Yet again, I have a problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
Yet again, I have a problem.
13
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 12:16am

This guy contacted me on a dating site back in mid March. We've been talking on msn/phone and going on "dates" (or at least what I think are dates) ever since. He is usually the one who msgs me first when he comes online, and with the exception of one time, he's always the one asking me out.

Now here is where things get confusing. We've been out about 6 times, but not once has he made a move to kiss me. Which is why I am confused about our status - are we seeing each other or are we just friends? (I had mentioned in my profile that I'm just looking for ppl to hang out with, BUT if something were to happen I wouldn't oppose it) Anyway, he went away for the long weekend and his laptop is supposedly broken which is why he hasn't been online in a week. I txt msged his cell that Friday wishing him a good trip, and he called me back later and chatted for a bit (that's how I found out about his laptop). Anyway, I told him to call me when he gets back....still no call.

This is so frustrating. 1) does he even like me? (but then again, if he didn't he wouldn't keep talking or asking me out?) and 2) has he lost interest? (if he has, he wouldn't have responded to my txt msg by calling me, right?)

Sorry this is so long...but I could REALLY use some advice. Thank you!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 2:17am
I think you need to reconsider what you are really looking for and amend your profile to reflect it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 9:56pm

UPDATE!

So I hung out with the guy today. We were supposed to go out on Friday but I had a huge migraine and he wasn't feeling all too well either, so we postponed to Sunday lunch.
Anyway, we met up for lunch which lasted almost 2 hours (I thought our "hanging-out" time was over after that but he asked me if I wanted to hang out longer and I did).

So, I'm starting to think that perhaps my feelings for him were only triggered by something else that happened in my life. And that those feelings were more of a longing companionship than a longing to be with HIM specifically. I mean he's a great and funny guy but I don't know if we'd make the best couple. I guess I was longing for the idea of having a boyfriend, any boyfriend and he was the best prospect at that moment.

It was definitely better hanging out with him just as a friend - no pressure, no reading his body language, no dissecting his speech, etc. Though we met on a dating site and now my fear is that he thinks I'm hoping/ trying to start a relationship with him. I don't want him to hold back with us becoming closer friends because he thinks I want him as my boyfriend. Funny how things can turn around like that eh?

Thanks guys for all your advice!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Mon, 05-29-2006 - 11:51pm
I'm glad to hear that! And yes if you can keep things this way, that'd be best. Hope things will go smoothly for you!

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