Allow me to introduce myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Allow me to introduce myself
14
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 7:04pm

Hi everyone,

I have been lurking for the last few days. I too am a single mom technially at least. I have been in a dysfunctional relationship with my ex since the day I told him I was pregnant. Technically we broke up then but the funny thing is we never really broke ties. We now have a 21 month old adorable son and are committed parents. We are no longer a couple though he still has a key to my place and spends a lot of time here.(hey I mentioned it was dsyfunctional)

So I tried to get back out in the dating world about a year ago but realized it was too soon. (it was more out of pressure from my friends) Lately, I have been missing that intimacy and connection with another person. Even though my ex and I are dear friends,I miss the intimacy we use to have. I want to set some boundaries but with his career (he is a pilot) I find I am the one who has to be flexible for our son. Our son loves his Daddy and his Daddy really does spend every free moment here with him (really with us since he and I tend to make it family activities)

I recently signed up on Match and have been recieving some intriguing responses. Here is my delima. Who wants to get involved with someone so close to her ex? Why do I feel like I am cheating when my ex clearly can't commit to me? Is it wierd that we are going on a vacation together with his parents next month? My friends are confused; I am confused and he is confused. I really think in some way I need to get one under my belt so to speak (I mean dating not sex so get your mind out of the gutter :) ) to really get some perspective but it can be scary to take it to the next step and actually meet. Yikes!!

So that is my sordid little tale. Hopefully you all can be a friend, a shoulder, and a guide as I move into this chapter of my life.

Savannah

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 11:37am

For me, my goal is to create a long term, committed relationship when I go out to date. Some others may have a goal to find people to have fun with and that's it.

I have met women who are were is similar situations and they inevitably are not emotionally available. They have not fully moved on and ready to have a new relationship.

I think that is great that divorced parents can find ways to co-parent but this also involve a continuing relationship between the ex's as well.

Other guys may want a good time, no emotional strings attached, and/or are naive about such situations and are willing to date women like Savannah but I wouldn't.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 2:46pm

Ummm.....Did I just get rejected???

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 4:54pm

I think it is a great idea to get out there and date casually. When you communicate with a few people and meet them you start to learn a lot of new things - what is out there, how to handle dating and meeting, how to set more boundaries and focus on what YOU want, and what you want and don't want - different people make you feel differently - you want someone who accepts you and likes you just for the way you are. There is a lot to learn. I think that juggling a few for a bit until you get to know them better is a great idea.

Glad to have you here - hope you participate in all our threads and keep us posted on how you are doing. You have a nice pic and name!!

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 7:18pm

Rejected?! Let's say screened out *grin*

One date I had was with a woman that said she is just out of a marriage and wanted to practice dating. So I figured that she does not want a relationship. Boy I was wrong for when I mentioned that to her at our first and last date, she got upset for she did not equated practice dating with not wanting a relationship.

Mark

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