Do you know what search engines, etc he used to find her? I would love to know because my oldest is searching for her grandmother. My X is adopted and won't help her, but she wants to know where she comes from.
This is beginning to sound like OLD. First the e-mail/phone call contact, then a coffee meet, then bring him home to meet the kids- the rest of the kids in this case. But seriously, it is fantastic she got the response so quick. Seeing as he has been looking for her for quite a while, he also must be going through a lot emotionally. Of course they need time to get to know one another before overwhelming him with a bunch of "new" relatives. Your brother needs to chill. Best of luck to you all.
This would be quite a bit to get your head wrapped around. Personally, I would be like you and need time to absorb it all. Maybe your brother's protective side for his mom is coming out and he wants to meet to see if he's legit.
Emma.....who is always making excuses for why people act the way they do! lol
I have an interest in this thread from a different perspective all together. As most of you know, I am an adoptive mom. I am my children’s mother even though I did not give birth to them. I realize that people do place children for adoption for many different reasons and long ago it was very different than what it is today.
Today most domestic adoption are open and the child continues to have a relationship with the birth mom (or parents) on an on going basis. My children were adopted through the foster care system so it is a bit different for them. I do know who their biological parents are so that information would be readily available to them if they ever had the desire to search. I could find my youngest son’s biological mother quite easily as she has not left the area. He has several biological siblings as well that I know how to contact. My biggest issue is that it may not be safe for them or they may end up hurt.
April, I know your mom is very excited as you are, I’m sure. But remember that although he is biologically related to you that is really all you have in common. You do not have a shared history that families share. I hope this post is taken in the spirit it was meant. But I really don’t think that it is biology that makes a family. It is much more than that: love, respect, shared lives, bonds that are built over time. Of course he may become part of your family, but right now he is merely a stranger that shares your DNA. He and your mother may decide to meet or may feel that it just isn’t a good idea. Slow is good. It takes a long time to get to know someone. I guess it is a bit like dating and finding a good match.
Good luck to you and I look forward to hearing how things are going.
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April, that is SOOO cool! I'm glad things have unfolded so quickly, and that everyone is so open to it all. How exciting!
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
OMG! That is SO COOL!!!!!!!! Wow! You guys must all be on pins & needles dying to meet him!
I am not sure what agency finally helped him, I can ask though.
April
This is beginning to sound like OLD. First the e-mail/phone call contact, then a coffee meet, then bring him home to meet the kids- the rest of the kids in this case. But seriously, it is fantastic she got the response so quick. Seeing as he has been looking for her for quite a while, he also must be going through a lot emotionally. Of course they need time to get to know one another before overwhelming him with a bunch of "new" relatives. Your brother needs to chill. Best of luck to you all.
QueenBun
This would be quite a bit to get your head wrapped around. Personally, I would be like you and need time to absorb it all. Maybe your brother's protective side for his mom is coming out and he wants to meet to see if he's legit.
Emma.....who is always making excuses for why people act the way they do! lol
I have an interest in this thread from a different perspective all together. As most of you know, I am an adoptive mom. I am my children’s mother even though I did not give birth to them. I realize that people do place children for adoption for many different reasons and long ago it was very different than what it is today.
Today most domestic adoption are open and the child continues to have a relationship with the birth mom (or parents) on an on going basis. My children were adopted through the foster care system so it is a bit different for them. I do know who their biological parents are so that information would be readily available to them if they ever had the desire to search. I could find my youngest son’s biological mother quite easily as she has not left the area. He has several biological siblings as well that I know how to contact. My biggest issue is that it may not be safe for them or they may end up hurt.
April, I know your mom is very excited as you are, I’m sure. But remember that although he is biologically related to you that is really all you have in common. You do not have a shared history that families share. I hope this post is taken in the spirit it was meant. But I really don’t think that it is biology that makes a family. It is much more than that: love, respect, shared lives, bonds that are built over time. Of course he may become part of your family, but right now he is merely a stranger that shares your DNA. He and your mother may decide to meet or may feel that it just isn’t a good idea. Slow is good. It takes a long time to get to know someone. I guess it is a bit like dating and finding a good match.
Good luck to you and I look forward to hearing how things are going.
Priscilla
Thank you Priscilla.
April
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