Same thing here. First guy after divorce wound up being FWB, which was fun, I loved the attention for the first time in years, but deep down I knew I wanted more. I tried to convince myself that either I was good with FWB or that somehow, if I tried really hard, he would...
Then I caught myself and realized that was the line I was feeding myself about my ex for years...If I try harder, If I give more, If I try to see his viewpoint more, etc. It didn't work then, why would it work now?
Attention is wonderful, but as I tell my little students, good attention is better than bad attention.
This was me and NC. Almost to a tee. The way you described him like a crack pipe etc, I know exactly what you mean. For me, what changed things was stopping the sex part. As long as you're intimate with him, you aren't allowing anyone a chance in hell to get to know you or get close to you on any level. Can you consider taking a step back from DJ? I know the nakie time is off the charts and too delicious to imagine without, but if it meant you guys could still hang out, have fun together, but you aren't emotionally attached that way. Well, it might help
Ok, I can speak from some experience w/ LB. B/c i was "seeing him" i guess, but we both knew nothing was going to come of it, & neither of us WANTED it. THAT is the Key.
The other chick working with us asked me how DJ and I knew each other. I told her that we were friends at met one night when he was working. --- You are going to freak out if DJ ends up asking this chick to go out. It's obvious she was putting her feelers out to find out where you two stand.----------- ----- DJ put the default clause out, so now, it is only friends-------- -----You are going to have to start mentally removing yourself, because you are in it too deep even though you keep telling yourself you aren't.--------
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Same thing here. First guy after divorce wound up being FWB, which was fun, I loved the attention for the first time in years, but deep down I knew I wanted more. I tried to convince myself that either I was good with FWB or that somehow, if I tried really hard, he would...
Then I caught myself and realized that was the line I was feeding myself about my ex for years...If I try harder, If I give more, If I try to see his viewpoint more, etc. It didn't work then, why would it work now?
Attention is wonderful, but as I tell my little students, good attention is better than bad attention.
Ok, I can speak from some experience w/ LB. B/c i was "seeing him" i guess, but we both knew nothing was going to come of it, & neither of us WANTED it. THAT is the Key.
--- You are going to freak out if DJ ends up asking this chick to go out. It's obvious she was putting her feelers out to find out where you two stand.-----------
----- DJ put the default clause out, so now, it is only friends--------
-----You are going to have to start mentally removing yourself, because you are in it too deep even though you keep telling yourself you aren't.--------
Pages