and the drama continues....

Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
and the drama continues....
3
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 10:43am
So FOB decides to take it upon himself to just take my 2 yr. old until whatever time he decides on sunday for father's day, it bugged the hell out of me, i wouldn't have minded if he woulda' had the courtesy of asking beforehand, but we have a court order, and we both agreed to follow that, when we don't only drama comes from it, i miss my son all weekend long and then he decides to keep him longer on sunday instead of bringing him at 11, well i got a police report, i just feel that he'll keep doin' it and i don't think that's right.....that was the second time and i just want some kind of proof so when this does become an everyday thing i can take him to court......so we had an argument over that etc etc.....then he has him on wed., and my boyfriend was going to go with me to look for a cell phone before he got there and before i had to go to work, well the baby ended up not waking up till late so i let him sleep by the time he woke up i had one hour to feed him, bathe him, and get him ready to go wit' his dad, so when he came for him at 11 we were leaving too because i work at 11:30, so i open the door (and this is a new situation to all of us) so we kinda' just stand there...later on i realized i should have introduced them but i didn't think of it at the time, FOB just looked really mad, and my boyfriend was waiting for him to step out of line like he did on sunday to say something so he just kinda' stood there not really wanting to leave my side, well then my son didn't want to go with his dad, and i guess he thought my boyfriend was leaving and so he grabbed on to his hand and kept saying he didn't want to go, he said he wanted to go to mcdonald's so i told him that maybe he could ask his dad to take him and when he did, his dad said yes and he got him to go that way.....well when FOB brought him home he asked my mom what point was i trying to prove by having my boyfriend there and holding on to damian's hand.....that's the thing i didn't do this on purpose, my boyfriend and I had other plans......so what do i do then, and btw, FOB had already came to my house to pick up my son with his gf in the car, and i didn't say anything b/c i know i have no rights, we lost all of those the day he walked out on us....well the thing is that he's taking him for 10 days next month for the first time ever and i just think it'd be good to be on good terms so i can call at least twice and see if my son's ok........
other than that, things with my boyfriend are going really really good, we're talking about getting married and getting a house, he's trying to switch jobs right now so he can make a little more for us, he tells me how he'll be here for me for whatever i need, whether it be for the things with FOB, or my son, or anything else, he's the sweetest guy i could have ever hoped for, i love him, and if that wasn't the case then my son wouldn't be around him
oh yeah found out FOB has a gf with twin 4 year old boys...funny how he walked out on me b/c he was supposedly scared of responsibility and he goes out with this chick.....but i don't care i have someone better, and as long as my son has me it doesn't matter

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 4:29pm

Well, you're on the right track- document everything that you can if he strays an inch from the court order.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 7:30pm

I agree with Alison.

You do have to live a separate life from the FOB and not pay attention to what he does. I think you should promote his relationship with your DS - but you should also keep him bound to what the court says with regards to visitation.

If there is a way to minimize what he sees about you now, until you get the dust settled a little more, that will make it easier. I guess what I am trying to say, is that I would not allow my exh to meet a boyfriend, particulary if we had just started dating. Not sure how you can manage that but maybe you can keep it in mind.

My counselor urged me to keep my private life private - and that has served me well over the past 5 years.

Good luck - glad to hear you have a wonderful man who is so supportive. Keep us posted.

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Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 10:05am
Although I agree that maybe it was too soon and not the way to go about introducing my boyfriend to FOB if my boyfriend's feeling uneasy because I don't want him around when they're picking up my son then I can't really keep him private....and it's only because he's just not any other boyfriend, this is who I'm thinking of settling down with. But I didn't do it on purpose, and it's not like I show disrespect and kiss him and hug him or anything in front of him, you know?? I'm not trying to be despiteful, but next time I think I'm going to ask my boyfriend if he can just wait in the living room you know?? The thing is that later on, he'll be seeing him around so much more, might as well get little glimpse's of him here and there, and we'll be living together soon too