About You
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 05-02-2007 - 10:02am |
1. How long have you been single?
2. Do you date? How often?
3. Any serious relationships since the split?
4. How long were you separated before the divorce?
5. Who initiated the split?
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help?
7. Do you get along with the ex?
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her?
9. What was hardest about the split?
10. What was the best part of him going?
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much?
12. Why did you split?
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before?
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move?
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst?
16. Will you marry again if given the chance?
~Mel~

Pages
1. How long have you been single? My ex husband and I split almost 6 years ago for the last time
2. Do you date? How often? I was doing OLD, I took about a year off to find "me", then did it off and on for about 2 years
3. Any serious relationships since the split? One about two years ago, and I'm in one now
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? We split up once before our official split, went to counseling and tried to make it work, but it was obvious nothing was going to change.
5. Who initiated the split? I did.
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? He doesn't seem them AT ALL, and probably never will. No help whatsoever, he's a thousand miles away, and I see no money form him either.
7. Do you get along with the ex? Not really, but not having any contact AT ALL helps.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? As far as I know, he's living with another woman and has another child and one on the way. I've never met her, and my children certainly never will.
9. What was hardest about the split? Dealing with the financial mess I was left in- he was smart enough to make sure the bills that didn't get paid were in my name, and I was foolish enough to believe they were getting paid during our marriage.
10. What was the best part of him going? EVERYTHING> the freedom to find myself, do what I want, raise my children my way, live where I wanted, work where I wanted. I wouldn't change a thing.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I became me. I was his wife, and a mother, but I was not nearly the same perosn I am now. I'm so free and happy and simply ME now.
12. Why did you split? Amillion little reasons, one big one- he was emotionally abusive
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? EVERYTHING and anything I want to do. Hang with the girls, take the kids for ice cream, read, play my sax, garden, spend time with my family, basically whatever I want to do.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? He moved to TN, I'm in NY, so he chose to give up the kids, hasn't ever asked to see them since we split.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? I have tried Match, eHarmony, Cupid, SingleParentsMeet, Yahoo Personals, and a host of others. The best for me was Match, the worst was probably one of the "parents" ones, but I guess mostly because they had a lot less people signed up.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? Probably, but I will definitely know what to look for, and I know myself so much better now.
Moody, who had to think about some of these answers, given the time and distance involved.
Powered by CGISpy.com
1. How long have you been single? 7 Months
2. Do you date? How often? I've been dating a lot...probably to much and need to take a break!
3. Any serious relationships since the split? No one serious...no second dates yet
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? Divorce is not final yet
5. Who initiated the split? I kicked him out
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? He finally got regular on every other weekend, now he has to get regular on the dinner dates and sunday afternoons...but I'm not holding my breath
7. Do you get along with the ex? Not particularily, we fake it really well.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? Ex has a girlfriend (since November) Never met her but the kids seem to like her...they don't really have a choice she is constantly around.
9. What was hardest about the split? Not getting child support and having to borrow beg and steal from my family
10. What was the best part of him going? Where do I start!! The best thing is that I don't have to wait on him to get his a$$ in gear. If I want to take the kids somewhere I pick up and go. THAT is incredibly amazing to me.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I am the same person...just without the dead weight
12. Why did you split? Many reasons but the catalyst was that he smoked pot like a drunk drinks and wouldnt give it up even with threatening to kick him out.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? I get to chose what i do for fun without having to consider his disdain for leaving the house. On Saturday I'm going to see an art exhibit that I'm dying to see....YEAH ME!
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? He moved about 45 minutes away
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? Only online dating...Match is the worst for me, POF seems to keep me busy.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? I might marry again...but that will be after years of living together.
Wow how amazing I didnt think a lot of people would responde to this when I read it but it is so cool and helps I think to get to know everybody much better.
I love doing surveys!!!!! So here goes
1. How long have you been single? 12 years
2. Do you date? How often? I dont date cant seem to find anyone that I can tollerate...lol
3. Any serious relationships since the split? I had 1 right after my divorce
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? almost 2 years
5. Who initiated the split? I did finally got brave!
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? NO he doesnt see them at all hasnt in close to 5 years. NO he doesnt help last figure I heard he was $40,000 behind in support
7. Do you get along with the ex? Heck NO!!!!!
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? dont know dont care
9. What was hardest about the split? wondering whether I could make it with 4 kids on my own.
10. What was the best part of him going? the abuse mental physical and verbal STOPPED!
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I dont think I have changed any except maybe feeling safer even though alone
12. Why did you split? see #10 and tired of him spending every penny on acohol and crack instead of food for babies
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? I dont have to ask for money to do something... I got to go to school to better myself he would have never let me do that.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? He moved in with his drunk daddy in Florida and I am in Indiana so no we dont live close which is way better for me and the girls...... he doesnt even know hes a grandfather
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? I have never tried it sort of .... I have a profile on a couple of sites after talking to (reading) the different post on here but have NOT paid for any (money is too tight)have gotten some winks but nothing to get excited about and since I cant responde I guess it doesnt count as trying OLD
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? I have only been married the 1 time but I say I will never do it again..... (dont think there is anybody out there that wants an old lady with 4 kids) but who knows I guess
Good point - I have enjoyed this survey - reading all of the responses. It is so encouraging to see that there are so many of us in the same boat.
See, Mel, we did miss you and your surveys!! I remember you used to come up with so many good surveys and chatty topics here. I am glad to have you back, although that is selfish, and I know you are in a lot of pain right now. HUGS!
1. How long have you been single? 11 months
2. Do you date? How often? Yes...about 1-2 times a week
3. Any serious relationships since the split? Was seeing a guy for about 3 months. I thought it was serious, but apparently he didn't agree. Now I've been seeing someone for about 2 months and we've hit a rough patch, but still seeing where things go.
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? 10 months
5. Who initiated the split? I did
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? He takes our 2 boys every other weekend and for dinner on Wednesday nights for 2 hours.
7. Do you get along with the ex? Not really...he's likes to instigate arguments.
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? My ex has been with his girlfriend for about 9 months. I've never met her and my kids have only met her once. We've decided that we should not involve the kids in our personal relationships for the time being since they have been struggling with the divorce and are in counseling.
9. What was hardest about the split? Learning how to do everything on my own and to support us financially.
10. What was the best part of him going? All the tension and fighting was gone. I didn't have to dread him coming home from work and waiting for the fighting to start.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I'm finally getting back to the person I was before my marriage. I'm learning how to be more independent and that I don't need anyone to take care of me.
12. Why did you split? He was mentally abusive, continually raped me and is bipolar and tried to commit suicide in front of our 2 boys. We tried counseling twice, but I just couldn't get over what he'd done to our family.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? Anything I want!! Dancing, movies, baseball games and I get to see my friends again!
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? We live about 2 miles apart.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? Done a lot of OLD. Been on Match, American Singles, Eharmony, and PerfectMatch. The 2 that I've had the best luck with are Match and American Singles. I'm tired of it though and am currently taking a break.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? Yes. I'm still the eternal optimist about marriage. I always look at my parents who still adore each other and just celebrated their 41st anniversary on April 30th.
Have y'all noticed how just about all of the exh's have remarried or have girlfriends? Here we are trying to find a good guy or keep up with a good relationship we have now. It's amazing how men HAVE to have someone. lol I know my ex had to have someone cook, clean, and help with our son on the weeks he has him. He probably did it for financial reasons to because he was all about HIS money.
Just noticed how the men found someone so fast after splitting up and putting my 2 cents in....
Jennifer
1. How long have you been single? I've been single since '04.
2. Do you date? How often? I've been in a relationship for a year so I don't date now.
3. Any serious relationships since the split? Just one serious relationship and had a FWB before that who was/is a good friend.
4. How long were you separated before the divorce? Separated a couple of months.
5. Who initiated the split? He did, but it was because I didn't want him.
6. Does your former SO see the kids? How often? Does he help? He takes the kids every Mon&Tuesday and every other weekend.
7. Do you get along with the ex? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you say restraining order?
8. Does your ex have a relationship now? Do you like her, your kids like her? He HAD a relationship for two years. He blew it because he couldn't stop harrassing me on the phone and she got sick of it. The final straw was when I called the police to get him to stop.
9. What was hardest about the split? Our youngest daughter cried every night and our oldest blamed me and hated me for months.
10. What was the best part of him going? Being able to be free to do things without guilt, meeting new people and experiencing new things.
11. Are you the same person as before or did you change much? I've changed. I'm stronger and know that I will be ok on my own or with someone.
12. Why did you split? Married very young and I felt like he just wanted a warm body around to pay the bills and keep up the house.
13. What do you do for fun now that you did not get to do before? My boyfriend and I do a lot of active stuff together like running, hiking and he taught me to ski downhill. I've been whitewater rafting and mountain biking.
14. Do you live near your ex or did one or both of you move? We live a mile apart.
15. Have you done online dating? How was it? What is the best site you tried? Worst? I did online dating and it was ok. I met some descent guys and a couple of psychos. I think Match.com is a good site.
16. Will you marry again if given the chance? Yes I want to marry again someday. At this point I feel like I should get a kid or two out of the house. My oldest graduates high school next year and my daughter is going into the 10th grade next fall. My BF said he wants to marry me, but for the most part I'm happy living in the moment. We have our kidfree time together where it's just us and it's not complicated by kids or bills or chore battles. LOL. I love it.
Pages