Would this be a desperate Move??? Have I lost my mind!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Would this be a desperate Move??? Have I lost my mind!!!
Sun, 12-22-2013 - 1:50pm

Hello everyone;

I am feeling so vulnerable and lonely and desperate... Back in March I went on a date with this guy I met on OKcupid.... I think I wrote about it but dont remember. Anyway; He lives in Queens and we met at one of the parks on Long Island and walked around and then went to a restaurant and ate  and it was a pretty enjoyable time. I liked him and he seemed to like me..The date went well ..and it was fun and all of that good stuff.  We also had some chemistry too...

Anyway; He called me the next day and we were talking and that conversation went well and that was it.. The third day he called me and for some reason the conversation turned weird although I cant remember why.. He appeared in an agitated mood and he asked me if I wanted to go to the mall with him the next day .. I didnt really want to go to a mall with someone I just met so I said no thanks.. For some reason I am not sure why the convo got weird but he was annoyed at something but not sure it was what I said or that he was annoyed at something else.. So I assumed he was a bad egg and hung up .. He then texted me a note saying he had a bad day and so I figured oh; he is not a good one so I didnt bother with him again.  He is a former police officer and retired now and everyone says to stay away from that type of guy. I have no idea..

Well this morning I was looking around on the dating site and his profile popped up with his pictures again and he has moved to a new location.. Guess where?? Right near my house in a town that is about 10 or so minutes away from me.. I was like wow he  moved... Anyway; I wrote to him to ask him when and why he moved and he wrote back and said he moved back in August and that was it.. He said he was going for a walk on the beach today and asked me what I was doing. I lied and said I had plans..

Anyway; If he asks again should I give him another chance?? Maybe we could be friends.. What am I thinking? Am feeling so desperate and lonely around this time..

any suggestions???

thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I wouldn't say don't give him another chance, just be alert for signs of craziness or continued moodiness.  Since he lives close by now, it would be a lot easier to meet up--just make sure that you don't tell him where you live.  See how things go.  When you talk to him again, you might be reminded why you thought he wasn't a good fit before.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001

In my experience with OLD I have found it best to follow your instincts after talking a few times.  And always, always, be careful and meet in daylight in public places until you feel 100% comfortable.  I'm not saying to just disregard everyone but I do believe our intincts are usually pretty on target.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

okay I like the suggestions but I have been on a date with him already for hours and have spoken to him a few times after that so that stuff is basically out of the way.. but this was back last March....

so he left his phone number on my email and wants me to call him but I am really skeptical about this.. but he told me exactly where he lives and its not even ten minutes away from where I live now  so If I did meet up with him again It would be close and I def. could find out if he is nut job reallly fast.. so that wouldnt be a problem......LOL

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
I've found that by the third phone call with a guy, there's always one that's a bit off. Within the first month, there's usually a date that feels a little disconnected. I don't mean full of red flags or anything, just that it doesn't leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling. Usually it resolves itself by the next call/date, but you didn't have that chance so it still feels off. I'd give him another shot. You never really know what might have happened, and we've got to put up with some oddness from men. It's how they are.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999

Ugh, I keep getting annoying script errors everytime I click on something here.  Five windows all pop up at once.

I say, why not?  Go for it, what do you have to lose?  Of course, if he turns out to be an arse . . . well, just don't let anyone mistreat you ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2014

Do him and yourself a favor and do NOT continue this relationship in any way, shape or form.  Neither one of you deserve the other.