Am I the only one who couldn't wait???
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Am I the only one who couldn't wait???
| Fri, 04-18-2008 - 6:09am |
I've talked to several men since I've begun the wonderful OLD thing - lol - who have told me that they've been legally separated for looooong periods (I'm talking up to 4 years).

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I have only recently separated (just over a month, although in my mind it has been a lot longer than that!), but I am not in any rush to divorce. In fact I don't care if I never divorce! Of course my opinion may change over time, but since I have no intention of remarrying etc I can not see the point. Just my opinion ....
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Tracy
"I have only recently separated (just over a month, although in my mind it has been a lot longer than that!), but I am not in any rush to divorce. In fact I don't care if I never divorce! Of course my opinion may change over time, but since I have no intention of remarrying etc I can not see the point. Just my opinion ...."
You might not have any intention of getting remarried right now- but why keep the legal connection, if there are no intentions of getting back together with your ex, either? Unless there IS a chance of reconiliation.
I think there IS a mental change that you go through when a marriage becomes finalized, and it's different than just simply being separated. Just like there IS a difference between simply living together, and being married
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Lisa-
I don't understand the reasons why these men from OLD are still hanging on, either!! I'm one who couldn't wait, just like you. Once I come to the conclusion it's over and there's no going back, then I was wanting it to just BE DONE so I can really move forward to leaving it all behind. I didn't want to have to wait years to go by, just to have to come back to "clean up loose ends" later. I just wanted it all DONE!!!!
Procrastination, maybe? Denial or avoidance of something unpleasant? Maybe there are some financial benefits that keep them hanging on (like the insurance thing, through the wife)? I guess everyone has their reasons for getting married when they do... maybe they have their reasons for hanging on too. But if the emotional bond is not there for being TOGETHER, then I think they might as well make the legal part separate, too.
I don't know why people wait, when it keeps them tied to the ex, and you can't really move on while that tie is still there. If they are still legally married, they shouldn't be ON the online sites to begin with, IMO!!! And if they are wanting to move on... then MOVE ON and get divorced already!!!!!!
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
My attitude was divorce papers are only pieces of paper... the real divorce happens in your heart... as I separated my thoughts and feeling from the ex... as I rebuilt my identity... as I found peace..... as I recovered... as i forgave.
I was separated for over 2 years before filing the paperwork, and then another 6 months before the divorce was final.
My attitude was divorce papers are only pieces of paper... the real divorce happens in your heart
I totally understand where you are coming from!!
the xh abandoned me & our 1 month old at a vacant apartment my parents had. he wanted to be separated but not divorced because he did not want to 1) break up his retirement plan at work and 2) have to tell grandmother that he was getting a
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