10 signs he'll suck in bed (cosmo- lol)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
10 signs he'll suck in bed (cosmo- lol)
1
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 2:32am

1. He cockily promises you the best ten minutes of your life.


2. while you're cuddling on the couch, he wonders aloud if you ever get sad guys that guys can have orgasams and girls can't.


3. He asks you to wake him when it's over.


4. Trying to wow you with his lingual dexterity, he does that trick where he ties a cocktail straw into a knot using only his tounge... a feat that ends in his self-administering the Heimlich.


5. Before you get naked, he stops and spouts a bunch of ground rules, like, "Anything goes... but no mouth kissing."


6. Tragically, he lost most of the feeling in his fingers years ago when he tried to pick a burning hamburger off the grill.


7. Right as you're heading into the bedroom, he asks if maybe he could 'practice' first by himself.


8. While blanketing you with kisses as he decends your body, he says to tell him when he's getting warmer.


9. You spot a How to Have Sex book on his night table and see that he's flagged the page about "Your First Time.'


10. The man has a photograph of his mother next to his bed. And he talks to it frequently.


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Thought it was worth sharing.... :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 8:00am

Cheryce, you are funny!! If I saw any of those signs I would run.

I am sure we could all share horror stories!