Since you're tired of being alone...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2005
Since you're tired of being alone...
8
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 2:19pm
If you had the ability to turn back the hands of time, and change the outcome of how your life turned out would you? This question is directed to the people who have posted that they have a successful career and a great place to live but do not have a special someone in their life to come home to. Would you give up that successful career in exchange for a loving husband and children?
BABY #3!!
 
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2004
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 6:36pm
Would I change how my life turned out? In a few ways yes, but not totally. As for my giving up my career for a husband and children? I would not for children, no, simply because I do not want them. For a loving husband? I would like to think he and my career could come together, that I could have both. I have come to realize that men are not everything, they do not complete me by any means. I have gone so long without one, it is basically nothing to me anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 7:01pm
I mostly see my career as a way to support myself - and I am lucky that I really enjoy it. It has enriched my life a lot. But it does make me sad to think that 50 years from now, after I have passed on to the next world, it is unlikely that anyone will hold my picture in his or her hand and say "that was my dear mother, how I miss her!". I didn't "choose" a career in place of a husband and children, I was just always too introverted to go out and meet men! I couldn't go back and "change" my most significant personality trait, even if I wanted to. This is just who I am. Iri
Avatar for cl_shywon
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 11:04pm

I don't think being successful has hindered my ability to find someone to date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 1:13pm
Agreed with cl-shywon. I don't think my career has hindered me at all from meeting mr right and I have been in several relationships but none of them have been right for me and I definately made the right decision in breaking it off with every one of them, except maybe the first guy but, i wasn't ready to get married in my late teens like he was and wouldn't have been happy at that time married. I'm definately one of those that really wants family and marriage and would never put my career first over those. If there were an opportunity for me to be a stay at home mom if I met the right man who could and wouldn't mind supporting the family then I would take it definately and be very happy with that but i haven't been fortunate enough as of yet to meet the one for me. I would also be a working parent too if we needed 2 incomes. It's tough because one of my really big dreams has not yet come true and there is no guarantee that it will. I'm 30 and still waiting and dont' have much time. I have decided however to become a single mom at age 35 if I still haven't met the one. Careers probably don't stop most from meeting someone but it's mainly circumstance and being at the right place at the right time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 6:23pm
I would definitley not change the past. It has made me who I am and I have learned so much and that is what shaped me as a person. Granted, I have made some HUGE mistakes, but with no regrets. I have my ideal career (a nurse) and I love it, I live alone but I definitely want to someday get married again (I'm divorced with no kids) and have kids. I wouldn't give up my career for anyone or anything, but I do want a husband and children someday and I think that eventually it will happen for me, it's just a matter of time. I'm patient and I'm not sad or upset or tired of being single and on my own. I'm using this time to continue to develop who I am and what I want in life. I think anyone who truly is happy with himself or herself (and it's tough to get there and I'm still not there) is ok with being alone and will do what another poster said - have a child by herself if she has to (I will also if I don't by the time I'm 35). I wouldn't give that up for any man - in fact, I dated a guy who has two kids and a vasectomy - he's great and I really love him as a person, but I know I could never be with him because I won't give up having kids. As for my career - one of the several reasons I choose nursing is because I want to have a family someday and it's a perfect career for a mother. So, no - I would never give it up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 11:09am
That's a good question, but I would want more specifics about how my married (no children, thanks) life was going. I wouldn't give up all I have just to be married but I might consider it if I could meet a man that I loved more than I knew possible and with whom I will be happy for the rest of my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 11:58am

oh dang - Cat posted the PC answer - I was so looking forward to getting to write... "My past made me who I am today so I wouldn't change anything" mumble jumble. Like who I am today is so fabulous I couldn't be any better! WHATEVER!

Yes there are things I'd change but not necessarily in the regard which you are asking! I wish more than anythign I would have NOT let boys consume my thoughts from 13 on... I would have focused on making great LIFE LONG girlfriends and worked harder in school - gone to college and really learned something - excelled at SOMETHING! Had a true "career" and not just this cube-job! I like my job but it's not something I'm super proud of. Had I not been so focused on FINDING him - I could have focused on other things and maybe found him! LOL Oh well... who's to say if I knew then what I know now I would have done any different - I was young and I had my whole life ahead of me... now I'm on 30s doorstep and a whole lot of nothing behind me! :(

But this is the journey of life so... I'll pick up from here! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 12:33pm

don't ya just sometimes feel SO LUCKY to be single!?!?! I do today for some reason!?!?! :D

Life is good!