Youngest one yet

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Youngest one yet
9
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 12:12pm
Some things just make me go...oh geez! Last weekend, it was a 25 year old. He really wasn't hitting on me until the end of the night so maybe he doesn't count. The guy I was seeing last month is 28. The guy I was seeing before him is 30 (young, but still okay to me). Last night, I found out a friend's husband's coworker wanted to come talk to me, but was too shy. His age? 20. The boy wasn't even legal to drink. I look young, but not that young. I'm convinced there are no single men my age left!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 12:14pm

Yes, you have to draw the line at guys who aren't even of legal drinking age.  I remember thinking that Tylor Swift was very odd when she dated the Kennedy boy who was still in high school--and she's only 23 or so.  I do think mid-30's is a difficult time cause a lot of peoople are married by then and maybe the single guys in your age group just got tired of hanging out in bars with young people--or they don't cause most of their guy friends are married too.  Maybe it's time to look for new hangouts.

 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 12:53pm

Wasn't it you who just posted yesterday about doing things you like, not things you don't like, to meet men?  Why would I stop doing something I like?  Honestly, I'm sick of that suggestion. I'm not seeking these guys out!  They come to me. There are plenty of men my age out. They just aren't single. I don't go out to meet men. I go out to socialize and get out of my house.  

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 1:00pm

You happen to be highlighted so I thought I would pop in and reply. 

I don't know how old you are, but I take it you are still in your 30's?  Just some food for thought.  Nothing necessarily directly related to you, but just some thoughts in general.

I think we have to look at what we are exuding.  What is our aura I guess you could say.  (ora? orah?  oara?, ugh, don't know how to spell it!)  Anywho....

What are we attracting in our life?  What are we giving off? Who are we hanging out with?  People we aspire to be like?  People we think we are not equal to?  

If you are okay with attracting younger men and find that it seems to suit you, then I don't see that you need to change anything and simply know your comfort level (i.e. a 20 year old is too young!)  But, if it doesn't feel right, then I agree with Music that you need to look at the people you are surrounding yourself with. 

Serenity CL Making a Second Marriage Work

Serenity
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 1:37pm

Most of my friends are just a couple of years younger than me (I'm 36), and at my age you can't be picky about age when it comes to friends. Most women are married and they don't want to hang out with single people.  I honestly don't mind attracting the younger ones. I just wish there were more in my age range to attract. They aren't grocery shopping, at Lowes, or jogging through the neighborhood either.  

I'm not really complaining, or asking for advice (those of you who know me know how much I don't like unsolicited advice). Just sharing. Isn't that the point of being here anyway?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 3:31pm

Saying that you don't mind attracting the young ones but wish there were more single men in your age range to attract is kind of a contradiction, isn't it?  Ok, so maybe it's not a contradiction.  I'm not one to say that you can't have fun dating younger men.  I'd sure consider dating younger men (if they asked me) for some fun times.  Of course my idea of a younger man is 40, not 20, but still--but I have no interest in getting married or having kids so the age of the guy isn't that important.  If you want to continue dating younger men, I'll say all the power to you and keep having fun with the young (presumably cute and good bodies) guys.  But if you actually want to find men in their 30's and you don't see them around the places you go, I'm not saying change who you are as a person, but just consider that you might have more of a chance of finding a single 35 yr old man somewhere else?  Do you really have anything to lose by trying something different once in a while?  I'm only looking at it like hey, I love Italian food so maybe most of the time I'll go to an Italian restaurant or I go to familiar restaurants that I know I like--but maybe sometimes I'll try something new--maybe it won't work out either but sometimes you just want to get out of the routine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 07-19-2013 - 4:42pm

I hate to say it but I will.. I believe we are all stuck in a comfort zone.. People on this board and basically alot of the general population... Since I am the oldest one here I think and have much more experience with this I do notice that most people stay in the same circles and frequent the same things and do the same things over and over... Heck. I do it myself and maybe I do it because I am aging and there are things that just dont fit anymore for a 59 year old woman.. Like I dont mind sitting in a bar with a man for a drink but I do not like going to a bar alone or with girls even anymore.. Bars are just not for me anymore.. Well? I have been in good Karoke bars but that is getting old to me at this point...

I think we all go through phases in life and alot has to do with comfort, age and friends and what works.. I have been in bars, dances , golf, parties, singles events, meet up groups, three online dating sites, friends parties and houses.. fix ups. dance clubs and have done the whole gamut of the singles scene since 2008 and I am still without an SO...... PLus I am very outgoing and friendly and have a good personality.. I guess Its my age or the fact that my looks are fading... It is just the reality of life..

well do whatever you like and what makes you feel good.. I do know that age has alot to do with things in 2013.. My son dates a woman who is 45 and he is 33..... so there are no rules about relationships.... whatever is good for the two people involved is okay...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sun, 07-21-2013 - 4:26pm

I'm siding with you on this one, Shy.  You & I are in the same boat.  I'm 35 and seem to attract the young ones.  And I don't know why lol!  But yeah, I wouldn't date a 20 year old!  Thirty is the youngest I will date.  And you are right too, that most people our age are already married with kids.  It can be tough at time in our age bracket.  Like you, I don't go out to meet a guy.  I go out to have fun with friends, socialize, and get the heck out of the house.  

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 07-21-2013 - 8:22pm

  It's good that you attract men.  It is also good you recognize you power.  The point is to now become  one with your power.  Being with men increases you allure to other men.  Just as being with a woman increases a man's attractiveness to other women.   Young men can be useful.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Sat, 08-03-2013 - 3:53pm

I have the opposite problem.... Men do not hit on me too often, but if so, they are much older than me - in their  50´s. Like Shy, I am 36. And I always wonder why (why?!) these guys think I would be interested? Why can´t 30´s guys hit on me instead?