Up and down but OK

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Up and down but OK
4
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 7:25am
Not too much to update but the fact that Jack and I are still talking - we still miss each other and talk about what is on our minds. He is sick with a bad cold right now but that works in his favor - to get some time before he has to face the Spanish Inquisition of his father. Mind you that by finally introducing me to him - sure or not of our future together - he has opened a can of worms and he knows it. His father is very insistant on grandchildren - so much so that he told his oldest sister that her and her DH needed to adopt this year OR ELSE. They are in FL right now arranging an adoption. (total eyeroll!- his sister had endometriosis and her DH is shooting blanks)

So he was joking last night because he isnt' sure what his Dad will say/ask but he said laughing "At the very least I threw him a bone!" hehehe

I am trying not to stress about it. When he is sure he will be and I decided long ago that when Alyse turned 3 (in a couple weeks) that I wouldn't start any new relationships until she was 5. So no serious dating. I just felt that between the ages of 3 and 5 they see so much and are so impressionable yet don't understand the logic of things and to explain "dating" to her would be too tough. Granted children at all ages can form attachments to men you date if they involved or even around BUT I felt she would not understand the non-perminency during those ages.

So, I guess what I am saying is time will tell. Right now he isn't going anywhere and even said that specifically. In fact he said that no matter what he would always be there for me and I know that is true. I have more serious relationships that I have remained friends with than not.

I have decided to start job hunting again with a vengence. I found out that both the jobs that I had applied for on monster are still available and in a gutsy (for me) move I called the places and tried to see what the deal was. One job hadn't started to interview and the other was re-evaluating what they required of the position. The woman I spoke with was in the HR dept but didn't know too much. Both the top HR guy and his assistant are on vacation this week (a woman....hmmmm...sound fishy? LOL) But she gave me her direct email to resend the resume and samples and she would put that on top and told me to call again next week. I guess it is a new position for their company and they are unsure what to ask for and get what they are looking for. I suggested to her that in the very least I would like to meet with them and if they don't believe that I am what they are looking for I would be willing to help them word their ad in a way to attract a creative person with the qualities they needed. Sometimes I think it is hard for HR people to really "get" what a creative person does in their job. Likewise it is hard for a creative person to articulate a business position. I hope that at least by helping I can keep myself in the running for future positions if not the one available. It isn't the ideal in the fact that I would need to move - not far but I am not driving over an hour to work everyday (it is about 80 miles from me now) but it is the ideal position. It is for a stationary/scrapbooking co. and I am SOOOOOOOOO into that and good at it (modest huh?) LOL

The other job is local and I think I am really qualified and would be a great job too.

I think once I am back FT I might feel better. At least I won't have time to obsess and overanalyze hahahahaha

Laura

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 11:35am

and I decided long ago that when Alyse turned 3 (in a couple weeks) that I wouldn't start any new relationships until she was 5...


Why? What is the significance of that age?


Glad you're doing ok!

Becky

Becky

 

 

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 11:49am
I totally agree when you have to much time on your hands, you tend to over analyse everything. I was on vacation for 3 weeks and I made myself crazy doing just that.

It sounds like Jacks family has some SERIOUS issues. Everyone in that family sounds so puppeted from the Mom and Dad. How sad and how sad for people to not want to live their own lives and make their own decisions because of money. Isn't worth it too me. Glad you both are still communicating though. And though you say you aren't interested in dating, they always say: When you aren'T looking, love hits.

You don't have to introduce your daughter to anyone. It is your life and your choice and if the right one does come along. Then you'll know.

Big hugs and good luck on the jobs!

- Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 4:03pm
I thought I explained it with the following:

"I just felt that between the ages of 3 and 5 they see so much and are so impressionable yet don't understand the logic of things and to explain "dating" to her would be too tough. Granted children at all ages can form attachments to men you date if they involved or even around BUT I felt she would not understand the non-perminency during those ages."

With Alyse not having a father at all it is confusing and I see how attached she is to Jack and told him that he needs to not come around as much - no more staying over and things. It is too confusing for her at this point in time. Of course I don't want anything abrupt and this is my own opinion but because of my inability to go out alone and not expose a new person to her I don't think dating is an option. I usually cannot go out and any time Jack and I are together is at my home or with Alyse - we might be alone together for something outside my house once every other month. And that isn't from comfort - it is from lack of babysitters.

L

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 4:09pm
Thanks Catherine. I still believe that Jack is the right one. As far as issues I think all families do. I know that mine does. In their case it is the control but I do not believe it has anything to do with money. I think it is more about personality. His father is very intense and driven and his mother is VERY shy and lonely and the way they use their personalities to influence their children isn't uncommon - they both just have very extreme personalities and are polar opposites!

Sometimes I think I shouldn't have mentioned the money issue because I now know that has really NOTHING to do with it. I can't speak for his oldest sister but I have a feeling it doesn't in her case either. And the middle sister doesn't give a hoot about any of it! So please know that I think it is personality and not money at the root of all this.

Thanks

L