worst luck ever!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
worst luck ever!!!
1
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 2:15pm
boy, i tell you what...this life is not for the faint of heart. I have posted on many different disscussion boards including self esteem, depression, and loss of a loved one. though this is my first post on the single life i am definetly not new to the game!
i just feel like venting today. my mom passed away less then a month ago, my fiance left me after 4 years together only a few months ago, and i have this horrible awful roomate situation which is driving me nuts. on top of that i am about to turn 21 which sounds great but i probably wont be able to celebrate because i cant get my lost drivers liscense back and i need to get my birth certificate in order to get a new one and it takes so darn long!!!
Everyone around me ( and yep this is how it goes, when ur single everyones in a relationship, when ur in a relationship everyone is single bragging how great it is!! grrr!!!) anyways, everyone around me is happy in love, pregnant with their first child newly engaged or some other form of fantastic. so the first problem right there is the fact that beings all my friends are so involved with their awesome lives they dont really have time to sit around and wallow in self pity with me ( haha kidding about the wallowing part but really they just dont have time to go out and do things with me! :( )
the second part is that everyone bragging around me is starting to make me reallly jealous, and really self conscious for that matter. its like...whats wrong with me!! dont i deserve that too? and how am i ever supposed to meet my guy when i cant even go out with anyone because they are too busy in their own lives...
i know everyone sits around and dreams of their perfect knight in shining armor but hell at this point id take a knight in slightly tarnished armor!!!
im tired of being alone, unnoticed, depressed, and feeling like this is the best life will ever get. friends keep saying " hes out there" and " it will get better it just takes time " but really, these are just things people assume and say to make you feel better. what if i truely am destined to a life of lonliness and sitting at home after work watching idol ( ewww i hate that show too!!) i am just looking for something other than the normal encouragement and some perspective from an outsider who doesnt really know me and can see things from the way im seeing them! if nothing else venting sure helps it puts my problem into perspective and i realize that it probably isnt the end all be all problem in the grand scheme of things
Thanks so much!
Danielle
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 11:11pm
I just wanted to give you some hugs because it sounds like you are going through a really rough time. I've been there quite a few times in my life. I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom when I was 12 to suicide. Sometimes I feel that life just gave me the crap end of the stick too when a lot of different things bad happen. I'm trying to climb out of that though and realize that i can perservere through it all. You are still so young and have so much life ahead of you to meet someone great. I'm 30 and haven't even met him yet and have had a lot of failed relationships in the past. Life is very tough sometimes, I completely understand, just hang in there, things will look up. I try my best every day to remain strong even though I've kind of had to play a crappy hand in certain respects. I think it would be wise for you to remain single for now and work through the emotional hardships that you are going through right now with a loss of a mother and your fiance. Take some time to rediscover yourself and going to speak to a counselor would probably help a lot in your situation. I am doing pretty well actually taking care of myself now and learning to heal from certain life scenarios and I don't even have a man in my life and I'm pretty happy with myself right now so it can happen, you can heal and be ok on your own so when the right one comes a long you will be ready for him.