Would you do it backwards?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Would you do it backwards?
43
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 12:56pm

It's supposed to go love, marriage, baby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 1:08pm

So what would the moral issue be ?? You could get fired from your job if you got pregnant?? Isnt that illegal?? in that case you could have a large lawsuit against your school and then have enough money to raise a baby

If

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 1:17pm
I could get fired for far less if the board thought it was against their morals. The clause is very ambiguous. It could be fought, but that's a lot of stress. Plus explaining to the kids and their parents (and yes, these parents would want an explanation and they'd make one up if they didn't get it) wouldn't be pleasant. It's kind of a snobby community.

I don't know if I could do it even without the job complication. I'd need a guy I know will stick around and I have a hard time believing one will actually do that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 2:19pm

so I guess you wont say what state you are in??

Anyway; I guess you answered your own question then?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 2:29pm
I'm in Missouri. I know my answer. I'm asking what everyone else thinks. Making conversation...
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 3:12pm
I never thought about the fact that you are a sort of role model for the children you teach. I would imagine that by getting pregnant before being married, you might garner some strange reactions from their parents(unless it was common knowledge that you were artificially inseminated)especially, the more conservative ones.

I've known some people who messed up and got pregnant, thus "did things backwards". I can't think of any who are still married. Would I? No. Were I raised in a society such as India's, and it was commonplace, maybe, but I was raised here. The thought is nothing short of terrifying. To throw a baby in my womb would just multiply the anxiety. No, thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 3:24pm

oh; okay

I dont know much about the Midwest but what I have learned is that the people are a bit stuffy

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 4:23pm
Cfk- maybe it's just because I am a teacher and notice it more, but it seems like we're scrutinized all over the news at least once a month. Or maybe that is just here. A couple of years ago, two young teachers in my area were exposed all over the news for having pictures of themselves drinking and in certain compromising positions on their FB or MySpace pages. The reporters ambushed them in the parking lot on their way to work. I can't remember for sure what happened to them, but that kind of embarrassment was really unnecessary and does show we're held to a higher standard than everyone else.

Free- I really would never move away from my family. They are already far enough away. I don't think it would matter anyway. I'd still need a man to help support the child and starting all over socially would be difficult. If I wanted to "accidentally" get pregnant right now, I could. I just don't want it to happen that way, and especially with someone I'm not in love with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 5:52pm

Shywon-

Hi. First the down side of being a single mom. Here in NYC,in the last 2-3 years,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 6:23pm

wow; I guess coming from a man's point of view its a different outlook.. You Trenner are thinking very logically which is good but you have no idea of what it feels like to be a woman and want a child so bad.

There is something in us and I have no idea what that is but I believe that God put us on the earth to procreate. So throw in the hormones and baby clock ticking and wham .. We have a need to have a child and the need grows and grows...

This overwhelming hormonal baby ticker in us is so loud that you have no idea how that could feel.. Its like a huge volcano erupting inside and it cant be stopped.. It hurts so bad that we would do anything to have a baby.

It just cant be supressed or stopped or whatever no matter what. My baby ticker started when I was 24 years old. I had a child when I was 26..

Oh; My friend had a child when she was 44 years old. Her son is 9 now.. she and he are fine. It was all natural..

I do agree though that after 35 complications set in and biologically its harder to conceive and things can happen but if we were never to take chances in life where would we be?

I had a child at 26 years old. I was young and healthy but it was a nightmare giving birth to him. We both almost died because of many complications..so if it were me I think I would take that chance. There must be better medical procedures now or something as compared to back in 1980...

There are plenty of single mothers out there.. I was one and some on this board were single mothers so I wouldnt let that stop me. I mean there are better daycares now.. and keeping a child in daycare is not forever.. The kid goes to school and grows up.

I live in NY and what you are talking about is one isolated incident.. I would never let one catholic school dictate my life ... and I also have a problem with the catholic religion.. I am a Christian but I have problems with organized religion.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 7:07pm

You obviously went back and read my responses and edited your original post.

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