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| Sun, 06-17-2007 - 7:28pm |
Okay...so this is my first time (that I remember, anyway) posting here but I've been a member for a while.
I am currently in the biggest "blah" stage of life that I don't really know where to begin so I'll just shoot things out. I would love some advice though, ladies (I don't think there are any men here..if so, sorry!) =I
I have a four year old son who I have been raising basically on my own. I left his father when he was a little under a year old. His father and I always had the "unsual" relationship. To me, we always used to have an open relationship even though we weren't together. Rumor went around that my sons father had a girlfriend. At the time I didn't care (I left him when I found out he cheated on us when we were out of town for a month) and to this day, I don't care as I myself have been in a new relationship for over two years. The thing is, his father HIDES everything. He is a pathalogical liar. I had a gut feeling that he had fathered another child. Just now, almost two years later, he brought his daughter to our (my son and my) home on our sons forth birthday. Never said a word about his daughter*to me* even though I knew she existed.
Now...heres where things get "iffy" with me and what I really need some opinions on.
I am currently expecting. I am seven months along and no one knows. One would wonder/ask WHAT!? HOW?!
I really don't know. I made the decision as to not tell anyone. I am starting to show--a lot. My mother is currently staying with my son and me and I need to tell her. I've been going through some rough times and each day that I let pass me by, I cry so much asking myself "WHY" ~ Why I let it get this far (into my pregnancy) without mentioning anything to her. To anyone in my family, at that. Deep down, I think the main reason is because I ended up having to rely on my father for financial assistance when my sons father backed down and out on me a few times. My father has supported us more than he should have to--especially at this stage and point. So, deep down, I think that's WHY but im not sure. My mother is the "anti marital sex" sort of person and I highly doubt that she thinks my beau and I are even in a sexual relationship. Gee, I feel like im a teenager writing this out. *sigh* ~~perfect example of 30 going on 13 here~~ Things would be different if the two of us lived together of course but we don't.
I guess my question is how do I go about approaching her and my father about my pregnancy? I don't know how they'll react. I don't want them to think I am irresponsible in the least bit. They both tell me what a wonderful mother I am but *shrug* I just don't know. I never thought I'd be asking such questions at my age. I feel like I haven't handled things properly and im sure it's because I haven't.
Sorry for the blochyness of this post...I just feel like I really need to do something--and quick. I'd better send this before I delete it =/
Thanks for reading.

Welcome and hugs to you. We always love to have more moms here.
My first thought when reading this, is that I bet you are in more agony worrying about this than you would be if you just spat it out and told them. Chances are that if you are showing then they might already suspect.
Honesty and bluntness are always the best way, I think.
Perhaps you can try to think of a way that you will be able to support you and the baby and your kid. Do you need to go back to school? If it was me I would try to think about that so you can feel better about yourself.
Your situation is what it is and you just have to know that while they might get upset at first they will get over it and they get a beautiful grandbaby to hold and behold.
Keep us posted, okay?
Welcome and hugs to you. We always love to have more moms here.
My first thought when reading this, is that I bet you are in more agony worrying about this than you would be if you just spat it out and told them. Chances are that if you are showing then they might already suspect.
Honesty and bluntness are always the best way, I think.
Perhaps you can try to think of a way that you will be able to support you and the baby and your kid. Do you need to go back to school? If it was me I would try to think about that so you can feel better about yourself.
Your situation is what it is and you just have to know that while they might get upset at first they will get over it and they get a beautiful grandbaby to hold and behold.
Keep us posted, okay?
~~~~Thanks for the warm welcome, cl. I've thought about what you first mentioned quite often. My Mom is the sort of person who speaks her mind. She DEF. would have 'come out' and asked me if I am expecting. I see people looking at my belly (I wear t-shirts that aren't quite fitted, but at the same time they aren't huge and since my belly is growing right on schedule, baby is starting to fill my shirts in more) and wonder if they suspect anything or if it's just me thinking they are.
I've thought of going back to school. I obtained my AA years ago and had started working on my BA pre-pregnancy #1 when I was with my sons father. I've pretty much opted going back to school out, though.
I'm debating on whether or not a letter or email would be justified. Part of me sees it as the easy way out. I just don't want to hear anything that anyone may regret having said. My circumstances are way different this time around (both pregnancies were planned--I never expected to be in this sort of place this time around if that makes sense)and Im fearful of what's possibly to come.
I hope im making sense.
Thanks again for your input. :)
Ohmygoodness, rIch...it's more than an enormous amount/load of stress. I feel like im carrying the world on my shoulders and my belly. I find it so hard..so insane that I chose to put myself in the current position I am in. I've never really had any sort of regret in life per say, but im thinking this could be a 'first' regret. This is my last child and I feel like I haven't really enjoyed my pregnancy (aside from me being so sick up until this point). I've skipped (yet I bought some..heh go figure) wearing cute maternity clothes solely because of no one knowing.
My sister is currently in Korea and will be arriving back home in less than two weeks. She, too, doesn't have a clue that she'll be an Auntie for the second time. I feel so awful. -tears-
Thank you also for your reply. :)
I don't want them to think I am irresponsible in the least bit.
I think if you can show your parents that you are responsible - that you're not expecting them to support you financially