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| Wed, 08-09-2006 - 4:01pm |
Hello. It has been a while since I have posted on any of iVillage's boards. I've been going through a lot in the past year and have just started to settle down some. Here is a little background about me...
My name is Jennifer, I'm 30, and live in VA. I have been divorced since last October (2005) but have been separated for 3 years. I have a 6 yr old son, Logan. He is the only reason I live on this earth right now. I've dated a lot of men in the past 3 years that I've been single. I have only introduced one man to my son because it was a serious relationship but that ended and it wasn't good. This was around the end of last year. My ex has already remarried. Of course I have moments when I ask why I haven't found anyone and what is wrong with me....I'm not insecure or anything....it's just that my ex really put me down and did the mental abuse thing. Always made me feel like I wasn't worthy or good enough, in his own sarcastic but educated kind of way. lol Jerk. lol Anyway, I am currently going back to school to finish my Bachelor's in education, just bought my first house, and I'm feeling lonely AGAIN. The last time I dated anyone was back in early April. I go out and do things, hang out with family and friends, go shopping, remodel my house, etc. I do like my own time and space because I get to do a lot of internal "repair" and adjusting and just chill. I have been on Match like some of you ladies have and have found some really nice guys on there but it's like each one I have met meets only one of my interests or ideals. I know that no one is perfect, myself included, but nothing has clicked yet. I haven't been on Match since about February. While buying my house and redecorating and moving, I was glad that I did not have to focus on a relationship and could just make sure I spent time with my son. Now that everything is settling down, I realize how lonely I am for a partner. I'm not ready to jump in with both feet yet and that keeps me from going out and dating again. I know I should go and do more things but, being in the financial shape I'm in, I can't afford to do cruises, travel to different countries, etc. I travel with my family or friends and that is about it. We will go to festivals, the beach, the mountains, and stuff like that. With me working full time, being a single mom, being on a budget, and going back to school, I'm limited to how much I can do. I know you all know what I'm talking about but I had to say it. :) I have thought about getting on Match again in the next month or so but just being peculiar as to who I contact. I'm not searching for a certain "look", even though I DO like men with dark hair and blue eyes lol. I'm just waiting for that CLICK. Make sense? Someone educated but still has a good sense of humor and can relax. I'm laid back and laugh at everything. :)
So here I am wanting to join you ladies and see what situations you have gotten into and what advice you can give or what I can give to you all. I'm so happy that I found y'all!
Jennifer (sorry to be so winded!)

Hi Jennifer,
Thx for writing to my post. My name is Jackie and I totally understand the lonely feeling. I met many people from Match and also Yahoo Personals...I had fun dating and met some really interesting people. Oddly enough, I didn't find the "one" on these sites. Not saything that it doesn't work. My friend found the love of her life on Match. However, I was always told that it will come when I am not looking. I, too, was in the middle of moving w/my boys and school and redecorating my new home when I met J. (Guy I spoke about in my post). I wasn't thinking about a relationship. For the first time in my life, I wasn't looking for it. Maybe while in school you'll meet someone great. Socialize, don't just walk to the class and rush out. Get to know people. Exchange #'s (can always use the old "just in case I miss class and have to get an assignment" excuse). You will find the one, I'm sure. Congrats on all of your accomplishments, don't ever let anyone bring you down again. For your sake and your sons.
Happy mom to 3 wonderful Boys and 1 pretty Girl!
Hello Jennifer and welcome to our board. I can totally relate to you and am in your shoes. I agree totally with azriakai - you will find him when you are not looking. School sounds promising though.
Good luck and keep us posted!!