A year and a half later...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
A year and a half later...
3
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 11:29am

I was hanging out with this guy friend of mine last night. He and I had one date about a year and a half ago. Nothing materialized because he started to get serious with another woman he was seeing. It hurt a little at the time, but I got over it.

Out of the blue in our conversation he told me that he had decided not to date me because "I didn't make him laugh" when he told me about his grandmother dying.

#1 - Why does he feel the need to tell me the reason he didn't want to date me so long after the fact? We're friends now, so who cares?

#2 - Do most people crack jokes when someone tells them a loved one is dying? Not exactly my first reaction.

I'm just rolling my eyes today. I'm trying not to take it as a sign that men's expectations are too high. In this guy's case, he expects women to be thin, athletic, but not too athletic, have a non-manly voice, be cute/sexy, own a house, have a strong financial portfolio, say exactly the right thing at the right time, and apparently know when to make him laugh.

It's probably more that we weren't a good match in the first place, and we're both better off for not having dated. But, it was just unnecessary to rehash it. Argh. Ok, vent over.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 12:01pm

The fact that he expects you to know exactly how to react to tragedy in his life is just unrealistic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 8:06pm
Wow, that's honestly the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a long time. I don't blame you for rolling your eyes. I think I would have laughed when I heard that. What else did he expect? My goodness.
I know I have only been in lurkdom lately but this brought me out. Like you said, it's better you didn't date. I don't really use this abbreviation often but all I can think is WTF?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 07-25-2006 - 1:12pm

Hey, Lesley! Good to see you.

Yeah, I agree. WTF?

I just keep hoping that there's a man out there who will get me and appreciate me, so I can stop saying "WTF?" Until then, I suppose I'll have some good stories to share. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.