Am I over analyzing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Am I over analyzing?
16
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 10:25am

I've mentioned before that my bf has some trust issues - which I'm really trying to be sensitive to but sometimes I just don't get him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 1:31pm

LOL - didn't see your reply when I was making my other post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 1:35pm

Lol- well sometimes the books can't fit the situation because the author can't cover every possibility.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 1:41pm

"I need to step back, realize it's not me, and do whatever I need to do and just keep making my life (and my kid's) the best it can be. "

I think that is just the thing - don't work too hard at trying to overcome his own issues. Just wait and see. My new saying now is "don't make a feast out of a crumb" just because there are so few crumbs!! LOL!!

The thing that would be good is if he realizes that his issues are making things hard on you and upsetting you - in other words you going out and not answering the phone scares him because he was cheated on - but the right answer is not to stonewall and make you miserable for days, it is to talk about it - if he did that I would be more inclined to keep going. But if he gets defensive and tries to blame you for his issues and actions then I don't know about that.

Some things you can change and some you can't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 1:44pm

"But if he gets defensive and tries to blame you for his issues and actions then I don't know about that. "


Exactly!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 1:48pm

I've been in sales and marketing for ages (still am).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 3:19pm

I have this bad tendency to try and fix everything and make everything right and take blame for things that aren't possibly my fault.

Cat

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