Would you recommend eharmony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Would you recommend eharmony?
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 8:46pm

Today a guy friend suggested that I sign up on eharmony saying the guys are more serious there as compared to the free sites.

If you have subscribed, would you recommend it? Please share your experiences. I am currently on pof and okcupid.


Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 9:04pm
I stopped OLD way before Eharmony came along, Lynn. Sorry! Your friend makes a valid point, however.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 9:27pm
Spoiler (Highlight to read)

Theoretically, the people on eharmony are more "serious".  However, having tried it several times myself, be prepared to be matched with guys 10+ years older and with very little in common with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 9:51pm

I tried eHarmony but didn't get good results. eHarmony claims it uses a scientific formula for better matches. However, there are too many variables involved in compatability and attraction, so eHarmony really doesn't do better than other sites. My best results online were in niche sites for observant and semiobservant Jews. I had higher yields there than elsewhere--and eventually found my wife. Look for a niche site with men who have things in common with you. Skip eHarmony.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 9:55pm


Don't waste your money. The 'compatability' personality matching is a gimmick. The people on there are no different. They still look at  1) pictures 2) demographics (age, race, height, etc...) and 3) the profile and select you based on that. They're not going to defy the norms and say wow, such compatible metrics, I don't care how she looks or what she says. What's bad about Eharmony is they control what profiles you see. They send you 5 profiles in at a time (I do'nt recall how often) for you to show interest to. Then you need to wait for the other persn to show interest back.

Whereas a open search dating site, which is the conventional way of doing it allow to to search the entire website for the profiles you like.

Online dating is all about exposure so the more you see and the more people see you the better your chances. If you have to do OLD, use Match. I'm not a fan of OLD and am not on any site now but if you want to try a paid one, use Match.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 10:35pm

Absolutely 100% no - never again.  Three attempts in five years.  Then I actually DATED a guy who was a Senior Exec in their IT dept and when I asked him about the "special algorithym" he laughed his head off! He said, "It's basically geography, age and smoking/non-smoking."  I know they won't listen to my preferences about height, and they make you wait forever - and put in a lot of time and hope - before you see the (usually hideous) picture.  

If your guy friend is ugly, it's perfect for him, because he gets lots of women to engage with him before the "share the photo" stage.

Biggest rip - off in the industry. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 10:52am

I thought EH was the worst site I had ever tried.  I did a 3 month trial and I only even got email response from one guy--we wrote back & forth & few times in one day & I thought this guy was very appealing, then I never heard from him again.  There were very many guys w/ no pictures, which I just don't do at all--if I thought their profile was interesting, I'd send them a message to send me a picture (which is one of their pre-selected responses) and no one ever did.  Normally I don't even search through men w/ no pics on other sites.  What I found out was that at the beginning, I'd get 5-7 new matches every day, then several days might go by with no matches at all.  I thought that was unusual since I was a new member--weren't there men in their "inventory" who had been on the site maybe for months that they hadn't sent me yet?  I couldn't believe that they would only match me with new members or that there were so few men around in my big city area where on POF or match, there are hundreds of men in my age group & geographical area to choose from.  Then they would send me men who didn't exactly meet my criteria but they thought I should look at--yeah, too old, too far away, high school grads w/ bad jobs.  there were very few men I had any interest in at all.  If you can't find a niche site (and I don't know what mine would be since I'm not particularly religious) then I do think the best paid one is match.