After a couple of rounds of phone tag

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
After a couple of rounds of phone tag
5
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 11:35am

I had a conversation with Dennis last night. The fellow who lives about an hour and a half away.

There has been no rush or pressure to connect. He called me first and left a message. I called him and left one. Then last night he called, I called him back because I wasn't busy. We talked for an hour or so (I love free night minutes). It was nice. I think he's a regular guy and I mean that in the nice way.

He's been divorced 8 years (7 since my divorce), he raised his kids (3 girls) and hasn't had much time for dating. They are on their own now, youngest 23. He's older than I am by about 8 years, and seems settled emotionally. We had an actual conversation. He asked about my job, flower garden, kids, classes, the degree I'm working toward. I asked about his kids, job, music he likes and how he handled the cold winter here (he moved here from CA). We mentioned ex's but didn't get into it much. His kids were his #1 priority growing up. He mentioned living close to his sister so she could fix their hair right for them. I thought that was sweet.

He goes to church but isn't over religious and he doesn't jump into relationships...wants to know someone awhile. And it sounds like he has a steady job.

All sounds so...normal, eh? And no off color jokes or talk.

He said he liked talking to me, that some people are hard to talk to because they just answer "yes or no", but that I was good to talk to. And he likes my voice. And he'd like to talk again if it was ok with me. I told him I'd like to talk to him again, too.

I have to say, a nice conversation with a nice, average guy...it was a new experience for me. LOL...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 1:43pm

Gee, that sounds like a reasonable first "phone date".

Way to go!

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 5:27pm
Always keep in mind to not dive in too deep, too quickly, Candi. He sounds like a VERY pleasant guy. But again, far away. This is usually a problem for you. A deal breaker. Still, he sure sounded nice, and I'm glad you had a nice grown up conversation. That's worth gold sometimes, huh?
Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 10:01pm


I know, I know...I hear you.

I'm not particularly excited and don't expect this to go anywhere.He is a "go slow" kind of person, so it should be fine. I'm being consciously slow. When I left him a message I waited for him to call me back and he did. We haven't even exchanged last names yet. :)

I don't see him as a soul mate or anything. He's just a nice older gentleman. I think he has more old fashioned values than most of the people I have met.I almost didn't even talk to him because he's older. It is just nice to talk to him.

I have to say though...I was antsy for male company and talking with him pretty much took care of that. Just male conversation. I was considering giving in and letting trav come visit (he's still emailing me)but now I'm out of the notion.

My plan at the moment, if I have one, is to just meet nice men...not to DATE them. I just want to know there are nice guys out there. No asking out. If they flirt I'll enjoy it, but no promises and no involvement.

Does that make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 1:45am

Hey Candi,
I haven't been around to find out how you met this one...not clear on whether you've met in person already?

Anyway, he sounds nice so far...like someone you can be friends with first, which is what you want right?

Hope he turns out to be a good egg, whether he's just friend material or more... :)

g

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 9:26am


We haven't met yet and I'm not going to be the one to suggest it. :)If I have to hit myself in the head with a hammer, I will NOT suggest it. LOL (See Jean, you're not the only one!)

He asked for a phone conversation. He asked to call again. I'm enjoying talking to someone without an agenda. I think he's just a nice man.

He told me about a couple of people that have contacted him through the personals (I asked if he'd had many responses). One was a woman who kept calling him Frank (his name is Dennis, LOL). He decided she and Frank should work through their issues alone.

And another lived in another state and was in transition (meaning unemployed). She thought she should come move in with him and cook for him while she was looking for another job. ROTFL. He said he didn't think they knew each other well enough for that and she quit writing.