Alright ladies (and gentlemen...)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Alright ladies (and gentlemen...)
10
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 7:16am

We need some dating tales! Otherwise we need to rename the board 'Single Mothers' ;)


I'm guilty of not attempting to find/seek/make ANY social commitments with members of the opposite sex this summer...but I'm gearing up for it this fall. Maybe sooner. I might do an online profile this month.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 10:28am
I met Luke on POF and just had a generic, straight forward ad. For me when it comes to OLD I prefer to meet ASAP. I don't do a lot of emailing back and forth. Depending on when we begin corresponding will depend on when we meet. For instance, if we begin emailing Monday morning and send a few emails back and forth during the day I will suggest meeting that evening or the next day.

Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 11:39pm

Congrats on the year!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:50pm

I agree w/post above plus I'd add, don't assume you'll have chemistry the first time you meet. I always gave a guy 2 dates before the old NEXT hatchet.

I met my current BF, TM, on Match. We've been together almost 5 mos so I am another example of OLD success.

QB

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 2:33am

What age group are you looking to date? I think that has a LOT to do on what you post on your profile.

Us guys are visual. Guys are notorious not reading, especially if there are a lot of choices to be had online. So having photos of you in a variety of settings/situations that you enjoy helps. NO photos of scenery or grandkids/kids or of your vacation or pets unless you are in them.

No mug shots from your driver's license or old high school/college photos unless you just graduated, i.e. only photos of the past year.

Profiles are for marketing yourself and should not be a biography. They should be crafted to stand out and get contacted. Writing a lot about your life, your likes/dislikes, etc. is best left to find out while you are actually dating.

I believe too many people think they know themselves but they really don't. So describing yourself usually does not reflect who you really are (and others as well) from my experience.

Plus they put in their must haves or have nots but in reality if the chemistry is there in real life then a lot of people readjust their thinking.

I believe there are so many people screen out others based on their profiles but if they met in real life and got to know one another then it would be a different story.

Keep it short and have others who know you review it.

Mark who has been OLD for 10 yrs and now in a great 2 yr+ relationship with someone he met off eHarmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 11:33am

Great post, Mark.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 4:09pm

It's always interesting to get a man's opinion on this. I know pictures are important & it's not like I don't look at a guy's picture to get an idea. It's just unfortunate since I don't think looks are my strong suit. It's funny though how little care I see in some men's pictures--I saw one guy in his old sweat pants, then there are always the ones where you can see that he cropped off a woman in the picture. lol One had a young woman w/ him in the picture & she had a T shirt from my DD's sorority. But I def. wouldn't include any photos of my kids--I think that's kind of invading their privacy plus if guys saw pics of my beautiful 21 yr old DD, they'd probably be asking me how to contact her even if they were my age.

I really agree w/ this, which is why I think OLD has its limitations: "I believe there are so many people screen out others based on their profiles but if they met in real life and got to know one another then it would be a different story." But I guess that you have to start somewhere.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 4:47pm
Well, I'm doing "speed dating" this Thursday.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 9:24pm

FUN! I'd love to try speed dating. Let us know how it goes.


Thanks for the input everyone :) Someone (Mark?) asked what age range I'm in...I'm 40...so I'm looking in the 37ish - 47ish. Seems like a lot of 50+ year old men dig me. I just don't want to go to that range though (ex-H is 51 and I'd just like to stay more around my age this time).


I have young children (4 & 8) and

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 11:25pm

The reason why I asked about your age range is because it is different if you are in your 20s versus your age and my age (I started when I was mid-40s and now I'm late 50s).

We all may be looking for the committed, long term relationship but in it does come in different "flavors" depending on our age.

When I was seeking a partner, I figured I had to look for someone younger because those women in my age range already had kids out of the house and they were looking to travel and had retirement in mind.

I had my kids when I was 36 and 40 and after my divorce, no way I could think of retiring. So I was seeking someone who had kids around my children ages so that meant 5 to 10 yrs younger.

I think it is hard to find people in your age and older that have not already been married and usually have children as well.

BTW as I told one of my co-workers who was looking as well, that it was hard enough to find someone that matched much less finding someone who has the "perfect" aged children. He was looking for a woman that had children out of the house like him. I did not look for that as a disqualification for it kept me from looking at the woman first as a partner.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 7:07pm
When I was doing OLD between divorces I was around 42. I didn't find it that hard to get guys in their 40's. I really didn't have much older guys hitting on me. The ages of the kids is sometimes a problem--at that time my kids were little. I met one really nice guy who was 9 yrs older than me--he's probably the oldest guy I ever went out with and he broke things off after a few dates because his kids were all grown up and he was even a grandfather and he said that he just didn't want to be involved w/ someone w/ little kids. But then my 2nd DH was 2.5 yrs older than me & he had a DD the same age as mine so it definitely can work out.