"Today, i had a meeting with ds8's teacher... he's doing well.... and then i went to the YMCA to sign up my girls for swimming/sports lessons.... i'm making sure that i keep my life and not get too wrapped up in TG's life..."
That all sounds good to me! Stay in the moment and do not think too far ahead. Keep enjoying every day!!
Darn it when these kinds of thoughts come in to mess up the FUN of simply enjoying the developing relationship!!!! ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
Just some thoughts of my own- take what works, toss the rest...
Deeply-seated self-worth issues? I know I had some of that. If you've been knocked down by an ex, some of those negative comments do sink in. And when you start something new with someone new- and they are actually NICE and NORMAL and all the good stuff... you start wondering "Why is he with me?? What is wrong with him, if he wants to be with me?" as if you are not worthy or deserving of someone Normal and Nice. Or you start to wonder just when they will realize "the real you" (that is still
Sometimes you just have to let go & trust your instincts. Sure, you could get hurt. BUT, you cant win if you dont play. Hang in there, give it a little more time - just keep your ears & eyes & heart open & I think he may just be a keeper!
One month isn't a lot of time, but we've seen each other 3-4 times each week... and he's called EVERY day.. so i feel likes it's been longer.. AND i've met all of his friends, too... i've just become so included into his life... and he's becoming a part of my life.. yikes. And that's means he could hurt me.... not that he would but the mere fact that he "could" is scary....
I guess it's like 2 steps forward and 1 step back... i get a little closer... really start enjoying it.. and then say, wait a minute, what am i doing.. where is this going....and am i going to get hurt in the end...?
My sister was also in a similar abusive/drug addict relationship... she also knows all the signs to look for...she helps me to see things from a neutral perspective.. like all of you do.... My main question to her was.. am i reacting normal? She said, normal for what you have been through... So i was like, tell me what is normal... a normal girlfriend would do XYZ.... because i'm afraid i'm going to ruin this just because i'm afraid ..... that i'll behave too controlling or too untrusting....
I also don't like feeling.... if i have a bad day at work, my first thought is i need a hug from TG to feel better or i need him to tell me "everything is okay"... THAT'S what scared me yesterday and this morning... i had a rough day at work and wasn't able to see him... (because i'm seeing him tonight). For the first time in YEARS, i had that feeling of needing someone that i have NO control over.... i feel like i worked thru it today... worked thru the fact that I can't control another person and that's okay..... that i will be okay even if i don't get to hug him.. gee i sound like a child... but twitterpation (that's not a word is it?) does that to everyone i guess.... lol....
I'm so glad you posted this.....I'm in pretty much the same boat and the responses are great! Some days I just want to let go and be happy but then I get scared that if I let go of my caution that it will all fall apart - silly huh?
Anyways, all I can say is yay us! For finding great guys....and hopefully we can find some faith and they will prove us right!
"Today, i had a meeting with ds8's teacher... he's doing well.... and then i went to the YMCA to sign up my girls for swimming/sports lessons.... i'm making sure that i keep my life and not get too wrapped up in TG's life..."
That all sounds good to me! Stay in the moment and do not think too far ahead. Keep enjoying every day!!
Darn it when these kinds of thoughts come in to mess up the FUN of simply enjoying the developing relationship!!!! ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
Just some thoughts of my own- take what works, toss the rest...
Deeply-seated self-worth issues? I know I had some of that. If you've been knocked down by an ex, some of those negative comments do sink in. And when you start something new with someone new- and they are actually NICE and NORMAL and all the good stuff... you start wondering "Why is he with me?? What is wrong with him, if he wants to be with me?" as if you are not worthy or deserving of someone Normal and Nice. Or you start to wonder just when they will realize "the real you" (that is still
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I completely understand where you are coming from!
April
I totally understand how you feel sweetie.
thanks everyone for support and understanding....
One month isn't a lot of time, but we've seen each other 3-4 times each week... and he's called EVERY day.. so i feel likes it's been longer.. AND i've met all of his friends, too... i've just become so included into his life... and he's becoming a part of my life.. yikes. And that's means he could hurt me.... not that he would but the mere fact that he "could" is scary....
I guess it's like 2 steps forward and 1 step back... i get a little closer... really start enjoying it.. and then say, wait a minute, what am i doing.. where is this going....and am i going to get hurt in the end...?
My sister was also in a similar abusive/drug addict relationship... she also knows all the signs to look for...she helps me to see things from a neutral perspective.. like all of you do.... My main question to her was.. am i reacting normal? She said, normal for what you have been through... So i was like, tell me what is normal... a normal girlfriend would do XYZ.... because i'm afraid i'm going to ruin this just because i'm afraid ..... that i'll behave too controlling or too untrusting....
I also don't like feeling.... if i have a bad day at work, my first thought is i need a hug from TG to feel better or i need him to tell me "everything is okay"... THAT'S what scared me yesterday and this morning... i had a rough day at work and wasn't able to see him... (because i'm seeing him tonight). For the first time in YEARS, i had that feeling of needing someone that i have NO control over.... i feel like i worked thru it today... worked thru the fact that I can't control another person and that's okay..... that i will be okay even if i don't get to hug him.. gee i sound like a child... but twitterpation (that's not a word is it?) does that to everyone i guess.... lol....
Doing things with my
I'm so glad you posted this.....I'm in pretty much the same boat and the responses are great! Some days I just want to let go and be happy but then I get scared that if I let go of my caution that it will all fall apart - silly huh?
Anyways, all I can say is yay us! For finding great guys....and hopefully we can find some faith and they will prove us right!
A
>>Anyways, all I can say is yay us! For finding great guys....and hopefully we can find some faith and they will prove us right!<<
AMEN!!