce? Thoughts???</p>

If you want to go out that badly with him, ask him out. He may like you making the first move.  If not, then it's only a temp project you're on and this will blow over soon enough...

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 04-30-2013 - 11:49am

It is that he and you are strangers in a strange land.  So go for it.  Aussie girls are very aggressive.  So most likely he is used to women who are assertive.  The American adage that he should be the one asking you out is foolish in the extreme.

dragowoman