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| Wed, 05-02-2007 - 10:02am |
1. How long have you been single?
2. Do you date? How often?
3. Any serious relationships since the split?
4. How long were you separated before the divorce?
5. Who initiated the split?
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help?
7. Do you get along with the ex?
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her?
9. What was hardest about the split?
10. What was the best part of him going?
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much?
12. Why did you split?
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before?
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move?
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst?
16. Will you marry again if given the chance?
~Mel~

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1. How long have you been single? 11 years
2. Do you date? How often? My last date was a month ago- disaster! That was the first
date in 2 years. I rarely date. Would love to date more, but decent men are hard
to find.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? One, I had a bf for 3 years. He was way
too needy and clingy. Glad I ditched him.
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? A few months, fastest divorce ever. We had nothing together other than a child, and we reached an agreement pretty fast on her. A very amicable divorce. He also didn't want me to accrue any more time with him, so that I wouldn't be eligible for his retirement benefits.
5. Who initiated the split? I did, best decision I ever made.
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? He's no help, other than his support checks. He sees her for a few hours every Saturday and drops her off right back home. No sleepovers, no holidays. He's not interested in cramping up his social life.
7. Do you get along with the ex? Yes, for the most part.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her?
No, I was the last crazy one to put up with him. Once the women see how cheap
and selfish he is-they run.
9. What was hardest about the split? It was my second divorce, so I was devastated. The first one was when I was a teenager(18), so when we split when I was 21, I was full of hope for a future relationship. Now hope is gone.
10. What was the best part of him going? I didn't have to put up with his treating me like crap and cheating on me, it was such a relief to be free of him.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? In 11 years, I gone through enormous growth and change.
12. Why did you split? Refer to #10
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? We led such seperate lives when we were together, that there really wasn't that much change.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? I moved very far away, but he moved out here about 3 years ago. He lives about 3 miles away now to so called spend more time with his dd, but in 3 years nothing has changed.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst?
Been doing the online thing for 3 years. I have tons and tons of horror stories with no positive experiences to tell. The only advice I can give is to stay away from the expensive sites, not worth it. The free sites give me the same nothing results, so at least I'm not losing my money.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? No how, no way. Never say never, but it would take a hell of a fabulous man to get me to say I do for a 3rd time. I have no
desire to live together either.
1. How long have you been single?
Been divorced for 5 years.
2. Do you date? How often?
Currently have a BF, dated very little in past 5 years.
3. Any serious relationships since the split?
None that lasted more than a couple of months, except current BF for 3 1/2 months that has great potential of becoming serious.
4. How long were you separated before the divorce?
7 months from time he moved out until divorce was final.
5. Who initiated the split?
XH
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help?
Used to see her 1-2 times a month, but has since moved to Hawaii so hasn't seen her since last summer. He pays child support and that is about it.
7. Do you get along with the ex?
We get along okay.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her?
Immediately after we split he moved in with someone else and they had a baby. My daughter liked her and thats all that matters. He recently split with her and married someone else. My daughter hasn't spent much time with her but seems to like her okay.
9. What was hardest about the split?
Failure of a marriage I intended to last until death.
10. What was the best part of him going?
Freedom.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much?
No, I'm much more independent now. And all around happier.
12. Why did you split?
He said he didn't love me anymore. And apparently had found someone new. We really just grew apart. We were young when we married (18 and 19).
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before?
Spend my money how I wish to. And hang out with my family a lot more.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move?
We were about 60 miles apart, until his recent move to Hawaii (we live in Indiana)
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst?
A little. I didn't have much luck, but didn't put a whole lot of effort into it. It was several years ago and there weren't many guys in my rural area.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance?
Yes.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/219b09
1. How long have you been single? Well after my first divorce, I was single about 2 years, and now I am separated again and this one moved out 10 days ago.
2. Do you date? How often? Not yet. But I am hopeful we can either work out the marriage or I can find a nice guy just to hang out with until I am ready to date more seriously.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? See above
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? I was separated 5 months before the first one. This time, we have not decided if we will divorce or not.
5. Who initiated the split? He did.
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? MY XH sees our son not very often, but thinks he's a world class dad. He sends the same child support for 5 years.
7. Do you get along with the ex? Used to until his mistress decided it was "weird" for he and I to be friends. My current husband and I get along okay, but he's being stubborn about taking off weekends unless he has plans and I get stuck with the kids.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? #1 is remarried. He married his mistress right away. Can't stand her. No respect for her. Nasty skanky. My son is okay with her but only because he is not old enough to know better.
9. What was hardest about the split? Failure
10. What was the best part of him going? #1 is a moron. #2, well, I'm still getting used to him being gone. But my house is cleaner.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I am much different than I was 5 years ago. I am still the same as I was when #2 and I split, but I am seeing a counselor to help with my depression.
12. Why did you split? #1 cheated and announced he wanted no more to do with me. #2 says I am too insecure.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? I go out with friends more and just leave him alone.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? I do not live near #1. 4 hours away. I live 4 miles from #2.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? Never tried.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? I don't know. I mean 2 marriages failed, hearts broken...not sure if it's worth it. It would have to be incredible.
~Mel~
<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker
I love these kinds of surveys!!!
1. How long have you been single?
>>Seperated in Nov 04.... Divorced Oct 06... got back in the dating arena in July 06.
2. Do you date? How often?
>>I'll get a good date about 1 - 2 times a month
3. Any serious relationships since the split? NO!
4. How long were you separated before the divorce?
>>nearly 2 years... divorce can be a long process.
5. Who initiated the split?
>>100% Me...unless you count the policemen who took him away...lol.... he was arrested for DV
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help?
>>yes...rarely... and only under supervision... About once every 3 months....
7. Do you get along with the ex?
>>we have a no contact order in effect for 4 more years....he basically doesn't exist to me.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her?
>>no clue...don't care.
>>I actually have 2 exes.. and my first ex is remarried... her and I don't get along.... I try to have as little as possible to do with her... the kids from my first marriage don't like her too much, either.
9. What was hardest about the split?
>>hmmm... don't understand the question... I guess since I left a domestic violence situation, the split was a VERY good decision and I experience many PLUSES.
10. What was the best part of him going?
>>Too many to mention!!! Anyone from the DV boards knows what I'm talking about. Now that I'm on my own, the children and I have rediscovered life again!! It's awesome!!
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much?
>>I've made sooo many positive changes over the last 2 1/2 years!!! As far as how I'm diferent compaired to the last time I was single..... I'm not desperate. I don't HAVE to be with a man. AND a man does not define who I am anymore.
12. Why did you split?
>>Domestic violence, and ex was a crack addict. Nuff said.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before?
>>Again MANY things. Karaoke is one of my favorites. Also, softball!!
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move?
>>i have no idea where he's staying but it is probably still in the same city.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst?
>>Tried it before but don't like it. I've been on YahooPersonals and Match.com. Now, I don't have a computer at home so I don't have time to look at all the profiles.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance
>>Yes. I still believe in marriage. I'm just going to be wiser next time, and take my time.
Enjoy the survey... now I'm going to read what everyone else had to say...
Love,
Loonybunny
1. How long have you been single? last relationship ended in january
2. Do you date? How often? Not too often but I do when the opportunity arises. Last date was about 6 weeks ago~no chemistry.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? one but it ended in January when he moved out of state for work.
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? 2 years
5. Who initiated the split? I made him get out
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? Yes~once a week for an overnight and once a week from 3-8pm...he also gets 3 vacation weeks a year and we alternate Thanksgiving and New Years each year~I get the Christian holidays and he gets the Jewish holidays since we were of different faith so that works out well.
7. Do you get along with the ex? I do~
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? He does~it's relatively new. I met her once and she seemed very pleasant. She has children my kids ages so that's good for them and the kids seem to like her.
9. What was hardest about the split? The unknown~trying to pick up the pieces and find a new path for myself and my children.
10. What was the best part of him going? Not too much really~he worked midnights so I didn't miss him at night in bed and I did A LOT of things alone with just the children so that transition wasn't too bad.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I've changed since I married him 12 years ago but I haven't changed since the divorce. I'm not bitter or angry. I'm very positive and optimistic.
12. Why did you split? He had an affair and fathered a child through this affair. I found out about it when the child was turning 1 year old. He's no longer with his daughters mother but he sees his daughter and my sons know their half sister.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? I get out with friends much more! He was never home and I always had the kids so now I get out when he has the kids and I love that!
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? He lives nearby.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? I have~met the last guy I was in a relationship through OLD but it's definately a hit or miss thing. I've met some real strange ones too but it was all worth it~still plugging away at it and I'm communicating with one person right now.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? Yes~
~Dani~
1. How long have you been single? Separated since August 2005 - Divorce was final March 2007.
2. Do you date? How often? Yes - sporadic at first - but now I spend time with my hot nerd (HN) almost every day my kids are with their dad.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? - getting there
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? more than a year and a half - but we weren't trying to work things out during the separation. By that point we knew we had to divorce.
5. Who initiated the split? I initiated the final split - but he had really "left" years ago.
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? Yes - at least two days every week. With his parents' help he cares for them two days one week and about 3.5 days the next week.
7. Do you get along with the ex? We're not friends but I think we are successfully co-parenting.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? - He has a weird sort of one - with the OW and their son. She's much younger and still lives with her parents much of the time. I think my ex might care for their baby (15 months) more than she does. I don't like her nor have any respect for her so I just don't talk about her at all in front of my kiddos. I don't have any reason to talk with her because my ex doesn't allow her any responsibility for the children we share. My DD (8) likes her and the baby ok - but my DS(3) has absolutely no interest in either of them. It's kind of funny for me when DD talks about OW though - she doesn't talk disrespectfully of others ( I wouldn't allow it) but she seems to consider OW more like another kid in the household rather than as another adult.
9. What was hardest about the split? Worrying about the impact on our children. The night I found out he had fathered another child with OW was pretty damn bad too.
10. What was the best part of him going? I didn't realize how hurt and angry I was all the time until I wasn't anymore!
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I'm more like the me that I was ten years ago - before I fell into my bad marriage induced coma.
12. Why did you split? We had too many problems to mention - but adultery was definatly the straw that broke the camel's back.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? I can spend more time in my garden. I can find time to shop for myself once in a while - and I have great sex with hot nerd!
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? He's renting a house just around the corner from the home we once shared together. I'm in the process of
"buying him out."
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? Never tried it.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? I'm pretty sure I'll have the chance - too early to tell if I'll do it again though.
1. How long have you been single? 6 years
2. Do you date? How often? At the moment no, but prior to my most serious relationship, probably at least 1-2 a week.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? Several. Each ended for different reasons. One, because i found out I had cancer, two, because I had cancer and he decided he could't deal afterall and got back with his X girlfriend, three because he was long distance and his X fiance begged for him back, four because we had financial conflicting interests; he wanted all of mine, but wanted to share nothing of his. So basically keep his and mine. NOPE. Don't think so.
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? 3.5 years.
5. Who initiated the split? I did.
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? I have two formers; both useless. I am the sole bread maker. They might see them once a year or every two years.
7. Do you get along with the ex? I do only because of the children
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? They would never tell me if they did.
9. What was hardest about the split? Failing at a marriage I thought was forever.
10. What was the best part of him going? The drama was gone.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I am going back to learning to be the person I was before them.
12. Why did you split? MY oldest DD because i wanted to live in Europe (we weren't married) and not be tied down with a Navy Seal, living in BFE; the second he said he wanted to have our youngest dd, but when I did get pregnant, he changed his mind. so he gave me an ultimatum, the baby and a divorce or him and an abortion. I chose the divorce then during my pregnancy he cheated on me, so WHATEVER. I kicked him out after I punshed him in the face. Best feeling in the world. :)
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? I don't have to ask anyone for permission or give an itinerary. That is fun enough.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? One lives in Texas, the other in Germany, I live in NC.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? I've done a lot of OLD, nothing panning out so far. Several different sites, depending on what continent i lived on. Not doing anything now. Instead of finding someone else, I am finding myself.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? Definitely, but it is no longer the rush I once felt I had to have up until now. I was always scared I would end up alone and bitter like my mother, so I forced myself to rush things, now I know, rushing it, is only going to make me bitter and alone in the end. :)
1. How long have you been single? 7 years this summer
2. Do you date? How often? For a while I dated all the time, then I took a break, now I am starting again. Maybe 1 a week.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? A few. One was so compatible but his kids were too far and he moved to be near them. Another didn't live here - was supposed to move but had too much drama and then ended up going back to an xgf. Another was one of those 47 never been marrieds. And another was the best in bed, athletic, tall dark handsome, had a great family and his mother loved me but he had bad money problems and didn't believe in paying taxes.
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? 1 year
5. Who initiated the split? Me
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? Yes - he helps when he can and when he wants
7. Do you get along with the ex? Yes - we have a rather amicable civil relationship now.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? I am not sure. He did for a while and it was a disaster. He might have someone new - don't know and don't care
9. What was hardest about the split? Getting used to running the ship on my own, dealing with family members that didn't agree, my exh being not helpful and a jerk, learning that dating changed a LOT from when I was younger, learning how to date, putting my life back in order and making me happy again.
10. What was the best part of him going? No more drama, no more inlaws, no more disappointment
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? No - I am much stronger and happier now and know what I want and what I need
12. Why did you split? Inlaws, lack of compatibility, his lack of emotional intimacy
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? OMG - the list is too long to list - no dealing with his inlaws, my getting to have a real life and athletic interests, getting to go anywhere I want, getting to buy whatever I want - on and on.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? We both still live here. He is 15 min away.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? Yes - did a LOT 2 years ago. Dabbing with it now - not convinced it is going to stick - don't like anyone near here.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? I don't know. I don't really want to get married right now or ever I don't think. It would have to be a great guy and make a lot of sense. Because I love my house, my time with DS and my activities - don't want to give any of those up - don't think there is anyone out there who can be better than all of this.
1. How long have you been single? -- 5 years
2. Do you date? How often? -- I've dated off and on for the past 4 1/2 years, just ended a bad situation with a guy--too needy; not really interested in dating right now.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? -- No
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? -- We separated for 11 months, got together for 4 months, then separated again for a year.
5. Who initiated the split? -- I did.
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? -- My ex gets my son every other week and he actually does help out. He's a good dad.
7. Do you get along with the ex? -- For the most part.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? -- Yes, my ex remarried last year and they had a child last month. I do actually like her, she is a decent person and my son likes her.
9. What was hardest about the split? -- Not having my son with me 24/7. We agreed to sharing custody until the separation was legal.
10. What was the best part of him going? -- I have found myself and know what I want and need and my self confidence has sky rocketed. He always put me down and made me think I was crazy or stupid.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? -- Lord NO! lol Look at #10. I do not need a man to have happiness and I am much more secure in who I am and what I want for me and my son and more outgoing. I'm A LOT happier now too.
12. Why did you split? -- See #10.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? -- Have a girls' night out and just act plain silly crazy whenever I want. :)
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? -- I moved out but we still live about 5 miles from each other.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? -- I have done online dating forever; it has had it's ups and downs; I've only been on Match.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? -- yes
Jennifer
It might take me a few days to finish reading everyone else's since these are long! But here's mine...
1. How long have you been single? **** Single for 5 yrs, was married for almost 7.
2. Do you date? How often? **** Date maybe 1-2 times a week, with Hiker; been with him for just over 1.5 yrs.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? **** Had one serious relationship that lasted just over a year, broke up because of location. Had another that lasted 6 months- but it wasn't really what I would call serious- only out of control. (he was too serious, too fast)
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? **** Separated just 3 months. It was a quick we-both-wanted-OUT kind of divorce.
5. Who initiated the split? **** we both did, but he was the one who did the filing (so HE had the attorney fees, not me)
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? **** My ex sees the kids maybe every other month when he sees them alot; otherwise it could be 3-4 months in between visits. They talk on the phone alot though. He used to be good with support, but lately he's gotten behind. But now he is also dealing with Stage IV colon cancer- so alot of his money goes for medical bills. I don't expect much from him financially- never have, never will. I was actually surprised when his support checks were arriving regularly for years!
7. Do you get along with the ex? **** We get along okay. We actually get along better now than when we were married.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? **** Ex is remarried (since late 2005) and she is nice. I feel bad for her because she is with HIM now (and with him facing cancer now, too) but I do wish the best for them. The kids like her alot, but there is no question as to who "mom" is.
9. What was hardest about the split? **** Admitting that I made a HUGE mistake by marrying the wrong person for me, and that I couldn't love enough to make it work. (I've learned that 2 people have to LIKE each other first- otherwise you couldn't love enough to be able to live together.)
10. What was the best part of him going? **** Relief! I didn't realize just how tense I would be when he was around, until I didn't have to brace myself for him coming home after work- and worry about when the next fight would be.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? **** I didn't realize just how much of my Self I had lost in the marriage, until it was over. Now I feel like I've regained the ME that I'd lost. But MUCH stronger and smarter now than I was pre-marriage, so I know I won't make that mistake again.
12. Why did you split? **** We were 2 completely different people who just didn't match well. Really should never have gotten married to begin with. But NW and he match alot better- so I hope the best for them.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? **** I can work on my hobbies without being criticized for it. The ex used to camp out in front of the computer all evening and so I'd find my own spot in the living room and work on a craft project. But then he'd be ready for bed (and sex) and then come gripe that I spent too much time on my crafts. WTF?!? And, I can enjoy my friends and go do things with them without any hassles there, either. He used to complain about ALL of my friends- never liked any one of them and would be very vocal about what he didn't like about each one. He didn't like anyone.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? **** I moved 8 hrs away (still in the same state)- back home to where I grew up so I could have help from my parents with the kids.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? **** I haunted Match most. I also visited PerfectMatch, eHarmony and Yahoo Personals but didn't really find much there with any of those. I also didn't pay for any services with anyplace but Match- so who knows- maybe PerfectMatch or eHarmony might've worked better had I paid?? I didn't like those sites where I couldn't see a picture as I browsed though. It was too much of a "blind date" for my comfort. I found Hiker on Match, so it worked best for me!
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? **** I'm in NO rush to get married again! But one day, I wouldn't mind it, if the man was right and the situation was right. I'd like to have someone to grow old together with.
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
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