3 srtikes,I'm out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
3 srtikes,I'm out!
6
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 7:46pm

This is a total vent, rant, rave post,, just to give you all a warning...

My OLD days are getting very numbered I think. T was supposed to call and confirm our lunch date for today, and yup you guessed it, he didn't so whatever...

One of my close friends had mentioned that I might like her uncle,who is recently single, and also friends with my ex in-laws,, I guess he had mentioned to them about it, and they completely bad-mouthed me to him. Knowing that I am the ex-wife of their son,I guess he would still like to meet me, though now he's a little hesitant.

I've decided I don't want to meet him I think. I feel like I have to defend myself, and it isn't about me, it's about my bad marriage and the mistakes that were made,from 2 1/2 years ago. I am me, and his veiw of me has now been tainted, and so I feel like just forget it..

I'm floored that my ex in laws would sabatage me from meeting someone. They are soooo nice to me, and I thought this was all behind us...Guess not. They just want to see their grandson, and fake nice to me.. Nevermind that their son hasn't paid a dime in child support in over a year, and that I had to move back in with my mom, because I had to clean up the bad credit bills that my ex walked out on..

I understand I am the ex-wife, and thay don't have to like what happened when I divorced their poor depressed son, but why delibertly go out their way to bad-mouth me??? I know it's bad form, but their visiting days with DS are very numbered.. I am his mother, and I alone support him, and he is always with me.. I never leave him with my mom, even though I live with her, he is my responsability and I don't shrug that off... I am soo F*** Pissed!!!

Thanks for listening to the rant,,,hope everyone weekend is a great one,, I'm heading to the ocean tommorow, I need the fresh air...

Florence




Edited 4/27/2007 9:09 pm ET by florence2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2007
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 8:08pm

Florence 2007,

I usually just read these and not post things but I just had to tell you that all ex-in-laws must be the same..... my ex's mother was all for me leaving at the time 12yrs ago, because she knew he was very abusive but the minute I got brave enough to do it I was totally the rotten witch that ruined her sons life. And even know 12 years later she does not like me still even though her son is over 40,000$$$$ behind in support and I am struggling to make ends meet. She went as far as to start a rumor that my 2 older kids were NOT his so he could get out of paying all the back support he owes. lol what a joke!!!!

So I just thought I would let you know for me anyways they are still in my life so to speak his parents dont claim my kids as their grandkids and hasnt seen them in probably 4 years and my ex hasnt seen them in over 6 years I suppose. I hope things are different for you and they realize they will loose their grandson if they arent careful.

good luck and have a great weekend at the ocean!!!

Jackie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 8:25pm

The fresh air will do you good - sorry you had to have such a bad time with this. Perhaps it is for the best because I don't think it would be in your best interest to date a friend of your exh's parents. It sounds like the whole situation is just too volatile and you would be better off with a new start.

Unfortunately they are the parents of their son who is your exh - and you know how that goes - they are always going to see his side in an unconditional manner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 9:07pm

Hi West yes, I agree, I'm not even remotly interested in dating the guy at all. He is obviously friendlier wuth my ex in-laws then I had thought, and I don't like them, so no.. It is good to know how they are and feel now though, and as far as them seeing my son, of course they still will, but not as often. Once a month he spends the night with them, and the next morning his father picks him up,, well no more of those. It's never been a plan, it just happens that way sometimes, so for now on I'll ask if EX is getting him that night, and if he isn't I'll just say ok, well, I'll drop him off by 8 the next day...

I did get a phone call from my son tonight, saying he wanted a hug and kiss good night from me, but he is an hour away, and it's almost time for me to go to bed..I know, it's friday night, and I have no child at home, and I'm single,,,so of course I'm home...lol

Anyway, I talked him down, and when his grandfather got on the phone, I was very clipped with him. He even asked me if I was alright, I did the I'm fine, but short and bitchy.. I don't care if they know I know,, you know??? I don't care about meeting this guy,so I'm not going to protect him,,I'm not going to come right out and confront them either, but the frendlies are over. They are liars and 2 faces, and I don't talk to people like that...

Anyways, thanks for listening to the raving crazy ex wife!!!

Florence




Edited 4/27/2007 9:08 pm ET by florence2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 10:57pm

I can see where you would be mad at them. But the overall picture is that you will have a tough job on your own - and they may very well be helpful in raising your son. As long as their relations with your son are beneficial for him I would allow it - and you need your time to yourself. They may help you when you are in a pinch. It seems that they make an effort to be nice. I just don't think they want you to date anyone!

I know, I know, your blood boils - but I am just trying to say don't shoot yourself in the foot because you have a big job ahead of you.

I think that guy is a jerk anyway, to talk to them, knowing they are the parents of your exh. Pansy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 1:11am

Hi Florence!

Thank you for your support on my post!!! I appreciate your hugs!!! The question is - When does all of this stop??? Isn't what comes around, goes around??? In my case not fast enough. When do people just stop and leave us alone and let us live our lives??? I always believe in doing the right thing and that should bring us good right?

-Vanessa

Vanessa
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 8:42am

I don't think it ever does stop. I think you go along ok for a while and the drama comes back up. I thought all of this back-biting stuff was done with, but nope, so maybe it doesn't stop. What you do about it and how you handle it is what is key...

I'm removing the problem from my life.I'm going to have to talk to my exh and ask him about meeting somewhere else when I drop off/pick up DS.. I'll just tell him going to their house isn't working out..

I refuse to let people treat me like crap, so I remove myself from those people,, then, if they have no fuel, there fire goes out..,,and I don't get stressed out unnessarily..

That's what I try to do anyway,,

Florence