Young men falling in love too soon

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Young men falling in love too soon
15
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 9:35pm

This article is interesting. I was not aware so many young guys were like this...thoughts?

http://personals.yahoo.com/us/static/dating-advice_reality-check



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 9:38pm

OMG LOL...I just came here to post this, too!

I'm just wondering where in the hell these guys are...or if they even exist...because I have NEVER come across anyone of the male persuasion that acts like this...

If you know of any, send 'em my way, please...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 2:01am
I never knew guys were like this either. I thought all 20 somethings were deathly afraid of commitment or at least most of them. I hear WAY more stories of commtiment phobes rather than overly needy men.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 7:49am

J was like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 9:08am

This brings up another good question - when do you all think it has been "enough time" to say "I love you"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 9:35am

I read somewhere recently that the average amount of time it takes for someone to say I Love You is 6 weeks. Now, you know as well as I do that you can't love someone truly in 6 weeks...it probably takes at least 6 months instead, probably more. But after about 6 weeks, you definately have the "more than like" thing going on, and that's what people go with...you can't really say, "I more than like you!" when kissing goodnight! LOL

There really should be something in between like and love...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 9:52am

Another thing about the whole love thing...if we compare a couple who has been together for 5 years vs. a couple together for 10.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 11:01am

Exactly.

I just recently spoke to my "first love" from way back when I was 14/15 yeras old, and when I told him that I loved him back then, he said that I couldn't possibly have loved him (even though we were close for 2 years), because we were so young.

I explained to him that I loved him in as much as a 14/15 year old could love someone, obviously not in the way a 35 year old loves her husband. But I still consider him as one of the 2 great loves of my life.

Love is all relative.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 11:03am

Have you ever seen the show Til Death on Fox it's on right after American Idol on Wednesdays now, it used to be on Thursdays at 8 but was getting killed by Ugly Betty. It's really funny.

Brad Garrett who played the brother on Everybody loves Raymond is part of the married couple that has been married for like 15 years, then a newlywed couple moves in next door. It's really funny the difference between the two couples. Doesn't mean they don't love each other, it's just a different type of love, matured, changed, grown, etc.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 11:15am

Oh, yes, I've seen that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 03-23-2007 - 12:51pm

I have dated a few guys like the ones described in the article. Like Shy, they raise an immediate red flag for me now. If the woman DOES stick around after the third date, these "insta-love" guys lose interest quickly. Why? Because they have fallen in love with IDEA of the woman, and not the actual woman. They idealize her, imagine her to be the perfect-do-no-wrong-always-beautiful-will-worship-him-as-a-hero type. The minute she proves herself to be human, they bail.

Nope, give me slow and cautious (but steadily moving forward) any day.

I can't remember which pp posted it, but I do believe you can love someone in less than six months. It's different for everyone. Less than six dates? Probably not. I also think age doesn't matter. I still love the guy I loved at 17. Once I love someone, it never really goes away, and I do think it can happen young, old or in between.

Edited to add:
When I say "they" when referring to a "type" of guy, I should say "in my experience, with the guys like this who I personally have dated."

Just covering my bases here.




Edited 3/23/2007 12:55 pm ET by tallgirlcolo

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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